Want to break nc after a month and two days...

[xOpinksushixO]

My no contact started when my ex wouldn't answer my text/calls, and would just inourge me (and would answer me every now and then.). After that I just decided to disappear from his life, deleted him from facebook, and everything else that I had. In order for me to move on. But lately, I been regretting it. I been closer and closer to just texting him. What's the best way to contact them? I'm afraid to do it through a text message, facebook, and email (since he barely checks his email). And, how would you go about talking to them. I was just thinking about asking him how he is, and for him to pick up all his stuf because I'm sick of having it. But I don't want it think, that its an attempted to get him back or anything.

[BiAxident]

If he wants his stuff, he probably knows where to go to get it. No breaking NC!

[xOpinksushixO]

I don't want to just contact him so he can get his things. I know sooner or later he has to contact me for them, since I have his birth certificate, social security card, tax papers, and a whole bunch of other things. I mean yeah, he can always replace it but I doubt he will. I just I really, miss him and not a day goes by when I don't think about him. I don't want him back, because for once I have to stand up for myself, because I know I deserve to be treated better. Just I can't let go, especially since the way we stoped talking really bothers me. So I just want to give it one last go. And, I'm hoping this way I can find stop wondering what if.

[bboy]

My no contact started when my ex wouldn't answer my text/calls, and would just inourge me (and would answer me every now and then.). After that I just decided to disappear from his life, deleted him from facebook, and everything else that I had. In order for me to move on. But lately, I been regretting it. I been closer and closer to just texting him. What's the best way to contact them? I'm afraid to do it through a text message, facebook, and email (since he barely checks his email). And, how would you go about talking to them. I was just thinking about asking him how he is, and for him to pick up all his stuf because I'm sick of having it. But I don't want it think, that its an attempted to get him back or anything.

 

Honest question - and I hope you answer from the heart.

Do you want to return his stuff to get in contact with him or do you want to return his stuff because it is not your property?

 

If your ex. doesn't contact you - he just doesn't. The best for you is to simply send it back.

 

So I suggest you pack his stuff in a box and give it to a friend. The friend can then contact him and say. "Hey, I've heard you and XYC don't have any contact so she gave me your stuff so you'd get them. Is there anything of hers that I should bring back?".

 

You will get your stuff back.

 

I know, I know, I know... You want to setup a communication with him. This setup should come from him and not you. You know this already. His stuff is not a life line to communication. It's a mental excuse from you.

 

Whatever you do. Don't pack any "small messages" or "gifts" into his stuff. Just simply return it like you would to a distant friend.

 

 

I hope you'll feel better soon. Because I know you will.

[bboy]

I don't want to just contact him so he can get his things. I know sooner or later he has to contact me for them, since I have his birth certificate, social security card, tax papers, and a whole bunch of other things. I mean yeah, he can always replace it but I doubt he will. I just I really, miss him and not a day goes by when I don't think about him. I don't want him back, because for once I have to stand up for myself, because I know I deserve to be treated better. Just I can't let go, especially since the way we stoped talking really bothers me. So I just want to give it one last go. And, I'm hoping this way I can find stop wondering what if.

 

 

Nope....

 

 

Wondering if - is still going to be there. I've been asked why multiple times by several girls. The answer just gets more and more confused each time and the questions more "pushing". Only time I've wondered myself why is when they've walked out.

[xOpinksushixO]

What if I send a short email and never answer back. There's just a lot of things I need to get off my chest, I'm not searching for answers, it's kinda like an f-u thing. sort of... the other reason I deleted him , was because I found out he lied about so many things, and was searching else where before we broke up. And, he doesn't know I know that either. Instead of telling him how I felt, then disappearing, and doing the no contact. I just deleted him, and then disappeared. And, since then it's been driving me crazy. I am more healed now then I was before. I feel a lot better, more confidant, and less depressed. Just the fact that I never got to say what I wanted to say before I started the no contact, really bothers me. I can't seem to get over it. I guess I'm also looking for a way to find closer too.

[goodgrief]

What if I send a short email and never answer back. There's just a lot of things I need to get off my chest, I'm not searching for answers, it's kinda like an f-u thing. sort of... the other reason I deleted him , was because I found out he lied about so many things, and was searching else where before we broke up. And, he doesn't know I know that either. Instead of telling him how I felt, then disappearing, and doing the no contact. I just deleted him, and then disappeared. And, since then it's been driving me crazy. I am more healed now then I was before. I feel a lot better, more confidant, and less depressed. Just the fact that I never got to say what I wanted to say before I started the no contact, really bothers me. I can't seem to get over it. I guess I'm also looking for a way to find closer too.

 

The past is over. Forgiveness means giving up all hope of a better past.

Carl Jung said that, and every time I feel like contacting my ex, I think of that.Because the reasons I feel like getting in touch are the same as yours. And it's pointless. completely hopeless and it just does nothing to help you put one foot in front of the other and keep walking.

Doing what you want to do, is like setting off on a nice long walk, and remembering about three miles up the road that you forgot your rainmac.

It's a blisteringly hot day, there isn't a cloud anywhere, the forecast is good for the rest of the day - yet you turn around and go pick it up. damn, that's another six miles you walked and what for? nothing. Just another thing to carry, and absolutely useless it turned out to be, too.

 

Put all his things in a box, give them to a friend, no message, either inside, or for your friend to give verbally.

Just ask them, 'these belong to my ex, please could you give them back to him for me? Thanks'.

If they ask, why don't you do it? Tell them, 'because getting in touch with him again, is like adding six miles to my moving on.'

[boltsfan17]

I don't want to just contact him so he can get his things. I know sooner or later he has to contact me for them, since I have his birth certificate, social security card, tax papers, and a whole bunch of other things. I mean yeah, he can always replace it but I doubt he will. I just I really, miss him and not a day goes by when I don't think about him. I don't want him back, because for once I have to stand up for myself, because I know I deserve to be treated better. Just I can't let go, especially since the way we stoped talking really bothers me. So I just want to give it one last go. And, I'm hoping this way I can find stop wondering what if.

 

That says it all right there "I deserve to be treated better."

 

I'm sure you have things you need to get off your chest, but if you really think about it, what's the point? It's not going to change anything and you are better off disappearing from his life for good. There is someone out there that will treat you the way you deserve. I'm sure you will continue to think about him for the time being, but you just need to forget about him and move on. He ignored you before, so it's best to continue with NC. You don't want to open more wounds.

[LostInTurn]

I agree. I would not contact him. I was very angry and would want to contact him. I did a few times, and we were so angry with one another, we would either fight or I would be ignored. Now, I just think. You can think about it. If there are things you want to just 'say'. Say them here. Start a new thread and write what you would have written or said.

 

When someone ignores us, they're either hurt, upset or don't know how to handle the situation.

 

Write it here. Everyone on these message boards are so supportive. Also, listen to their advice. Many of them are in your shoes. We know.

[GrayClouds]

Want to break nc after a month and two days...

 

I want to eat a dozen donuts. But like you I will not for in both cases it would not be good for us and we will feel like SH#T afterward. Hang in there.

 

 

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