abrisawesome Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 I dated my ex girlfriend about 15 months. Im 21 and she is 19. We had a lot of rough patches throughout the relationship but still ended it on relatively decent terms. She is the only girlfriend I have shared such a close emotional bond with, yet deep down in my heart I knew something was off. We each had made some poor decisions in the relationship but decided to call it quits after us realizing that we didnt feel the same way towards one another. We still talked after the breakup and even met up, went places, and had sex just like we did during our relationship. Anyway, she started a long distance relationship (7+ hour drive) with a guy two months or so after breaking up. I live a half mile from her. Even when she was with her new boyfriend we were still talking me. She said she misses me and is confused blah blah blah. However, I had just about enough with her! No contact came into play and things were slowly improving as for as my emotional health was concerned. The NC lasted about a month and a half and she texted me, and I was weak and texted her back. That lasted a week and NC was initiated again. That lasted a month and SHE texted me again. This time it was only a few text messages but it went like this: Her: Hi.. Me: Hey Her: Can I ask you something? Me: Go for it Her: Are you dating (insert girl name)? Me: I dont have to answer this but Im not dating her. Why does it matter? Her: I was just on browsing facebook and tried looking at your profile noticed you had a picture with her. Me: I dont know what youre trying to get at, but tell me what you really want or dont text me. She ended up not texting me back...until yet another month passed by! Now we are at the present. Ill briefly mention that I still have feelings for her even after all these months but she was AWLAYS the one to text me first. She is still dating the same guy, but now she wants to meet up to clear things up while at the same time "catch up". Im planning on doing so even though I know it is not the brightest thing to do. I do believe we can be friends, but now may not be the time. Basically, I get the feeling she misses me at to some extent. I am not sure about her motives about meeting up. My question to all of you is this: What the hell do you think is going on in that brain of hers?
BiAxident Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 At first glance, I would say that she is simply being friendly and wants to keep your in her life since you've known each other for a while. However, the fact that she asked you if she could ask you a question before she actually asked you the question seems to be to be a sign that something more is going on. As for what is going on in her brain? Sorry friend, I'm a guy, and thus totally unqualified to even guess what goes on in the mind of a woman in love.
Don Ho Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 I think she's doing a little "fishing" to see where your head is at. Maybe it's not so rosey after all with the LDR. If you're truly done with her, then continue NC and do not respond to her at all. When she asked me if I was dating that girl, I probably would have said "Yes" or not told her a straight up answer. I would probably meet up with her and do a little fishing myself to figure out what she's thinking. If you do, you have to be cool and friendly. Not a prick, but not a pussy. An "I don't care attitude, but it's nice to see you". Keep in mind she's young bro and there's probably a lot more drama and heartache if you did get back together. Let us know how it goes.
edgeofdarkness Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 simple, i dont want you, but i dont want anyone else to have you, i dont want you to want anyone else. tell her to get lost, dude. shes out of your life, you have a life and deserve to live it. What is it with dumpers, why do they keep having to play us, when they were the ones to end it in the first place? Right on about not being able to guess how a woman thinks, or even a guy. if they break up with you, tell them right away, dont ever contact me again, and if you do, dont be surprised if i just blow you off. how many times do you want to kill me exactly?
Author abrisawesome Posted August 19, 2010 Author Posted August 19, 2010 I really appreciate the responses. I wont lie, I am curious to see what she wants to "clear up" with me. I had asked her if its things that will upset me and she said no, but who knows. Yes, I do miss her...but getting back together with her is not an option. I wont allow it to happen. The end of our relationship affected many aspects of my life. I predict more NC after this meeting. Ill let you guys know what goes down.
Don Ho Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 If you don't want anything to do with her and you're truly done, then there's no reason to meet her. I suspect that part of you wants her back. She wants to clear up what, her guilt? I think I would just blow her off.
Author abrisawesome Posted August 19, 2010 Author Posted August 19, 2010 A part of me does want her back...but like I said, I cant really afford to be in a relationship because there are other parts of my life which need more attention. As much as I miss being her lover, she was my best friend too. I have lots of other great friends, there was just certain things I could only share with her. I suppose not meeting up with her would probably be best. Still a hard decision for me.
Don Ho Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 Not a hard decision bro. Don't meet her. You WERE great friends. You WERE great lovers. And once upon a time I was a wealthy, good looking actor in Hollywood .... or maybe I was the All Star Captain of the football team in HS. Heck, I don't remember, I get confused. Point is: it is in the PAST bro. DONE. There is NO good reason for you to meet her and plenty of solid reason why you should not. Move forward and go out and meet some other women this weekend.
edgeofdarkness Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 A part of me does want her back...but like I said, I cant really afford to be in a relationship because there are other parts of my life which need more attention. As much as I miss being her lover, she was my best friend too. I have lots of other great friends, there was just certain things I could only share with her. I suppose not meeting up with her would probably be best. Still a hard decision for me. yeah but once u do it, its easier, cos then u call the shots saw this as a sig somewhere on here, the one who cares the least has more control, so true dude, be in control.
Don Ho Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 Haha Edge. That was me! "He who cares the least, controls the relationship!" That's why you should always pick women that care more about you than you do about them! LOL
edgeofdarkness Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 the secret in a relationship is to care more about them than u care about u, the secret in breaking up is to care more about yrself than u do about them. arse about face, its gotta be done, cool sig, dude.
Don Ho Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 the secret in a relationship is to care more about them than u care about u, the secret in breaking up is to care more about yrself than u do about them. Huh?? IMO the secret to a relationship is to have them care more about you than you care about them AND to care about yourself more than you do about them. That is how an alpha male handles it. If you care more about them than you, then you will be eventually seen as weak, they will lose attraction and you will get dumped!!
edgeofdarkness Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 man i feel sorry for u if u think this is right, one day youll find someone who will blow this theory out the water. alpha males dont act like this if u think this is how they act then u r misguided an alpha male is in charge but only becos he makes everyone feel good protected safe and taken care of. the alpha male you describe is heading for a fall i wish u luck dude, i hope it doesnt hurt too much when the dirt you dish is dished right back doublefold, sad attitude really sad.
Don Ho Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 an alpha male is in charge but only becos he makes everyone feel good protected safe and taken care of. Edge, I agree with what you said here and I think we're on the same page. I'm not saying be a cavalier prick and don't care. Yes, a woman wants a MAN; a guy that will be in charge, keep her safe and protect her. That's basic female instinct. And I think you can be head over heels in love with a woman (that's the ultimate goal for many right?) and I'm all for that. However, I do think most guys go from acting like a man and being confident in the beginning to eventually changing into a pussy. They give away their manhood. As a result, their woman loses interest, lose attraction and they get dumped. That's what I mean bro.
edgeofdarkness Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 (. . .) However, I do think most guys go from acting like a man and being confident in the beginning to eventually changing into a pussy. They give away their manhood. and whos fault is that, its not taken from them, they give it away, then if they do that, its their choice. if people lose their identity the true essence of who they are, its their loss, nobody forced them to do that, theyre dumb enough to let go of their dignity they only have themselves to blame. Wussies. As a result, their woman loses interest, lose attraction and they get dumped. That's what I mean bro. yeah, because the man loses his spine and becomes a wimp, not the guy she started out with, what a let down. you change who you are, no wonder they run off and you lose their respect, becos u change who u are. Not them. And if you bow to pressure, your even more of a wimp. dont u think?
Don Ho Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 We ARE on the same page bro. That's exactly what happens.
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