Should I risk it all and sacrafice just to with a guy even if he is special?

[gingerap]

There is this guy who is head over heels for me. He has all the good boyfriend traits anyone would want, and maybe even more. I guess Ive been having feelings for him lately and dont know what to do. sigh. I love my friends but they can be so fickle sometimes. They dont like him cause hes not "cool". I dont know if I can stomache anything they tell me if we got together. Not much people understand what I mean just other people in highschool. He has fuzzy eyebrows but I guess I can fix that.

Should I commit social suicide to be with him? Im afraid it wont be worth it somehow even if our relationship is good.

[befuddled11]

No offense, I recall how strong peer pressure and peer-approval can be, but re-read your post and maybe you'll see how shallow you sound.

 

So what the guy has "fuzzy eyebrows".....you think that maybe you can "CHANGE THAT"? No offense again, but who are you to think you should even consider trying to change someone's appearance? How would you like it if someone critiqued your appearance and thought you could use some changing? If you're already imagining trying to change something about his looks, best leave him be so that he can find himself a nice girl who will accept him just the way he is...which is what everyone deserves.

 

And you would be willing to pass up a potentially wonderful guy all because you don't want to deal with what your friends will have to say? What kind of friends do you have? Are they all shallow snobs who sit in judgment of others? Who the heck do they think they are, anyway?

 

Do you want to go through your life passing up wonderful people all because you want to live like an easily influenced "Sheep" who must have the approval of your friends? If so, you will surely not have a very fulfilling life.

 

True friends are people who would accept someone no matter who they choose to date, or what that person looks like. With friends like yours, who needs enemas.

[dyermaker]

Originally posted by befuddled11

If you're already imagining trying to change something about his looks, best leave him be so that he can find himself a nice girl who will accept him just the way he is...which is what everyone deserves.

That's exactly what I wanted to say, but I couldn't figure out a nice way to do so. If he's such a great guy, he deserves someone who doesn't think the way you do about him.

with friends like yours, who needs enemas.

That's going on my answering machine.

[gingerap]

I completely agree that he should go for someone who will accept him as he is, but thats not what he wants. He wants me so bad that he is already changing things about himself so I will like him. This I know is stupid, but I cant make him see it. If he doesnt want what he deserves, then why not at least consider giving him what he wants? My friend is into him a lot and he thinks shes great too, but he wont date her because he wants me. sigh

[Darkangelism]

You don't deserve him, accept him for him or don't at all, dont try to change him.

[dyermaker]

No guy deserves a girlfriend who is with him to make him happy. You're not into him, you're kinda into the way he's behaving. Tell him what you told us, if he has any self-respect he'll not want to be with someone who doesn't really like him.

 

You're not going to have a successful relationship with someone whom you don't want to be in a relationship with.

[gingerap]

I have told him many times. He actually asks me what he can do, that hell do anything, to get me to like him. Im not cruel, so I dont tell him anything to change. I would never do that because I know he would do it. I think your right he does have a lack of self respect, but I cant and wont ditch him because of it. I think I do want to be in a relationship with him, it wouldnt be healthy for him or me. Its a big sacrafice on both parts.

[mrlogic]

Just how special is he?

[dyermaker]

The thing is, he's special, he's just not special to you.

 

Recognize the distinction and allow him to have a relationship with a girl who wants to be in a relationship with him.

[mfrmboy]

If you dont think that a relationship between the two of you would work then set him up with your friend.

Now if all he needs is to fix those eyebrows I dont see where that's a big deal.

I know alot of men who get help with their eyebrows.

I see alot of guy's who need alot more help than that!

Ever watch queer eye?

[Zorro]

I feel sorry for you. Your posts are screaming with insecurity and a need to tell others that you are wanted. Don't worry - your guy will soon get over you - all of us usually obsess over some needy head-case at some point - and get some help for yourself.

[morrigan]

You need to tell him you are not at all interested in him. Let him find someone else who will appreciate him as a whole person.

[Arabess]

Maybe you just want a boyfriend.

 

The problem is...if you aren't really into this guy....you are going to lead him on and then end up dumping him once a 'more acceptable' version comes along. It happens all the time. Then this poor guy who has a crush on you....will be left with his same fuzzy eye-brows and a broken heart to boot.

 

If he's a 'nice' guy....but he doesn't float your boat or fit into your social group....don't play him. It's not fair. Wait on a guy who you really want to be with.

[theedge]

Big mistake!!! I agree with the other posters. I was once that guy a long time ago. I wasn't the physical match she was looking for and agreed to change for her. Well ya know what?..........After every possible change she could have made, in the end she still wasn't physically attracted to me. To be young and gulible again, how I miss it.

 

So, do you want to put this guy through this? Make him someone he isn't and then break the news to him he still isn't what you want? Hell probably the smart thing to do is walk away because more than likely he is going to be glued to you and not searching for someone who does care just about him in general.