TheUnthoughtKnown Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 So today wasn't a great day. Anyone ever have those moments when it just kind of sneaks up on you? The last week or so I've been feelin up and down more than usual, probably because I bumped into the ex on Friday. I spent Saturday and Sunday utterly pissed off and sick of everything, desperate to go out and drink myself into a stupor yet the lack of funds made me spiral into a depression because I felt then powerless to help myself, then Monday came around and my mood swung up. I'm not sure why, I just had this lovely little moment of "clarity" where I thought "Hey, I don't f*cking need her. I'm a good guy. I did a lot for her. Why should I feel like sh*t?!" Tuesday came and I'm at a gig with a friend. This girl walks by wearing this Panda Bear hat. Anyone know what I'm talkin about? Its this hat with ears on it, and its got a kinda panda face on it. Anyways my ex had one. She was the first I'd ever seen wearing it and I remembering commenting it was quite cute. I've also got several pictures I still spend ages staring at of us together at the beginning when we were all kissy and huggy an stuff (my friends have threated to burn them if they see me lookin at them again, so they're well hidden), and she's wearing that hat in almost all of them. Anyways I see this girl with the hat and just like that I'm back 5 or 6 months ago (f*ck...I can't believe its been that long) when she and I were together and everything made sense. I feel lost now. I'm sick of bouncing back and forward between feeling happy and accepting, to feeling like I wanna crawl into bed and just stay there. For the first time ever today I've considered therapy. I hate the thought that she's driven me to seek professional help coz I know for a fact she's not suffering an 8th as much as I am. And I come from the kind of working class, traditional catholic Irish family who think therapy is a cause of embarrassment and weakness. So I'm not sure if thats the route to go down. But I need to stop this...I mean, a hat? Seriously, a f*cking hat?! What next? I wanna jump off a bridge coz I see a girl with a pair of socks?! This is unacceptable, I cannot keep doing this...
LostInTurn Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 So today wasn't a great day. Anyone ever have those moments when it just kind of sneaks up on you? The last week or so I've been feelin up and down more than usual, probably because I bumped into the ex on Friday. I spent Saturday and Sunday utterly pissed off and sick of everything, desperate to go out and drink myself into a stupor yet the lack of funds made me spiral into a depression because I felt then powerless to help myself, then Monday came around and my mood swung up. I'm not sure why, I just had this lovely little moment of "clarity" where I thought "Hey, I don't f*cking need her. I'm a good guy. I did a lot for her. Why should I feel like sh*t?!" Tuesday came and I'm at a gig with a friend. This girl walks by wearing this Panda Bear hat. Anyone know what I'm talkin about? Its this hat with ears on it, and its got a kinda panda face on it. Anyways my ex had one. She was the first I'd ever seen wearing it and I remembering commenting it was quite cute. I've also got several pictures I still spend ages staring at of us together at the beginning when we were all kissy and huggy an stuff (my friends have threated to burn them if they see me lookin at them again, so they're well hidden), and she's wearing that hat in almost all of them. Anyways I see this girl with the hat and just like that I'm back 5 or 6 months ago (f*ck...I can't believe its been that long) when she and I were together and everything made sense. I feel lost now. I'm sick of bouncing back and forward between feeling happy and accepting, to feeling like I wanna crawl into bed and just stay there. For the first time ever today I've considered therapy. I hate the thought that she's driven me to seek professional help coz I know for a fact she's not suffering an 8th as much as I am. And I come from the kind of working class, traditional catholic Irish family who think therapy is a cause of embarrassment and weakness. So I'm not sure if thats the route to go down. But I need to stop this...I mean, a hat? Seriously, a f*cking hat?! What next? I wanna jump off a bridge coz I see a girl with a pair of socks?! This is unacceptable, I cannot keep doing this... Hi! Yes, I had that happen last night! I was ok for a couple days, and then BAM... done. I'm miserable and all I want to do is call and cry. It's a wonder how the small things can make us remember something and send us into a tail spin. It's common and it happens to many of us. Those thoughts will pass. As for counseling. If you have considered counseling, and you feel it would help you, then that's what matters. Counseling sessions are confidential. If you have your own insurance, you may feel better about seeking counseling. Even if you have insurance through your family, your sessions are still confidential. You need to take care of yourself. What ever method that may be, follow up. As for the pictures. Tuck them away. I moved all the pictures I had to a separate folder with all my pictures, so when I look through pictures they're not right there and I freak out.
Author TheUnthoughtKnown Posted August 18, 2010 Author Posted August 18, 2010 Hi! Yes, I had that happen last night! I was ok for a couple days, and then BAM... done. I'm miserable and all I want to do is call and cry. It's a wonder how the small things can make us remember something and send us into a tail spin. It's common and it happens to many of us. Those thoughts will pass. As for counseling. If you have considered counseling, and you feel it would help you, then that's what matters. Counseling sessions are confidential. If you have your own insurance, you may feel better about seeking counseling. Even if you have insurance through your family, your sessions are still confidential. You need to take care of yourself. What ever method that may be, follow up. As for the pictures. Tuck them away. I moved all the pictures I had to a separate folder with all my pictures, so when I look through pictures they're not right there and I freak out. I'm not really sure of the proper channels to go through when considering therapy. The obvious thing would be to go my doctor but...there's something that feels so weird about it, I just don't feel right. I guess I was raised to feel that its weakness to share feelings or have emotions. My dads that kinda guy, he's a stone wall when it comes to stuff like that. Yeah I know I really should throw away those pics but I feel they're all I have now. I cannot stop staring at them sometimes...
