Confusedalways Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 Alright. My last thread I described running into this guy on the daily at starbucks who is so super cute, and we chat just about every weekday morning. It was mostly about the weather and so on and so forth. Then it got to "oh you went to so and so HS... do you know ___" Etc. We've progressed in our talks and so I inquired if he was seeing anyone. His response was, "hahaha, no, sadly I'm single" Over analyzing aside, wouldn't that question basically tip a man off that I am interested? I chat him up every single day so I mean-- men aren't THAT bad at taking hints... right? Men : would you think daily chatting/ inquiring about that sort of thing is hint enough a girl is interested? Ladies: any further tips or suggestions?? I don't want to ask him out- so is it just a waiting game? I mean it's cool if he's not interested, but I definitely will not be the one to ask him out. Just totally not my style.
phineas Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 Some women flirt & drop hints when their interested. Some women flirt & drop hints when their not. If he isn't making a move he is probably trying to figure out which type you are or not interested. Just ask him to do something.
Feelin Frisky Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 ...Men : would you think daily chatting/ inquiring about that sort of thing is hint enough a girl is interested?... Yep. That's why that dip shi+ is sadly single. He's either kicking himself in the @ss now for missing that que or dumpy-dinking along unaware.
good_vibes Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 I think they are bad, but imo if a guy is really interested he won't need a lot of hints. I would just keep going along as normal and not worry about it. But the main thing is if he was interested he would ask (or would have already).
Ilovecake Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 (edited) Are you the one who's initiating most of these conversations? It sounds to me like he might not be interested. I mean the normal response form an adult who is interested and single would be to say 'yes I'm single how about you?'. Him laughing before giving you the answer indicates some level of discomfort talking about his relationship status with you. Edited August 18, 2010 by Ilovecake
Author Confusedalways Posted August 18, 2010 Author Posted August 18, 2010 Are you the one who's initiating most of these conversations? It sounds to me like he might not be interested. I mean the normal response form an adult who is interested and single would be to say 'yes I'm single how about you?'. [FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]Him laughing before giving you the answer indicates some level of discomfort talking about his relationship status with you. [/sIZE][/FONT] It's not like he's standing there and I like, tap him on the shoulder to talk or something, hahaha. It's more like a mutual greeting, questions back and forth etc. Imagine you're at a store and see someone you know, kind of like a mutual greeting/ conv if you know what I mean? I guess you're right about the laughter. He's very clearly shy, I wonder if that has anything to do with it? Oh, well. On to the next , I guess?
espec10001 Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 Coming from a guy's perspective, it doesn't sound like he's interested. As a guy, if I'm chatting with a girl and she's asking if I'm seeing anyone that's a dead give away. If I'm into her that's green light to proceed. If he's not proceeding with the CLEAR green light you gave him then there's either something wrong with him or he's just not interested.
dispatch3d Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 hahahaha he is never going to pick up on that. Hahahaha this is the typical **** woman pick up on. Hahaha ohhh you kill me. Can we have other examples of hints? I get a kick out of them, and maybe I can tell you at what point a guy is going to realize. I would have thought you were at least somewhat interested from that question. I also regularly guide things through comments like what you said to ask girls questions in subtext as I call it. Example, a friend of mine called me up to play 45's at 10:30 pm on a sunday. Wondering what the **** is going on, I asked her if she "lived here with girl2" knowing she has a boyfriend, and she replied she is going to live here when girl2 moves out...oh and her boyfriend will live there with her as well. She threw this in as an after-thought, and I was actually trying to figure out wtf was going on (is she making a pass here, is girl2 making a pass, should I make anything out of it. I managed to get it down to 50%...but anyways)....did she breakup with boyfriend? It was a less-obtrusive way of asking these things....and less-obvious...
dispatch3d Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 basically, most guys don't read into **** like I do. Like 90% of guys don't get all tricky like I do needling for information....
meerkat stew Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 OP he doesn't seem interested. When a friendly woman asks a man if he is seeing anyone, and he is interested, he -will- ask for her phone number or ask her out on the spot unless there's something socially or mentally wrong with him.
kalikula Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 It sounds like he's not interested.... That's a pretty obvious hint. And if he's so clueless he doesn't even ask if you are single or ask for your number, then you don't even wanna be dating someone so socially retarded IMO. (Sorry to the guy who said he wouldn't get that but COME ON lol)
dispatch3d Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 I'm a guy. It's not obvious. Guys aren't perceptive like woman are. If you want to date a woman you can become a lesbian. Don't next a guy for being "socially retarded" when most guys don't pickup on minihints like you're giving. This doesn't show anything in the context of a guy. If a girl didn't pickup that hint then yes.... she may be socially retarded. It's a different scale.
