He deleted me of facebook? !!!

[padawan]

Hi everyone,

 

My ex from last year, we dated for two years it was pretty serious. But we kept going back and forth after our break up in Jan 2009, there was this other girl he was seeing. However due to the distance I currently study (university) in another country we see each other very sporadic over the holidays (easter, summer and winter). We have not spoken over the past four months, I went strict NC after I went home over Easter and he initially wanted to make it work, but then run back to his rebound chick and was complaining about my phone calls. I later found out they broke up in July and he was hanging out with another chick. This again did not work out. However today he deleted me on facebook, I am shocked and very distraught and can't help but keep wondering why? He knew I graduated two months ago however he has not bothered to call and congratulate me. We have a lot of close mutual friends and I am close to his relatives. Regardless of the break up we always maintained contact and were friends when we both needed each other. I did however three months ago get a new mobile no. and also a blackberry pin (I still kept my old number on). However everyone around him new my pin and new mobile number. I did not bother sending it to him because we were NC and he had not made any attempt to call me or contact me. Should I call him in a few weeks and see how he is doing? Is he trying to get a reaction from me? He is hardly active on facebook and has a total of 70 friends, in addition he never deleted me even during our past NC moments last year, when he proposed we need to stop speaking. What is going on? HELP ME PLEASE? WHAT DO I DO? Plus its his mum birthday in two weeks, I was going to text now I am not sure if I should?

 

:'(

 

Paddy

[USMCHokie]

I went strict NC...

 

...However today he deleted me on facebook, I am shocked and very distraught and can't help but keep wondering why?

 

Why does this even bother you...? You claim you went "strict" NC, yet you get butthurt if he deletes you off FB? Why were you even friends on FB to begin with...?

[edgeofdarkness]

id be cheering my head off if i were u. brilliant, one less thing to worry about.

[padawan]

I thought this forum topic is second chances, hence I thought the reason we are here is to try and sort things out with our ex's ?????

 

Well I still CARE AND HOPE THERE IS A CHANCE. But I went NC because I learnt like a butterfly holding him too tight was only making him fight more to break free and eventually suffocating our relationship so I kept away. But not to illicit this reaction. What do you think the reasons behind this is?

[USMCHokie]

I thought this forum topic is second chances, hence I thought the reason we are here is to try and sort things out with our ex's ?????

 

Ah, yes...young padawan...we all first come to LS, especially the "Second Chances" forum (), in hopes that people will guide us on how to get our exes back...but after you spend some time here and listen to the wise advice from those who have come before and been right where you are now, you'll realize that second chances hardly ever successfully happen, and you are often better off completely letting go and moving on...you broke up for a reason...and he is not coming back to you for a reason...because it just didn't work out...stop wasting your time and emotion on someone who doesn't want you...and look for someone who deserves and wants your love and attention...

 

 

Well I still CARE AND HOPE THERE IS A CHANCE. But I went NC because I learnt like a butterfly holding him too tight was only making him fight more to break free and eventually suffocating our relationship so I kept away. But not to illicit this reaction. What do you think the reasons behind this is?

 

NC isn't meant to bring them back. It's not meant to "set them free" so they come back or any other honky bullsh*t...it's meant for you to heal your wounds from the breakup and move on with your life...it's not meant to illicit any reaction from your ex...because anything your ex does in reaction to your NC is irrelevant...NC is about YOU...so the reasons behind him deleting you from FB are irrelevant...

 

 

Sorry, but I'm not going to tell you what you want to hear, because honestly, it will do you more harm than good.

[Username37]

*signals Yellowshark*

 

Well here's my story short. I went NC, my ex and I remained FB friends, one day she restricted profiled me, and I was sad. Then I realized that it was a good thing she did. I didn't want to see her crap. And if she was hiding stuff from me, we have like....137 mutual friends and some are EVEN my family so yeah. FB is nothing but trouble. He probably had a problem looking at your profile so he took it off. That or he's hiding something or moving on.

 

Stick with NC. And yeah, I'm hoping for a second chance too.

[edgeofdarkness]

I thought this forum topic is second chances, hence I thought the reason we are here is to try and sort things out with our ex's ?????

 

Well I still CARE AND HOPE THERE IS A CHANCE. But I went NC because I learnt like a butterfly holding him too tight was only making him fight more to break free and eventually suffocating our relationship so I kept away. But not to illicit this reaction. What do you think the reasons behind this is?