ShannonMI Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 I feel for you because I'm going through the same thing right now. I have ok days and then I have really crappy days where all I want to do is cry and lay in bed. Its all part of the healing process. As for therapy, you shouldn't consider it a weakness. It takes a lot of strength to want to help yourself and actually seek the help. You want to feel better and help yourself. That's a great thing! That's something you should feel good about. Therapy helps you sort out your emotions and it helps put things into prospective. Don't feel embarrassed or weak about it. You talked about drinking yourself into a stupor. Although thats sounds appealing, don't do it. Alcohol is a depressant and while you may feel good while your drunk, you will still feel awful later on. Best of luck to you.
ShannonMI Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 I'm not really sure of the proper channels to go through when considering therapy. The obvious thing would be to go my doctor but...there's something that feels so weird about it, I just don't feel right. I guess I was raised to feel that its weakness to share feelings or have emotions. My dads that kinda guy, he's a stone wall when it comes to stuff like that. Yeah I know I really should throw away those pics but I feel they're all I have now. I cannot stop staring at them sometimes... You are not your Dad! Just becasue he's a stone wall doesn't meant you have to be the same way. You are your own person with your own feelings. Don't feel ashamed about seeking help. Probably the best way to find a therapist would be to go to your doctor and they can refer you to someone.
LostInTurn Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 You don't need to see your Primary Care Physician if you want to seek counseling. There are different levels of counselors too. An LICSW cannot prescribe medication, a Phd typically can. The only reason a therapist would need to / or you would need to communicate your seeing a therapist to your Primary Care is if you are being prescribed medication, but let's not get ahead of ourselves. Your insurance probably has a website. From there, you can search for therapists in your area. Or you can call the number on your insurance card. You shouldn't feel guilty about seeking therapy. I understand you may have been raised a certain way, but when it comes to your emotions and well being, if you're considering counseling, you should look into it. Just because you meet with a therapist, does not mean that you have to agree to additional counseling sessions. You may go to your first session and sit in silence, you may just cry or you may talk for the entire session. Do yourself a favor and go. P.S. You don't need to tell anyone in your family you're going. You have 'errands'
witabix Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 So today wasn't a great day. Anyone ever have those moments when it just kind of sneaks up on you? The last week or so I've been feelin up and down more than usual, probably because I bumped into the ex on Friday. I spent Saturday and Sunday utterly pissed off and sick of everything, desperate to go out and drink myself into a stupor yet the lack of funds made me spiral into a depression because I felt then powerless to help myself, then Monday came around and my mood swung up. I'm not sure why, I just had this lovely little moment of "clarity" where I thought "Hey, I don't f*cking need her. I'm a good guy. I did a lot for her. Why should I feel like sh*t?!" Tuesday came and I'm at a gig with a friend. This girl walks by wearing this Panda Bear hat. Anyone know what I'm talkin about? Its this hat with ears on it, and its got a kinda panda face on it. Anyways my ex had one. She was the first I'd ever seen wearing it and I remembering commenting it was quite cute. I've also got several pictures I still spend ages staring at of us together at the beginning when we were all kissy and huggy an stuff (my friends have threated to burn them if they see me lookin at them again, so they're well hidden), and she's wearing that hat in almost all of them. Anyways I see this girl with the hat and just like that I'm back 5 or 6 months ago (f*ck...I can't believe its been that long) when she and I were together and everything made sense. I feel lost now. I'm sick of bouncing back and forward between feeling happy and accepting, to feeling like I wanna crawl into bed and just stay there. For the first time ever today I've considered therapy. I hate the thought that she's driven me to seek professional help coz I know for a fact she's not suffering an 8th as much as I am. And I come from the kind of working class, traditional catholic Irish family who think therapy is a cause of embarrassment and weakness. So I'm not sure if thats the route to go down. But I need to stop this...I mean, a hat? Seriously, a f*cking hat?! What next? I wanna jump off a bridge coz I see a girl with a pair of socks?! This is unacceptable, I cannot keep doing this... Right boyo, I am a traditional Catholic Irishman, and I don't think that therapy is bad. I doubt you need it though, first get rid of the feckin' pictures. Stop torturing yourself fer feck's sake. That 'Monday moment' is the start of the turnaround. Next it will be a 'Monday and Tuesday moment', I think you can see where I am going with this. Six months isn't all that long, one crop of spuds, nothing. Stay away from the drink, that never solved a problem yet. As for the hat set back, I don't know what to suggest there. Yes I know this crap creeps up and slaps you around the head when you least expect it, and it will continue to do so for a good time to come. I get odd tweaks from exes three women ago, it happens. Just try to let it slide off. Best of luck man, chin up, you'll do fine. Oh and if you really think you need professional help, go get it and feck the begrudgers.
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