deux ex machina Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 At times, it's funny how when one hears something put one way, it doesn't quite seem to click, deep down - but hearing essentially the same sentiment, expressed a little differently can sometimes be very effective. At least, that's been my experience. Some of the things I read and discussed with people re: going/staying NC really helped; while others just didn't get through my resistance to going fully NC, at first. Even when it was clear NC was necessary, in my case. One classic little quote helped quite a bit, as far as staying NC was concerned: Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together. I think this one really helped to strengthen my resolve, because the relationship and breakup had me focusing so much on him. This quote was great, in that it was a gentle reminder to put the focus on caring for myself - hand in hand with the message that I am valuable, and thus, shouldn't hurt myself that way. It also helped in acknowledging the futility of the whole thing. Hope you like.
worlybear Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 That's an excellent analogy! I'm going to write it out and stick it on my mirror to remind me that I'm important and he's not!
YellowShark Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 Another one that I saw in someone's signature here really struck home with me and it reads... "Less gravy... more steel.." I dunno why but that one really helps me when I am feeling any self pity.
Author deux ex machina Posted August 19, 2010 Author Posted August 19, 2010 That's an excellent analogy! I'm going to write it out and stick it on my mirror to remind me that I'm important and he's not! What a great idea! Glad you like it, worlybear.
Author deux ex machina Posted August 19, 2010 Author Posted August 19, 2010 (edited) Another one that I saw in someone's signature here really struck home with me and it reads... "Less gravy... more steel.." I dunno why but that one really helps me when I am feeling any self pity. That's GrayClouds, quoting another LSer, caramel c. I always liked that one, too. It's interesting how a certain way of putting things can drive a point home, isn't it? Pretty awesome quote. Thanks! Edited August 19, 2010 by deux ex machina
Thierro Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 (edited) If something shatters that has emotional value, people will do anything to put it back together even though the cracks are still visible in the end; people compromise and settle. It’s more reasonable for a lot of people to fix that what is broken in front of them, than “wait” for something new. Some will cut themselves without feeling a thing because they are obsessed over it. Some will succeed, but most won’t. But, indeed, It will never be what it was. Edited August 19, 2010 by Thierro
Author deux ex machina Posted August 20, 2010 Author Posted August 20, 2010 (edited) If something shatters that has emotional value, people will do anything to put it back together even though the cracks are still visible in the end; people compromise and settle. It’s more reasonable for a lot of people to fix that what is broken in front of them, than “wait” for something new. Some will cut themselves without feeling a thing because they are obsessed over it. Some will succeed, but most won’t. But, indeed, It will never be what it was. Yes - it will never be the same once something is shattered. There are certain times that letting go is a necessity. When an unhealthy dynamic is in play that won't change, it can make a relationship unsalvageable. When it came right down to it, I had to ask myself how much more I was willing to get hurt, just how much more of myself would I lose...and if, in the end, there was anything truly healthy/sustainable to redeem. I came to the realization it would be more of the same. The quote was helpful as a reminder to let go. To stop fresh hurts, and take good care of me for awhile. I could see where it would go by staying connected, and I didn't want to get hurt anymore. It seems counterintuitive; by giving up fighting, one can win. But sometimes, that's the wisest thing to do. Edited August 20, 2010 by deux ex machina corrected quote
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