 

Yeh, but look at the forum subtitle

 

Called it off but doubting the decision now? no you didnt, he did and cheated on you repeatedly.

 

Someone wants you back? no he doesnt hes just messing with your head and the more you let him the harder u will fall and feel the pain time and time again

 

Let us know about it! so its not working for u is it?

 

see, if you check this forum out very few threads talk about success in getting back together. Its a sham, and second chances never work. if it aint broke it wouldnt need fixing. if it is broke, repairing is never as good as nu.

[padawan]

I thank you for your opinion. I have actually been on this forum for a two years just joined as a new member because I got a new email account. However this might be one of those instances we agree to disagree.

 

Granted second chances are rare, but I have some friends where second chances have worked out. Moreover even on this forum second chances happen, only that when they do happen the counterparts rarely come on LS seeing as their life is going very well and they are probably planning a wedding.

 

Yes I went NC to get my life together I had my finals graduation and could deal with the stress from him. I went NC to work on me and also to be emotionally strong. But unlike most people on this forum who might do it out of bitterness or anger or rejection. I still LOVE him and I am not ashamed to admit. So yes I am disturbed about being deleted on facebook in addition we were always there for each other as friends. So yes I miss him as a friend also.

 

HELP anyone, why was I deleted?

 

[padawan]

Edge of darkness true love is kind or unconditional. SO FOR NC AND MOVING ON I FORGAVE but still care. And as for the forum and second chances being a sham, I doubt the creators of this forum would go to such lengths. In addition the subtopic tittle is SECOND CHANCES !!! Case in point ....

 

Someone any ideas why he deleted me? Does he want a reaction?

 

[edgeofdarkness]

if u know him so well, then why do you think he did it?

 

i think its because he doesnt want to do this any more. if he wanted to keep a hold on u he would, but if he has deleted u, its because he wants you to not see stuff that probably involves another chick.

what do u think is the most likely reason? Be realistic.

[USMCHokie]

HELP anyone, why was I deleted?

 

It's his way of saying he wants to get back together with you...

[padawan]

He still has all his other ex's on his list. And he doesn't care much about facebook- he has 70 friends in total and his activity since the account opened is summed up in two pages. Moreover I opened the account for him also. And he knows I take facebook seriously. Perhaps he is trying to get me to break NC especially because he might think I want nothing to do with him (new no. and BB pin and all). Or perhaps he is trying to tell me its over- but if that was the case he would have deleted me last year when S**T hit the fan. Why now?

 

@USMCHokie: No I really don't think so *that was cruel*

 

:'(. anyone ??? Should I call him? Why would he delete me?

[edgeofdarkness]

maybe maybe maybe, but u cant second guess him. its not possible, and really i think its a big hint. look, u can ask for all the other help and input u want, but peeps here is gonna tell u - stay NC, dont even think of contacting him. deleting you off fb is a hint, and it means he doesnt want you seeing him, so what bigger hint so u need that hes trying to shut this one down? Really gurl, leave him be, he doesnt want to be contacted by u. dont ask why, we cant tell u, nobody can cept him, and hes not telling.

[padawan]

I guess you might be right. But all advice or any other perspectives are welcome?

[edgeofdarkness]

I asked other people to come in and help. this thread has had 74 hits, but nobody else has replied, maybe its because youd get more of the same, i dunno. whatever you do dont double thread somewhere else. i hope someone else will come in and give u a diff perspective to ours but i dont think so.

[Gettingtired]

And he knows I take facebook seriously.

 

I dont mean to be awful or anything, but there's the problem right there.

 

You've said he has few friends and no activity on his wall, so that goes to show he doesn't think very much to Facebook.

So he wont understand how seriously you take FB, nor do I.

 

FB is BS.

 

It sounds like you really need to know why he's deleted you. Maybe he's been looking at your profile all this time, seeing what you've been up to and decided he cant do that anymore.

So to remove temptation, he removed you.

 

Who knows really??

[padawan]

Thank you great input....

 

1) He knows this because I opened his account for him last year.

2) If he would ever have deleted me, he would have last year when s**T hit the fan and he wanted nothing to do with me.

3) So perhaps he is trying to send a message to me or illicit a reaction?

4) Which is it? Has been checking my facebook? Or trying to get a reaction?

[PrettyPoppy]

I'm sorry Padawan, I know this hurts terribly.

