Regularguy13 Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 Somebody Please Tell me What to do?...i'll tell u my problem well there's this girl i love she takes care of me and she loves me for the loser that i am...and this has been the best relationship that i've ever been in...i told her all my mistakes all the girls i've been with and everything i've done in my life before we started going out...and she had lied to me about her past then...7 months later that's now she tells me...and i'm devastated...she told me that she got raped when she was in her 9th grade...i was torn completely i din't know what to do...it happend 5 years ago and she's almost completely over it but i'm not...i keep crying and i feel soooo miserable...i can't seem to shake this feeling it's sooooo painful ...and then she opens up and tells me about her ex boyfriends...which she never told me about...evn when i asked her about her past she had always lied...now she tells me and i feel betrayed i dunno why...i love her...and i want to trust her...but now when i see her i see all her ex's all over her...and some guy raping her....it's killing me...i want to help her...she's over it....but because of me she's hurting...i dunno what to do...we tried talking we tried listening we tried it all....i just aint healing somebody please tell me...will i trust her again???...will this feeling go??...will i stop seeing these flashes of her and her ex making out etc.... PLEASE THIS IS A CRY FOR HELP...
GrayClouds Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 PLEASE THIS IS A CRY FOR HELP... What you need to focus on how much she much care and trust you to be as honest and intimate as she is with you. She held back this information because she was afraid you would handle it poorly. Prove her wrong and prove to yourself your not a looser. As bad as you think this is for you, how do you think it is for her. I suggest you find a professional to help you work your thoughts through and it may be good that both of you do some similar work together. Remember showing love is not how you behave when things are good, real love is how you behave when things gets hard. She your girlfriend love. You really should be thinking how can you make her feel secure and cared for, trust the more you do that the better you will feel.
cookie2 Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 GC is absolutely right. You can't expect her to reveal those sort of things at the start of a relationship. It must've taken all of her courage and trust to tell you those things. You should not feel betrayed, you should feel honoured that she trusts you so much to share her most painful memories and experiences.
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