He says he loves me but has feeling for two other people =[

[NeverShoutNever]

I've been with my boyfriend on and off for about a year. The other day he told me that when he talks to his ex he sometimes gets feelings for her as well as another girl. I just want peoples advice on what to do because it really hurts knowing that this is how he's feeling when I've never felt in any way for anyone else.

[norajane]

If it is hurtful to know that he has feelings for other women, perhaps it is time for you to remove yourself from this relationship. He is being honest with you about how he feels, and he is entitled to his own feelings and there is nothing you can actually do to stop him from having feelings.

 

If you are unhappy, consider how unhappy you are and whether it's time to move on. Relationships aren't supposed to make you hurt and unhappy.

[lordWilhelm]

He's putting himself intentionally in the situation where he can develop and act on the feelings towards his ex. If he was truly committed to your relationship he wouldn't be talking to her especially if he senses he still has feelings.

 

I don't know about you, but from what you describe he doesn't sound very caring or mature, and hasn't exactly moved on from his previous relationship (you didn't mention anything about the second woman so I won't comment on that).

 

The best thing you can do is talk to him about it. Where is he coming from with this and what does that mean for you? Then you can start thinking about what to do next.

[pandagirl]

Well, I think when you are in a relationship, it isn't uncommon to develop crushes on other people. Most of the time, they are harmless.

 

But seeing that you have been off-and-on it tells that you relationship isn't very stable anyway. He needs to make a choice. If he really is that confused, then maybe you should just let him go. You deserve better!

[edgeofdarkness]

why dont u find 2 people you fancy then tell him the same, see what he says.

[lala82]

He is so immature; he does not know what he wants. Just ignore him, do not show him that you being hurt. A couple of years ago I had a similar experience like you with a clown who told me the same. The best thing that you can do is do not be in touch with him. If you continue to speak with him it means that you are following his silly games.

 

Show him that you are a mature person and that you will not allow him to play with your feelings.

[CycleOfLove]

If he loves you, and likes his ex and have feelings for her,what is the point of being in a relationship? what kind of relationship is it when he likes another woman ?and especially long distance one. My advice to you is talk to him tell him exactly how you feel and how it hurts you feelings, I think it might cause some trust issues too if he keep talking to his ex while having feelings towards her and being in a relationship with you. after you let him know exactly how you feel, leave him alone for couple of days,take a break. let him decide what he wants and who he wants.

And if he realize he wants you then get back together. ( If you will still be willing to take him back) Good luck!

[HeavenOrHell]

I wouldn't want to be with my partner if he had feelings for other people, there's no harm in finding other people attractive, we all do that, but having feelings for them is another thing altogether. My partner is close with his ex still but doesn't have those feelings towards her, more of a sister/friend now.

[madjac74]

An ex is an ex for a reason! I have a decent relationship with my ex and I consider her a friend but mostly I get along with her because she is my baby mama. Of course I have feelings for her and I know my GF is still friends with her ex but those feelings have changed. If they havent for him then you need to move on. Its unfair to you and he will likely realise why she is an ex and come crawling back to you.

[NeverShoutNever]

Thanks for all the advie everyone, it's really making everything more clearer =]