BiAxident Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 So, I'm fairly certain I'm going to be dumped. If not tonight, then sometime over the next few days. I havent seen my GF in 10 days, as she has been on a family vacation. Thus, there is already kind of a "buffer" between us, I'm already accustomed to not seeing her. Well, she wants me to drive up to her place tonight. She is getting back into town today, and Tuesday was one of the days we used to hang out anyhow. So, the question in my mind is, do I drive up and get dumped in person or just hang back and let her write me so long-winded e-mail? In person I can ask questions as they come to my mind and maybe get some sort of closure. If I dont go up, I can save some face by not having her watch me cry my eyes out. Any input would be most welcome!
goodgrief Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 If the feeling is so strong, and you feel sure this is about to happen... test the water. Tell her you can't come up this evening, and you think you two should take a break. Or break up. Is that what she would prefer? Is this what the visit is about? I think it offensive that she is making you go to her so that she can (perhaps? in all probability?) dump you. Great! Now turn around and go back home again! That's unfair, and having it all her own way, which is hurtful. The way to dump someone, if it's a simple process of things having drifted apart, is to meet on neutral territory and agree that this isn't working any more, and best of luck, let's call it quits.... I guess the how, depends a lot on past behaviour.
Author BiAxident Posted August 17, 2010 Author Posted August 17, 2010 If the feeling is so strong, and you feel sure this is about to happen... test the water. Tell her you can't come up this evening, and you think you two should take a break. Or break up. Is that what she would prefer? Is this what the visit is about? The last time we spoke five days ago, she stated that she doesnt know what she wants. Basically, it comes down to me having "called her bluff" in regard to getting her an engagement ring. I assume that, in the same way she wouldn't want to get married if she wasn't sure, she also doesn't want to get engaged or have me spend several thousands of $$s on a ring if she isnt sure. As for what the visit is about, I'm sure the status of our relationship is going to be the central theme. We've spent every Tuesday with each other since we started hanging out again, but this one will be different. I think it offensive that she is making you go to her so that she can (perhaps? in all probability?) dump you. Great! Now turn around and go back home again! That's unfair, and having it all her own way, which is hurtful. The way to dump someone, if it's a simple process of things having drifted apart, is to meet on neutral territory and agree that this isn't working any more, and best of luck, let's call it quits.... I guess the how, depends a lot on past behaviour. I dont know if I can use the term "drifted apart". If that is the case, she certainly hid it very well until this past week. But in my mind, neutral territory would imply in public, and I certainly wouldn't be comfortable in that situation. I'm much more ready this time than I was previously, but it still wont be a situation in which I'll want strangers to see me. As always, thanks for the reply.
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