walidtannoury Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 Dears, I will tell you my long story, and I would appreciate your feedbacks on it... I fell in love 6 years ago with a girl that I was the first guy in her life, there are religion difference which is a very sensitive issue here in Middle East... I am Christian and she is Muslim... At that time I was 25 years old and she was 22 years old... She never knew a guy before me, anyway we lived a hell of a love story (or that what i was thinking)... we made each other feel living in heaven... she was promising me that she will fight for me however i am... and i always told her the same... we spoke about the house design... the honeymoon... the kids names... and everything in the future... we had our fights, and our minor breakups which is normal in each relationship... the only hard issue between us was the religion but it was behind us as we both decided to make compromises... 2 months ago, a guy was hitting on her and i told her go out with him as im so open minded and i dont mind her going out as friends for a coffee or dinner with another guy... i wanted to test her how she will act with the first guy she sits alone with him other than me... and i was guiding her how she replies so she will make him show his intentions faster... then 3 weeks ago, she decided to breakup on the phone as i was overseas and she sat with my friends and spoke out all the problems we had between us, which my friends replied that these problems are not enough to breakup... in the same breakup phone call she told me she likes the other guy, he makes her laugh and he respects her and makes her feel like a queen and he is from her same religion Muslim... i kept calling and trying to beg her to come back for 4 days and telling her that the other guy is not your style and the things you do when you feel the world is falling around you... after the 4th day she was swearing that she is falling for him... and i started giving her space... after that ive sent her 3 or 4 emails telling her my point of view and how much she hurt me in the way she acted... and her reply that she decided she does not want me back and her love for me is fading, when she used to tell me i could never love a guy other than u... im sure of myself that she will never ever find a guy ready to treat her the way i did... i used to get her everything she looks at and she likes before asking for it... i made all my friends love her the way i love her... i came back to the country and by luck yesterday i met her next to a coffee shop going down with that guy... i asked her lets sit and discuss and she was saying no need and ull make it harder on me... finally i was also trying to fix things and she said... no i took my decision... i love you but not like before... i was acting little childish in our meeting but because i had so many things in front of me falling and its by luck i could meet her to discuss... the other guy was waiting for us outside... then she tells me that she loves him and she swears about it... and that also she can see him the father of her children... where he is not totally her style... somehow 70% he is different than me... when she told me she loves him.... i hugged her and i kept trying my chance... i kissed her on her face asked her to take care and asked her to laugh... then i told him congrats... she loves you take good care of her... i left and she called my friend and she was telling him that the other guy was acting as a gentleman and i was acting childish and she is sure now that she doesnt want me and that she loves the other guy... and ive sent her an email today telling her that im relieved finally and really i started feeling better after knowing that shes not worth it and i told her ur not worth it to love someone in 2 weeks after 5.5 years of great love... my questions are: - can love come this fast? - is she rebounding? - is it healthy for her? - can 5.5 years of love disappear this easily? i would appreciate your feedbacks guys...
goodgrief Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 I fell in love 6 years ago with a girl .... and ive sent her an email today telling her that im relieved finally and really i started feeling better after knowing that shes not worth it and i told her ur not worth it to love someone in 2 weeks after 5.5 years of great love... You may have been with her for 5.5 years, but you fell in love with her 6 years ago. It's possible that you fell in love with her almost as soon as you started dating her. So it is by no means impossible that she fell out of love with you a while back, and actually has fallen in love with this guy, just as quickly as you did with her..... TIME makes no difference to a heart filled with longing. It could take minutes.... my questions are: - can love come this fast? Yes. - is she rebounding? What if she is? you're broken up, right? What business is it of yours? - is it healthy for her? Doesn't matter....He's Muslim, she's Muslim... there's a stronger compatibility, right there.... - can 5.5 years of love disappear this easily? Yes, believe it or not, it can. It might even have started far longer ago than you think. i would appreciate your feedbacks guys... Sorry, if what I say seems harsh. But different religions, where Islam is concerned, are never going to work, if the Muslim is a devoted one....
boltsfan17 Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 First of all, why would you tell your girlfriend to go out with a guy that was hitting on her? I understand you are open minded, but this guy wasn't some friend. He was obviously interested in her. I would never let my girlfriend do that. I don't mind if it's a guy friend she's known for a while, but I think that's crossing the line in my opinion. I wouldn't worry about if she's rebounding or if it's healthy for her. You need to focus on yourself, not her anymore. She must have been losing her feelings for you probably before she even met this guy. Maybe the religion issue was more of a problem then you thought. I don't think love can just disappear like that after 5 years. Something was going on. At this point, it's best to start going NC and move on. That's good you started feeling better and realize she isn't worth it.
Author walidtannoury Posted August 18, 2010 Author Posted August 18, 2010 to goodgrief: how can she love a guy she doesn't still know... all i know is that in rebound she can feel like love... and about the love starting to fade before... i am sure about it that it did not happen, i created everything in that girl and i know every thing in her, and one day before the breakup she was telling me i cant live with any other guy and i will fight for you forever... when i said 6 years i meant 5.5 but to write it faster i rounded it to 6 years... im not broken anymore... i can feel now that shes not worth it... shes a new personality and i think shes lost about her feelings... and 1 day she will start thinking and i told her its too late already... and about me falling in love with her... it took us more than 3 months to fall in love... i was reading online that rebounding looks like love at the beginning: Rebound feelings Another emotion that feel like love is the feeling you have for a person when you are in a rebound relationship. A relationship is a relationship that starts immediately after another relationship has ended. The feeling is almost like love, and reminds you of the happiness and feelings you had for your real love. It also takes away the loneliness and feelings of rejection that you have because of the break-up. But sooner or later, you will have to look closely at the person that you are with, and you will find out that this person is not the person you are pretending he/she is. He is a different person who wants and needs to be seen and loved for himself. to boltsfan17: i let her go out with him, because i had bad feelings about him, and i wanted her to understand how guys think sometimes, that if someone is sweet doesnt mean he is sweet...
Author walidtannoury Posted August 18, 2010 Author Posted August 18, 2010 then even he is not totally her style i know what she likes and how he is...
Author walidtannoury Posted August 18, 2010 Author Posted August 18, 2010 and finally even yesterday when we were sitting... she was telling me i still love you but i love him... shes so lost that girl... i cant understand her... maybe shes putting a mask on her face... shes good in hiding her feelings sometimes... really i cant understand what went wrong... last month it was her bday and i made her a great bday party and she said its the best bday ever...
goodgrief Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 to goodgrief: how can she love a guy she doesn't still know... all i know is that in rebound she can feel like love... and about the love starting to fade before... i am sure about it that it did not happen, i created everything in that girl and i know every thing in her, and one day before the breakup she was telling me i cant live with any other guy and i will fight for you forever... when i said 6 years i meant 5.5 but to write it faster i rounded it to 6 years... im not broken anymore... i can feel now that shes not worth it... shes a new personality and i think shes lost about her feelings... and 1 day she will start thinking and i told her its too late already... and about me falling in love with her... Then if you're not broken any more, and you can feel now that it's not worth it - drop this, stop posting and forget about her. Move on. She is not your problem any more, she is an ex-. You will never, in a million years, for as long as anyone is alive, ever find a way to mind-read or second-guess the thought patterns of another person. Even somebody we thought we knew so well. You will never see, understand or comprehend what makes a person do things which "only yesterday" seemed like a totally alien concept. You will never get your answers, you will never get the truth from her, you will never 'get' anything. Let it go, don't ask questions, and move on with your life. It will be the sweetest and most perfect thing you could do for yourself, in the end. To show her that your happiness is complete. With, or without her.
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