Gold Pile Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 I have my own washer/dryer but occasionally use the laundromat to scope out potential dates. I live in a nice area, there are some Condos and a luxury apartment complex in the neighborhood. The women there are within my preferred dating age range (18 - 80) but I seem to be outside the age range the younger ladies would like to date. My friend manages a store in the same little shopping plaza, during business hours he angles a surveillance camera toward the Laundromat. He gave me the codes so I can access the video on my computer. I hate to call this guy a friend, he's sort of an A-hole but I have to admit he's doing a good thing. When I'm bored I leave the "laundry-cam" on my screen, if I notice an attractive lady over 35 going in.... I grab the laundry (always have a load ready) and head over. I have special stuff in this load to act as conversation starters. I replaced the detergent bottle label with a colorful label with big Asian letters on it. Lots of people ask me about it. ( I know you're gonna try that one) I have a super/extra/giant pair of novelty boxers in the basket . I hold them up and express surprise ..."whoa, what the hell are these!!??" . I have 2 bras in there too. I hold up the size that matches her best and exclaim "hey how did my ex wife's stuff get in here". If the right moment presents itself I hold up leopard print speedos ..." I hope these don't shrink". Who am I kidding....when isn't it the right moment for that one? You'd think I'd score a million dates but I've only picked up 3 dates there in 5 years. I wish I thought of the special items tactics when I was as young as most of the women there. Clearly I could use advice on Laundromat pick-up techniques. Help.
meerkat stew Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 Great plan. Perhaps walk in, start your wash, and then have your cellphone ring with a very heated emotional made-up argument on the other end. After it's over, lay your head down on one of the washers and pretend to sob some. She may ask what's wrong at this point, if not, you can self start the convo by saying, "Would you do this?? I just need to know that there are women in the world who wouldn't do this!!" Then tell the following story. "The reason I'm at the laundry is every year about this time, my wife and her now husband come to my front yard and drink champagne to celebrate the day I found them having sex in our bed. He was her boss at the time, and is very wealthy, so they make a big to-do of it with one of their expensive cars and nice champagne. This has been going on for SIX YEARS!! They usually time their visit so that I am home. Sometimes they even have sex on a blanket in the front yard right behind a shrub wall but in plain view from inside the house. I never did anything wrong, and let her go peacefully, yet they torment me as if I'm the bad guy because I found them in our bed. He has "friends in high places" at the police departments, so there's nothing I can do. Would you do this?? Could any human being do this??" This would lead into having a drink later as you are terrified they are still there doing it in your front yard.
WintersNightTraveler Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 Clearly I could use advice on Laundromat pick-up techniques. Help. Get some software that supports video analytics and have it pop up an alert automatically when motion detection is activated on the video feed. This should increase your date rate at least 37%. Or at least, this is what I tell my clients. Also, arrive in visbily dirty clothing, and loudly exclaim, "whoa, just in the nick of time!" as you undress and load the clothes into the washer. This should assure them that you are indeed there to wash dirty clothing, and didn't just throw a bunch of clean stuff in the hamper in order to meet today's laundromat blonde. In addition, you get to show off what you're packing. It's important that women feel you are not running some kind of game on them, and also that they know you have fully developed male genitalia. That Asian lettering bit is solid though. Bravo.
deux ex machina Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 Taking the bras out of the special items you keep in the basket would probably be a good idea. Leopard print speedos, though? By all means, keep them in. I can see where you're going with that, and I like it.
WintersNightTraveler Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 Then tell the following story. "The reason I'm at the laundry is every year about this time, my wife and her now husband come to my front yard bed and drink champagne to celebrate the day I found them having sex in our bed front yard. Here, now this is A+ advice.
Feelin Frisky Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 Quit all the shuckin' and jivin' with the speedos and whatnot. Just go to your quarry and say "nice day for doin' laundy". I've said such things as "nice day for fruits and vegtables" at the produce shop to potentials. They all got the message I'm pretty sure. Some are quick and some not so much or just not into it with me. Such is life. Just gotta keep feelin' frisky.
Art_Critic Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 (always have a load ready) Don't we all After it's over, lay your head down on one of the washers and pretend to sob some. She may ask what's wrong at this point, and you say "I just found out my brother just died".. I could really use someone to talk to right about now "would you mind going for a drink ?"
AverageJoe Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 You could always try to insert gold bullion coins into one of the machines, fumble and drop a few then hope one will roll up to the feet of your intended prospect. An excellent conversation starter. With practice this method can be mastered.
Author Gold Pile Posted August 19, 2010 Author Posted August 19, 2010 Get some software that supports video analytics and have it pop up an alert automatically when motion detection is activated on the video feed. This should increase your date rate at least 37%. Or at least, this is what I tell my clients. Also, arrive in visbily dirty clothing, and loudly exclaim, "whoa, just in the nick of time!" as you undress and load the clothes into the washer. This should assure them that you are indeed there to wash dirty clothing, and didn't just throw a bunch of clean stuff in the hamper in order to meet today's laundromat blonde. In addition, you get to show off what you're packing. It's important that women feel you are not running some kind of game on them, and also that they know you have fully developed male genitalia. That Asian lettering bit is solid though. Bravo. Well I wouldn't undress but laundry day might give me an excuse to be wearing a tanktop and those super tight bicycle shorts. Maybe keeping an extra pair of socks in my shorts for volume.
Gallaxia Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 All good Gold Pile, but may I suggest engaging the women more? Say, walking up to them and saying (with your hand out) "I have a roll of quarters, are you happy to see me?" If she isn't, take your basket & fabric softener to the next prospect. So much laundry, so little time.
D-Lish Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 You need to go to a thrift store and buy a bunch of really old pairs of pants that have that "HUGE" wallet imprint in the back right pocket. Just keep holding them up as you fold. No need to even say anything.
Hot Carl Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 You need to go to a thrift store and buy a bunch of really old pairs of pants that have that "HUGE" wallet imprint in the back right pocket. Just keep holding them up as you fold. No need to even say anything. I don't know about that. That could just as easily indicate he carries lots of 1's and can't get a credit card.
D-Lish Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 I don't know about that. That could just as easily indicate he carries lots of 1's and can't get a credit card. Might fool an illegal though... It might be mistaken for a taco imprint- which could prove beneficial?
Author Gold Pile Posted August 19, 2010 Author Posted August 19, 2010 (edited) Perhaps old jeans with imprints from rolls of 25 cent coins. Someone mentioned flashing gold coins around. Y'all got some funny ideas, but some useful ones now. Edited August 19, 2010 by Gold Pile spelling
Author Gold Pile Posted August 19, 2010 Author Posted August 19, 2010 Just go to your quarry and say "nice day for doin' laundy". You're a genuis !!! I'l lgive that a try.
BobSacamento Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 I'd probably always "forget" dryer sheets. Then I can bum one off a hot chick and hope to start a conversation that way.
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