 

I think this is your cue to take care of yourself, which is hard to do at times. The reason I say this is that he has already been with another girl and the breakup has been long.

Chances are it may now be time for him to let you, the ex gf go, most especially if there is a new gf, who would be none-too-happy to share him.

Some things that have helped me:

Baths

Walks

Exercise

Forcing myself to do things

Cleaning house

Eating properly

 

Best of luck.

[edgeofdarkness]

jesus why are you even asking, why even care? you have to get over asking because if you dont know, we cant answer and the only person who can really never will, or if you ask him he will probably lie to you and sometimes who knows why anybody does anything. youve been broken up a while now, time to take this opportunity to turn a page and move on not contact him leave him be and get on with your life. theres a poster here called caliguy who has a brilliant thread on no contact you have to read it its awesome it tells u everything u really need to know bout moving on and leaving the ex behind, its the best you have to read it, seriously.

 

here it is found it

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t81399/

[VeveCakes]

Ok first of all, don't come here and ask for advice and then ignore it when you don't get the reply you want. Second of all, he deleted you because he either has a new gf and out of respect got rid of the ex, is over you, or is trying to get over you. He doesn't want you in his life anymore, THAT is clear. Time to move on. Denial, it aint just a river in Egypt.

[Thorgs]

I thought this forum topic is second chances, hence I thought the reason we are here is to try and sort things out with our ex's ?????

I thought so too when I first posted in here, but it's more like an extension of the "Coping" forum because second chances are rare.

[padawan]

Thank you everyone for the input, I need to provide a more detailed background:

 

We dated for two years and we had met each other parents. It was a step away from marriage. For the past year he kept talking about us getting back together, when I move home. He is now single so why would he do this. Unless its to illicit a reaction from me since I have kept away from him and talk to everyone else but him. And he knows how to push my buttons.

 

Prettypoppy thank you for the words of encouragement, it means a lot. I know its time to take care of me. Its just that after the break up we still maintained a healthy friendship and I thought that this would still exist after the relationship. Perhaps my reaction to go NC and then cut him out from my life lead to him doing this. But my old numbers were still active.

 

Thorgs thank you I think not, I've been a member of the forum for 3 years and I have come across a few success stories. Second chances are rare but they do come around for true love.

 

Vevecakes I have not rejected anyone's advice I just appreciate various angles and at times emotions blur up your judgement process. Secondly he is not with anyone new. We have a lot mutual friends and I am close with a lot of his relatives. Thirdly since last year we have always maintained contact especially when we were both going through difficult times. Even when he was with his rebound chick.

 

Edgeofdarkness Thank you I have already read caliguy's NC notes, I understand NC is for me. But I miss him so much and just need to know why he would delete me and none of his other ex's. We dated for two years and we had met each other parents. It was a step away from marriage. For the past year he kept talking about us getting back together, when I move home. He is now single so why would he do this. Unless its to illicit a reaction from me since I have kept away from him and talk to everyone else but him. And he knows how to push my buttons.

[LisaLee]

4) Which is it? Has been checking my facebook? Or trying to get a reaction?

 

Sounds like he just wants to be rid of you, tbh. That is my impression. I think you are grasping at straws. And you shouldn't take FB so seriously... sheesh, your desperation over such a minuscule issue is so sad.

[TheLoneSock]

HELP anyone, why was I deleted?

 

Because he no longer wants you to be a part of his life. Not even on a social networking site. Deep down he probably does want a reaction because it would stroke his ego, but not because he wants to get back together. People do many different things to cope and get over the other person and this is one of the things he is doing to get over you. It's just how it is.

 

Yeah it hurts but what are you going to do about it? Are you going to freak out and pour attention onto him or are you going to start moving on yourself?

[padawan]

Thank you, perhaps you are right and I am grasping at straws.

 

1) With facebook, I am in university and we all use it for communication purposes and its usually quicker to get someone on their facebook if you are looking for them (sad I know). So anyone who knows me knows what facebook means. Its paramount to excommunicating someone from your life.

 

2) 'Desperation is sad' :

 

Well I guess I he was my first love and I still love him, so I took NC to get myself together and concentrate on graduating. Secondly all through our ups and downs we always communicate and a year and a half after we broke up he kept saying we would get back together. Plus we were each others best friends.

 

3) There might be a chance I sent the wrong signal and all hope of us getting back together is lost. Perhaps keeping away for so long was not the best idea. And why delete me and none of his ex's ???