aeion Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 its been 3 weeks since she broke up with me to be with someone else.She gave me the i love you but im not IN love with you now and that im still her best friend BS. Needless to say NC was a must. Ive been working out and hanging with friends, even had a couple dates... but i just miss her so damn much. I hate to think that i was TOO nice or TOO accomadating when in reality i was busting my a$$ just to see her as often as i was, and she knew it. Im troubled by how different of a person she seems to be in my eyes and it literally feels like the real girl was replaced by her indifferent twin. All i can think of is how she claims to be going through so much internally and she thinks she needs to get to know herself... so she does that by dating someone else? what? We were together for a year and a half and everything was great or so i thought, where did it go wrong? we had some bumps but i thought that drama made u stronger not weaker. She started her own "professional" FB invited all of my friends, her friends and acquaintances but not me. (I hate that "people you may know feature" cuz thats how i found out). Part of me feels like its so she can talk to this new guy w/o feeling guilty about me maybe seeing it. What bothers me is that i was so ready to give up our relationship and just be friends with her, but as soon as i get back from a 2 week trip totally rejuvenated she wants to get back together crying, begging me, apologizing... i took her back just to be dumped 2 weeks later for someone else. i feel like i was a parachute to slow her fall until she got to the next guy. Im just lost right now, this is going to be such a long tunnel to get through... Thanks for letting me vent I thought i was doing so well until week 3... jeez i feel like i have a long way to go.
Don Ho Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 Aeion, you're doing fine bro. The emotions just go up and down. I bet you noticed that in the past few weeks the frequency of those feelings is diminshing. It's always difficult to accept. I think you were probably TOO nice to her and too accommodating. That's ok, just keep that in mind with the next woman. She probably broke up with you because you became less of a challenge, more of a pussy and therefore less interesting. Don't do that with future women either. You'll be ok. Stop banging your head on the wall. Keep going out and do what you've been doing. It will get better.
Author aeion Posted August 19, 2010 Author Posted August 19, 2010 I just wanted to give this girl the world. She was the only chick ive ever dated who i knew i would do anything for. I just cant see myself opening up that way again.. i had to deal with much this year (losing my best friend to a drunk driver) and huge life altering decisions when it came to my career... and i feel like im tackling all of this alone. at 20.
AbeFroman Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 I'm about 15 years older than you, but I'm in an eerily similar situation. You're not alone. That much I know. Chances are, you're probably surrounded by people who deeply love and care about you-- you're probably just impervious to it, because so much of your energies are focused on your ex. It's unbelievably hard to be objective and optimistic when you're dealing with such intense heartache, but I'm willing to bet just about anything that you have ALL KINDS of amazing people in your corner. They're just not *her*. I know this woman is profoundly important to you, but she's only one human being. Great as she may be, you cannot let a single individual's apathy bring you down. There are nearly 7 *BILLION* people on Earth, and though there is no one quite like her, it's RIDICULOUS to think that she's the only one that will ever love you, the only one you'll ever feel a connection with. If nothing else, the law of large numbers should tell you that there are literally THOUSANDS of women who will be ALL OVER a guy like you. She may be the woman you love right now, and she may be utterly amazing. But the odds are INSANELY stacked in your favor to meet someone just as nice, just as special, just as wonderful... with one HUGE exception-- none of 'em broke your heart. It sounds like you've been through a lot-- and you're STILL HERE, still alive. That says A LOT about you. You're WAY stronger than you think you are. Please don't let any one person make you forget that. 20 years old is far, far too young to think you've romantically peaked. Trust me, dude. You HAVEN'T. Hang in there.
Author aeion Posted August 21, 2010 Author Posted August 21, 2010 That really means a lot. I love my friends and family to death, and without them i would have fallen down a very dark path. Im just so sad that in the process of all of this i lost 2 best friends. I miss the friendship o the ex most of all, but now i feel like even if/when i get over her, i wont be able to even want to be friends, knowing what i know now. Maybe ill feel differently later but idk. in total honesty this site has been the best since its ppl sharing in a feeling like mine. I guess thats why i feel like im dealing alone, everyone else started to find their new relationships while im mourning the loss of mine...
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