amerikajin Posted February 17, 2004 Posted February 17, 2004 Okay, LS hotties! I've been putting a lot of thought lately into fine-tuning my approach to women. One of the biggest stumbling blocks is the classic first conversation. So I come to you for help. Think back to the times when you were turned on by the guys you've dated. What did they talk about? How did they do it? What made you want to listen more? Describe what they talked about. Their delivery. The expressions on their face. It's not that I've been doing badly. I just want to do better. Tips appreciated.
wiseOLDman Posted February 17, 2004 Posted February 17, 2004 amerikajin, sorry I'm not one of the ladies. But I'll make a suggestion since there haven't been any responses yet. Talk about what interests you and who you are; ask about what interests the lady, and be yourself- good, bad, ugly or indifferent. People can hide between 1-2-3-4 dates, but sooner or later the real you has going to come thru. So you might as well cut thru all the BS right up front and find someone who accepts you for you.
SoleMate Posted February 17, 2004 Posted February 17, 2004 Think back to the times when you were turned on by the guys you've dated. What did they talk about? Themselves, me, other people, books, movies, politics, current events, cooking, gardening, travel, home repairs, work, business, the economy, philosophy, the differences between men and women, love, sex, family life, childhood, architecture... How did they do it? Huh? What made you want to listen more? Them listening to me. A good exchange where we are each responding to the other. Their delivery. Well, coherence and intelligence help here, as well as having something to say. The expressions on their face. Smiles. A nice smile for almost everyone and a really special, beaming smile for me. Thoughtful expressions. Serious looks. Never a grimace or scowl. amerikajin, your post didn't make it clear that you see conversation as a two-way street. If you want to be known as a brilliant conversationalist, get ready to spend 80% of the time listening. Just listen REAL good. And make sure you have enough in your life to talk about if there is a lull...
silk_sword Posted February 17, 2004 Posted February 17, 2004 ok sorry, but this has nothing to do with the thread. wiseOLDman, y does your avatar just keep getting sexier and sexier?? lol
Author amerikajin Posted February 17, 2004 Author Posted February 17, 2004 Thanks, Sole Mate! >>>What did they talk about? Themselves, me, other people, books, movies, politics, current events, cooking, gardening, travel, home repairs, work, business, the economy, philosophy, the differences between men and women, love, sex, family life, childhood, architecture... <<< I know what you're saying. This probably sounds like "no s***" stuff, but I think it's one of the most difficult things for me (and I dare say a lot of other guys) to do. I've noticed that there are some guys who really seem to have technique in this department (and I'm not talking about bagging babes for the night). What I mean is that regardless of the situation, there are some guys who always seem to captivate a woman's attention. Unfortunately, I'm not one of those guys. I'm not saying this to downgrade myself, and I generally don't suffer from self esteem issues. It's just that I'm not really an outgoing guy. I've always had the attitude that I'm going to be patient and wait for chemistry to form between me and someone else....and there are times when I feel like I'm waiting too long. So, I've decided I want to do something about it. I've decided that I want to be a better conversationalist, but to be honest, small talk has never been my game. I've always relied on my appearance (not to brag, but I'm considered by most of the women I've met to be either handsome or cute) to get someone's attention. It's keeping it that I've had trouble with. I'm a deep guy. I've always been the kind of guy who has surprised women with how deep and perceptive I can be. Sometimes, though, I think I'm too deep below the surface and that I need to come up for air more often. I'm trying to figure out how. And you're right: conversation involves both talking AND listening.
tattoomytoe Posted February 17, 2004 Posted February 17, 2004 amerikajin, your post didn't make it clear that you see conversation as a two-way street. If you want to be known as a brilliant conversationalist, get ready to spend 80% of the time listening. Just listen REAL good. And make sure you have enough in your life to talk about if there is a lull... And with the listening, try to remember things she says, so you can kinda reword it back to her, i like that in conversation, that way i know the person is actually listening and remembering.
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