keane2010 Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 I appreciate the helpful advice of the last couple of posts. Hopefully, this might be the last question for others. Is it common to be in relationships where the wife (or husband) imagines and convinces herself that you are thinking something (usually negative) even though there is no reason to suspect? I'm sure its tied to insecurities, but my wife recently vented about anger that she has built for years. Crazy thing was that I didn't even do any of these things for the reason she was convinced I did. If others have had success dealing with this, I'd appreciate some feedback. As an example (and most are much more extreme), I enjoy washing dishes. Call me crazy, but I think it is a way to show her that we're in this together. I found out recently from her that I do this because I want the kids to know I'm a better parent. She firmly believes this to be the case, so she hates seeing me do the dishes. And, I don't avoid her sister because she said she was in love with me (I told my wife). Instead, I avoid her because I want to seperate my wife from her only surviving relative. I should mention that she suffers from many of the crieteria for borderline personality disorder, but her therapist does not want to diagnose, claiming that it will only make our lives harder. She does treat the symptoms. (I quit pushing the issue becuase my wife does not want a dianosis. My lawyer friend reminded me that the diagnosis could lead to disability alimony award if were divorce, despite the fact that she is functional and a nurse.)
just_some_guy Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 I think you are dealing with the BPD or other psychological issues. You say she is in therapy, are you also in therapy together? Does she recognize her condition? Perhaps joint therapy to deal with BPD as it affects the relationship may help.
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