Iselia Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 Today would have been 4 years together for us. I'm not going to mope, I'm not going to be nostalgic. I'm still pissed from what she said yesterday about "missing her and wanting to hug her." She wasn't talking about me, she was talking about someone else! This is the same woman who sits there and tell me that she loves me, but at the same time, is ok with me being out of her life. WTF! I've been terrified to let myself be angry with my ex. I think yesterday was the final straw for me. I'm beginning to saturate myself with rage. I'm hoping eventually, forgiveness with be within reach and THEN I will have NOTHING but indifference towards the b*tch. I know I still have a LONG way to go, but I know for sure now that I HAVE MADE PROGRESS! I will continue to make progress and I'm not going to let anything stop me. She's ok with me not being in her life? Fine. I'm going NC all the way baby, so I can heal and move on with things. Screw it, I deserve a hell of a lot better than her.
BiAxident Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 I've been terrified to let myself be angry with my ex. Why is it that you're terrified to be angry with your ex?
Author Iselia Posted August 18, 2010 Author Posted August 18, 2010 It sounds like you need to move on. If your ex is acting like that then she sounds like shes already moved on & you didn't. Get someone better, you sound like you deserve it. I'm working on it. It's taken me awhile, but I'm finally at a point were I wouldn't take her back unless she was really, REALLY sorry and matured. I'm not counting on her growing up anytime soon and I'm not waiting around for it. Why is it that you're terrified to be angry with your ex? I think it's because I loved her so dearly I wanted to choose love over hate. I tend to hold grudges and I don't want to do that with my ex. It would be too much energy wasted on someone who deserves none of my time/effort. I hope I don't hold a grudge. >_< Also, I kinda think it was a way for me to hold onto my love/feelings for her. Although, I still love her and miss her like hell, I'm beginning to see a lot more to this situation. She doesn't deserve me if she's going to act like this. She has been so damn hurtful, I'm sick of it. I'm ready for this crap to pass!
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