Left in a Lurch Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 I've talked to some women casually like this and very often she eventually mentions her boyfriend or husband. Yeah, why is it when this happens 49 straight times, somehow the guy is at fault for not assuming the 50th time she is trying to get him to ask her out?
good_vibes Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 I still don't think he's interested. You asked him if he's seeing anyone, he didn't reply... did he ask you if you were seeing anyone? Also, if you guys talk regularly and he hasn't asked you out yet, sorry but imo he's not interested. Not like he hasn't had ample opportunity. Overall, I think if anyone has to ask, "Is this guy interested in me?" It's time to move on to the next guy who actually is.
carhill Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 (edited) Men : would you think daily chatting/ inquiring about that sort of thing is hint enough a girl is interested?No woman has ever asked me if I were single. I'd have to be comatose not to act on that kind of inquiry 'Not for long, if you want to go to dinner tonight with me' All that said, super-cute guys move in a different universe, one more similar to women, where they kinda sit back and bask in the attention and select from the desired potentials in accordance with their whim of the moment Edited August 18, 2010 by carhill
good_vibes Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 He doesn't even know if she is single or interested. Maybe he is and maybe he isn't. That's why I said "did he ask you if you were seeing anyone?"
jadedone Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 Women complain that men can't take a hint when they ignore our calls and texts, then wonder why we don't pick up on their subtle hints that they are interested. Simple answer: we have no clue what you are trying to accomplish.
kalikula Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 (edited) There's nothing subtle about asking if he's single, it's pretty straightforward. Besides which he should be asking her if she's single or asking her out, he could have asked her taken the opportunity to ask for her number. Since he hasn't done that yet I think he's either uninterested or maybe gay. Most guys who ARE actively dating aren't that clueless because they're pursuing or approaching women.. Almost every guy I've been interested in has gotten the hint that I'm interested in them by flirting, and either did something about it or ignored it because they weren't interested. If he was interested he would have flirted back and asked if SHE was single: If he likes you then he would want to know more about you and whether you are available. (Not to sound harsh of course I just don't think he's as clueless as everyone says) Edited August 19, 2010 by kalikula
alphamale Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 Men : would you think daily chatting/ inquiring about that sort of thing is hint enough a girl is interested? if he doesn't get that hint then you don't want to be with him, he's a clod
dispatch3d Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 There's nothing subtle about asking if he's single, it's pretty straightforward. Besides which he should be asking her if she's single or asking her out, he could have asked her taken the opportunity to ask for her number. Since he hasn't done that yet I think he's either uninterested or maybe gay. Most guys who ARE actively dating aren't that clueless because they're pursuing or approaching women.. Almost every guy I've been interested in has gotten the hint that I'm interested in them by flirting, and either did something about it or ignored it because they weren't interested. If he was interested he would have flirted back and asked if SHE was single: If he likes you then he would want to know more about you and whether you are available. (Not to sound harsh of course I just don't think he's as clueless as everyone says) I dunno. I flirt with girls because I find it entertaining. Girls do the same in my experience. I don't even think girls flirting with guys is a sign they are interested.... They could just be doing it because it's fun.
Author Confusedalways Posted August 19, 2010 Author Posted August 19, 2010 Wow. It's actually interesting that even the men are disagreeing! I really don't know if this helps- but he seems really, really shy and definitely not the type to be crazily flirting uselessly. I'd venture a guess he's probably the type that doesn't get many girls chasing after him. Anyway--- I guess this doesn't really help me one way or another, but I love all the different opinions!!
Author Confusedalways Posted August 19, 2010 Author Posted August 19, 2010 No woman has ever asked me if I were single. I'd have to be comatose not to act on that kind of inquiry 'Not for long, if you want to go to dinner tonight with me' All that said, super-cute guys move in a different universe, one more similar to women, where they kinda sit back and bask in the attention and select from the desired potentials in accordance with their whim of the moment I actually don't think many women would find him cute- there's just something about him!! I will have to see where it takes me, I guess!
jamesum Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 Wow. It's actually interesting that even the men are disagreeing! I really don't know if this helps- but he seems really, really shy and definitely not the type to be crazily flirting uselessly. I'd venture a guess he's probably the type that doesn't get many girls chasing after him. Anyway--- I guess this doesn't really help me one way or another, but I love all the different opinions!! I thought you said he is super cute? Anyway, its hard for us to give opinions because we cant see the guy. If he seems really shy then why wont you ask him out?
Author Confusedalways Posted August 19, 2010 Author Posted August 19, 2010 I thought you said he is super cute? Anyway, its hard for us to give opinions because we cant see the guy. If he seems really shy then why wont you ask him out? Well *I* certainly think he is! But I don't think an average girl would, which makes it all the better for me! I won't ask him out because I'm afraid to!
carhill Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 OP, question: When he responded 'hahaha, no, sadly I'm single', what was his tone? His expression? His body language? These are all social cues. I could say that same line, whilst leaning forward, with a little twinkle in my eye and almost whisper it. Do you get my meaning? That's a far different dynamic than a monotone or saying it whilst glancing away. Are you seeing the social cues here? Analyze for yourself. I was a shy guy. Hell I was a virgin until my mid-30's. Women didn't 'hit on' me. But, even I understood the essentials of such interpersonal interactions. When I engaged a woman whom I found attractive, even if just on a 'friendly' level, I engaged her, with my eyes, my body language, my tone of voice. I was shy with women romantically but confident in myself and had no trouble relating to a woman on an interpersonal level. What's your take on this guy? Analysis please
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