Kiwis Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 Hey Everyone, I'll try to keep my story short. My Ex and I started dating when we were in Grade 11. He just ended our 6 yr relationship (we're both 23) last week. We are quite different personalities, I'm really outgoing and motivated whereas hes easy-going and more passive. I was his first and he loved me more than anything else. We had all the same interests, friends (some may say that's not healthy but it worked for us and we were happy). Unfortunately, this also means that we see each other 3-4 times a week regardless if we want to or not at church/hanging out with friends. Last year, outta the blue he said he wasn't sure if he was happy enough or that he feels he doesn't love me in that way anymore and he wanted to end the relationship. I was really angry so we didn't talk for about a month or so, but then afterwards when we cooled down we started chatting again and long story short he realized he made a mistake and that he missed me and so we started going out again. Now almost exactly a year later, he's saying the same thing again. He says that he cares for me a lot as a friend, that I'm more important to him than anyone else but he doesn't feel like he loves me anymore, that he wants to sacrifice or put me in front of his needs anymore. We've been together for so long and we know each other so well it's really a shock. Yes, some things have happened and we argue a lot, he feels that I'm not sensitive to his needs/I tell him what to do too often and that he's not a strong enough of a "leader" for this relationship. I realize how much I love him and I know the things he says about me I can change - the problem being he didn't usually speak up about it, it was always very subtle and since I'm not like that I didn't understand. We ended on good terms, he knows I still love him but he claims he just doesn't love me anymore in that way but now I'm kind of lost. I can't imagine that all those feelings could possibly be gone. I'm not sure if I should be a caring friend right now or just not talk to him to give him space. By all means I am not constantly texting/calling/emailing to ask him to take me back, have never gone there and I won't be he knows that I'm sorry and that things can change. He just says he doesn't want to work on it - he doesn't feel he cares enough to. What do you guys think? Will this guy ever come back? We've been together and best friends for 6 years...does that all really pass without a second chance? should we remain good friends so he knows that I still care about him and that I'm a good person to have around or is it better to let him miss me? This is by far more difficult than last year because it feels more permanent..and that's really hard to bare. I love this guy more than anything else and I'm just hoping hes confused or tired of working at the moment and that he needs time to mature and grow and that he'll be back here with me at the end of it. However he seems so sure that he doesn't love me anymore (which he said last year too but then took all of it back and he was 100% sure it was right) but could that just be that he's confused and its a temporary thing? We were also on a 2 month break before this happened as well so he's had time to think about it but we still hung out like old times just not as often. Thanks everyone =)
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