Iloveyou4ever Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 well i have to say..that me n my ex have been broken up for 3 months now :/ and shes in love with another person..but um the first time it didnt work out between them because the guy still had feelings for his ex, but then the guy wanted to go back with my ex so he broke up with his ex, and now he dumped her again to be with my ex....and says that it was her all along...while all that happened she told me she still had feelings for me..but then now she saids she doesnt anymore and that she only sees himself with the guy and no one else..i told her ill wait for her as long as i need but she said ill only come out hurt...before all this happened we were friends with benefits..and we would cuddle and kiss and be like if we weer together..im joining the army..just to get away from everything (and cuz i want to serve my country) she said she doesnt know what shes going to do without me and that no one could replace me..were getting a matching tattooo of a moon so that everytime we look up in the sky and see the moon..we will remember each other...and our song that we chose is hey there delilah .......hopefully me going away helps us both....i know shes the one for me and im always going to love her no matter what..no one will replace her...i really have faith that shell come back to me....and that we meet again...she wants her own little library in the house..and once i buy a house im going to have her library room with all the books she loves....she knows how i feel about her..but said not to wait for her....because shes in love with someone else..which i think its bull****....4 years i had been with her...and shes been knowing him for a little bit...wth...but i have feeling shes going to regret it...i just dont know how else to get her back and for her to understand i could give her a much better life......what to do?!!! what would you guys do......
health Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 Find a better girl, go no contact and DON'T GET THAT TATTOO! I understand your in pain man. You deserve much much better than her though. She'll never be happy always strining people along.
Don Ho Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 She is not the ONLY one for you and as you come to terms with that, you will feel better. No offense bro, but this sounds more like infatuation and fantasy than love. No matter, it's all a mess. Why would you want a woman that went with another guy? I wouldn't. BTW, your talk about how you let her use you as FWB and you "cuddled" suggests to me you're kind of a pussy. The MAN is in control, the WOMAN does the pursuing. Bet you were chasing her around like a little puppy. It doesn't matter how much YOU love her only how much SHE feels for you. Let her go bro. BTW I'm not trying to make you feel worse, but you have to look at how you acted so you can learn from it and not put yourself in the same position next time. Do not get the tatoo, go in the army (that seems like a dangerous way to forget her), do not contact her at all. If she contacts you, do not respond. You will be better off without this mixed up woman, bro. You can and will do better. Good luck!!
Recovery Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 I'm not trying to put you down as well, but it sounds like you do not have a lot of self-respect for yourself. You're chasing this girl who is confused and is obviously dangling a carrot in your face. Cut the "I'll wait for as long as it takes" .. "shes the only one" crap. You should never be an option to anyone, you are worth much more than that. Why settle for 2nd when you can be 1st with someone else? The obvious thing to do is strict NC and don't look back. This girl is no good for you. I hope everything works out, good luck! p.s. do not get that tattoo... cause if you did.. you may as well be poking little pins into your heart every time you look at it.
Author Iloveyou4ever Posted August 18, 2010 Author Posted August 18, 2010 you guys are right...i need to worry about myself more..theres no point in pursuing someone who is confused..im seriously done and im moving on already as much as it hurts i have to. theres a whole more other people out there. i really appreciate the advice guys.
spriggig Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 i told her ill wait for her as long as i need but she said ill only come out hurt...before all this happened we were friends with benefits WHOA! Wrong, wrong, wrong! You were FRIENDS with benefits. FRIENDS is all you were. She was using you for sex, she thought you understood that. Now, she's moving on to a boyfriend (not very well, but she's trying:rolleyes:), a "REAL" relationship. Please tell me you haven't been listening to Snow Patrol or The Fray. You don't wait for her, because there is nothing to wait for. There never was. It's over--hell, it never started. You now go straight into NC and never look back. Got it? While you're in NC, you really need to read this between fap sessions: http://malexperience.com/
Don Ho Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 Hey Iloveyou4_NEVER, none of us are down on you, just trying to help you through. Believe me, we've all been there. I do think you need to read some David DeAngelo and Doc Love on askmen.com for your next gal. I think if you learn how to deal with them better you will find a better woman, have less problems and be happier. Remember: nice guys do come in last. Spriggig. Interesting website. I'll check into it more.
Author Iloveyou4ever Posted August 19, 2010 Author Posted August 19, 2010 i really appreciate it and ill make sure i look into these websites, i gotta move on i can't be acting like this at all. today i actually did very well i didnt talk to her at all and so its all good she did text me though saying how was i but i didnt text back. and since in leaving to the military she wants to hang out with me but i dont know. im not going to fall into her traps anymore. im done. she lost me for good.
skydiveaddict Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 (edited) Forget about getting back with her. She is the only one who has control over that. From this moment on, you are the new forever. Hit the gym, hang with your friends meet new people find new things to do. Get rid of her phone #, email , facebook, my space, mailing address, and any other contacts you might have. If she calls, dont answer, if she texts, dont even read it, dump it. Time to start living your life again my friend. Start RIGHT now Oh and by the way, it's been a year for me and I'm still a basket case, so you're doing pretty well Edited August 19, 2010 by skydiveaddict
Author Iloveyou4ever Posted August 19, 2010 Author Posted August 19, 2010 yea so true theres other girls and thanks man i really am glad to get all this advice..im moving on to something better.
Recovery Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 (edited) It'll take time man. Just take one baby step at a time. Address those emotions as they come; let them out. Don't keep them bottled up or ignore them; it'll make things worse. Focus on yourself and keep yourself busy! Friends and family will help you get through this, but just remember they are only a distraction. Be sure to have time alone to reflect so that you will eventually accept that only you can make you happy! Balance is the key. Post here as often as you'd like, there are so many wonderful people who have gone through the same thing you're going through and are willing help you every step of the way . Edited August 19, 2010 by Recovery
Don Ho Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 Loveyou4_Never, Wow what a difference a few days makes! Your doing much better. You're even growing your balls back! LOL. No, don't meet up with her before you leave for the army. Let her pine away for once. No goodbyes, no nothing. Just go to the army and move on with you life. It will all work out for the better bro! Keep us posted.
Darren Steez Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 Agreed with everything said, some women like to have dudes hanging just as a fall back, plus there's also an ego element to it too. as long as you keep calling, texting whatever, she'll always keep you close but not close enough. I will bet you anything, even after a long while when she's bored, gotten into an argument with dude or the relationship has gone past exciting, she'll get in touch wondering how you've been, and using sweet reminisce language to pull on your heart strings. Glad you're being strong but if you're man enough to serve for your country and dodge bullets, then surely taking life into perspective you can get over a manipulative woman who has no qualms about ripping your heart to shreds. Plus chicks love a dude in uniform..use your powers!! Good luck.
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