lostinlove9981 Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 There is this man that I "met" online when I was 16 years old. I am now 29, and think about this man every day of my life. It all started with chatting on AOL, all that lead to phone conversations. Then, we met in person. I had an instant attraction when I met him in person, just as I did online, but the attraction because much stronger at this point. Unfortunately he had always lived about 300-400 miles away, and didn't get to see him very often. After I went back home, the conversations became longer, and much more heavy. I was truly in love with this man and I knew he was in love with me. I went off to college in Pittsburgh ,which was a little closer to him, but still not close enough to see him as much as I liked.. we started not talking as much because I was busy with school, and he had been promoted in his job, which required him to travel a great deal...so the relationship between us just slowed down...up until this point, i had been a virgin, and my hormones were getting the best of me and I have to admit that I had found a "boyfriend" in college, and I told him about this, he said he understood, but I think I screwed something up, because about 3 months later out of nowhere he told me he was moving, about 1000 miles away.. i was devastated when he told me he found someone and he was going to live with her, she got him a job where she works making more money. Like i said, I was completely devastated. But I had to move on, and found other boyfriends, this all happened within the first 3 years of the "relationship" For the last 10 years, I've been putting this man on a pedestal. i will always love him. i think about him constantly. Sometimes it throws me into a horrible depression because I can't be with him. I have kept in contact with him off and on for most of the 10 years. Now that i'm settled in my life, I have a boyfriend, a 3 year old, and a home. my life is going ok, my boyfriend treats me well, we get along, but in my mind it's doomed because my boyfriend just isn't this other man. For the last few months, i've been talking to this man as much as possible, he still has a busy life, and i know he loves his wife, but he's told me that he's not truly happy. When we talk it's like we've never been apart. He's somewhat harder to read now, but he has said many things to me that tell me he wants to start an affair with me. I am filled with inner turmoil. I would start an affair with him in a split second, and not look back. But I'm more worried about getting hurt, because I love him so very much. I know it's not right to cheat, but I feel like our relationship never really ended. He tells me now that when he first met her, she was online, and he was just looking for a good time, then one thing led to another, and she got pregnant. at first he didn't know if the baby was his because she also has a history of cheating. I know he's tired in his relationship, but will probably be with her for a very long time. But i believe that someday even if we're old and gray we will be together. Am I crazy to believe this? I feel there is some weird cosmic connection that binds us together. Like a soul mate. I hate to throw that word out there. But I think I've actually found mine. I can't say that I've done many things for 13 years, but being connected to him is one of them. I feel a certain peace just thinking about him. My chest tightens up, and very vivid pictures come into my mind, like he's thinking about me at the same time. Tell me what you all think. I have been trying to do research on relationships lasting this long, and with this strong of a feeling, and I haven't had much luck. The feeling is mutual between us. he has told me this. I really need some advice.. i don't want to hear that cheating is bad... I'm not an idiot, i know it's not right. however, i cannot shut these feelings off, and neither can he..
unspokenwords Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 Like a soul mate. I hate to throw that word out there. But I think I've actually found mine. I can't say that I've done many things for 13 years, but being connected to him is one of them. I feel a certain peace just thinking about him. My chest tightens up, and very vivid pictures come into my mind, like he's thinking about me at the same time. I guess if you get any other responses on here they will be negative but your story rang a bell with me. That feeling of peace and that sixth sense feeling that you are connecting....I can so identify with that. Several years into my turmoil after an EA and still getting those feelings. There's no answer - to live with it or take the leap and do something are your choices - sometimes life sucks... Take care and don't beat yourself up about it.
aerogurl87 Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 It's possible to find your soulmate and not be with them I believe. Soulmates exist to teach you something about yourself, they're not always your second half (those are twin flames). I believe my ex that I had a strong love/hate relationship was my soulmate. He taught me what it really means to love someone through good and bad times. And I taught him to stop feeling sorry for himself and to believe in himself. We were good for each other in those aspects, not much else. But please don't have an affair. I know you still love him, but having an affair will just rip your families apart and it's not fair to anyone in the end.
NYCmitch25 Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093010/quotes "Beth Gallagher: [on the phone to Alex] If you ever come near my family again, I'll kill you. Do you understand? "
lilyy.12 Posted August 25, 2010 Posted August 25, 2010 im very imppressed but yes no atter how lovely your story is to me or anyone else. cheating is cheating &if he truly cares for you. then you both should end the lies of your realtionships and be together how it should be & if he doesnt then he's just not worth the risk of loosing a good man & causing pain to your little one.
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