For people who have left someone they have been living with..............

[akeshabelle]

I am struggling big time with this when it comes to the thought of ending my relationship.

 

Every time I work up the guts to speak to my boyfriend, the thought of packing all my things away in front of him and starting over stops me.

 

It is his house. I moved in with him 3 years ago.

 

He has a tendancy to be unpredictable. I am not afraid he will be violent, but he may even throw me out without all my things.

 

A lot of people have suggested I find a place to live before I break it off, but I can't do that because I know myself too well and there is a possibility I may not follow through with my decision.

 

ANYWAY that's not my question - I'd like to hear stories from people in terms of how they dealt with leaving someone they were living with.

[witabix]

It is a difficult thing to do properly.

 

How much respect do you feel you owe the other person? If you feel that you owe little or no respect then you are free to do it anyway you want to. Pack your things while he is not there, organise somewhere else to stay without informing him and leave a note.

 

On the other hand if you need to do it face to face you will have to take your self by the scruff of the neck. You have to face the questions, recriminations and possible accusations.

 

I have done this several times, always face to face with explanations. Even though I was and still do feel justified in leaving those people it brings back that odd feeling in the pit of my stomach. If you know it is going wrong, or has gone wrong, you have to stand up for yourself. Don't let the fear of the unknown or the thought of it being difficult or drama filled stop you.

 

If you stay when you want to go things will only get worse. You will fall apart and lose yourself.

 

My advice in the end is to state your case for why you are leaving. Remember it doesn't have to be a 'soap opera' case, the fact that you want out is enough. Then remain calm in the face of any negative reaction, and be prepared to face the 'no reaction' scenario too. I've had that too, it feels odd, but it makes it a whole lot easier.

 

It is possible that your SO is also harbouring similar thoughts but also hasn't got the courage to vocalise them.

 

Be brave and do what is right for you without fear and don't let your SO guilt trip you into anything. If you know it is time to go then go.

 

I have deliberately left out any reconciliation advice as the OP did not mention the possibility.

[laRubiaBonita]

when he went out of town for a week- i packed up and moved out

[misty3]

Once i realized that i was not happy where a previous relationship was going i decided to move on. This was not easy considering i invested significant time and emotion on her. It took me a week to get the balls to do it but i did and here is how. I planed ahead, by consulting my old college friend of my turmoil and he advised and hosted my accordingly. She was kinda like a drug but my friend helped me through the width-drawl and got me on my feet again.

[note: by plan ahead i mean bought a new phone (left the old one so she wouldnt even try), packed all my stuff, informed parents/ neighbors/police, updated my facebook/myspace, took a few days off work, planed the next 3 days/nights with blasphemous activities.] good luck it takes courage and a little prebrake up planning