EyeAlone Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 All throughout this breakup and recovery, I've grown so sick and tired of people telling me "You'll find someone someday!" or "There's a great guy out there for you!" or some other variation on the same theme. My mom is especially guilty of this but my friends are the runners-up. What the hell? There are so many people out there who die as a single. My mom counters by saying that those people want to be single and she cites my aunts as examples. Yes, there are some people out there that want to be single such as a couple of my aunts, but there are a lot of people out there who are miserably single for life. How do I know that I'm not going to be one of them?!?! I certainly don't know if I'll be one of them or not but I'm annoyed with everyone trying to feed me lies.
skydiveaddict Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 I'm single and I hate it. I dont know if there is a way to know how you'll end up
LostInTurn Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 I understand!!! My Mother is probably the worst offender. She tells me 'Well, I knew he wasn't the one a long time ago' 'You'll find someone'. My friends, same thing. Just remember, they say these things because they know us. They know where are hearts are and they want us to be happy. I also understand your concern on being alone forever. That thought crosses my mind countless times a day. I think its to the point where maybe I've accepted it and haven't thought about it much. Some people choose to be alone. Others are alone. But think about why that may be. Try not to think because they 'lost their all time love'. Maybe something happened. There are times when I want to walk up to people and ask them. There are days when I ask myself what I've done to end up in this place. Nothing, that's the answer. You won't be alone. Just like I won't be alone, just like so many of the other people on these message boards won't be alone eiher. I wish I could give you a date and time when it would all come together for you, but I can't. Its difficult, but you need to know you won't end up alone. Just because your last relationship, for whatever the reason, did not work does not mean that's an indicator for the remainder of your life. Please think about what I've said. I'm right there with you. I feel the exact same way, but please remember this. You will not end up alone. Write back as much as you want about this. I'm here. I understand.
collegeguy_24 Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 I hear that a lot from my family to, they just don't get it. Its annoying esecially since I have a horrendous time talking with women period and I was lucky to have two relationships in my life. Only two! And I am almost 25! Doesn't help my dad was a playboy growing up and my mom is all religious.
cookie2 Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 There are so many people out there who die as a single. "Everyone dies alone" -- Malcolm Reynolds Even if you find your perfect partner and stay together forever, there is a 50% chance that you'll out-live him and die single anyway. Actually a bit higher than 50% since women live longer than men on average. Sorry to be harsh but that's life!
TheUnthoughtKnown Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 "Everyone dies alone" -- Malcolm Reynolds Even if you find your perfect partner and stay together forever, there is a 50% chance that you'll out-live him and die single anyway. Actually a bit higher than 50% since women live longer than men on average. Sorry to be harsh but that's life! Haha, that was pretty harsh, Cookie! I don't like being single either. I've never really liked the idea of it. I'm just one of those guys who like commitment and being with someone etc but, like collegeguy, I'm not great at talking to women. I get by now and again, but I fail more often than I succeed. To boot, I really, really dislike dating. I know its something I'll never really do. EyeAlone, I know you get annoyed at them for it, but your friends and family are just trying to help you and make you feel better. You're going to find someone, I can guarantee that. No one is single forever if they don't want to be, because there are always ways to meet people, even if you're like me and don't like dating, there's always a way. Once you begin to feel a bit better about the break-up and start focusing on feeling better about yourself you will find someone out there, it may happen without you even realising it!
spriggig Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 We all travel our road alone. People join us on our journey, some for a short time, and a special few for a longer time, but ultimately it is a solitary journey, unique to each of us. When you're alone, you can let your guard down, find your center and live for yourself--all very positive for growth and stability. When you become whole in yourself again, confident, happy and strong, others will be drawn to you and you'll have opportunities to continue your journey with someone special--for a while.
goodgrief Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 So - what would you like to hear from people? I have no significant other, and I always tell people I am alone, and loving it! The tv remote is all mine, I can have my dogs on my bed, I never find filthy underwear or dirty socks lying around, my car is my own, and I don't have a guy who picks his nose will driving, or finds nothing wrong with breaking wind in front of me. I buy the food I like, when I want, and have meals when I want, even if it's a five in the morning, or three in the afternoon. I go to restaurants and refuse to be put on a secluded table, on my own, out of the way, and indicate that I'd love to sit over there, thank you.... I "listen" to a book through my headphones, or read one, and people watch... my bathroom is my own, and I don't have to clear the sink of shaving bristle remnants. It's absolutely blissful being on my own, and i wish I'd done it ten years ago!
BiAxident Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 It's absolutely blissful being on my own, and i wish I'd done it ten years ago! I'm not doubting the sincerity of your convictions, but if everything you wrote is true, then why are you here?
goodgrief Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 I'm sorry, is there a rule that says people like me can't come in and give their own insight? do I have to be heartbroken, in pieces, depressed, hurting or bereft?
GrayClouds Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 (edited) I'm not doubting the sincerity of your convictions, but if everything you wrote is true, then why are you here? Even if they are not 100% true, what is true you will heal faster by embracing these convictions then focusing on your fears. More importantly by doing the latter it increase the odds that your next relationship will be a relationship based more on avoiding your fears then embracing what you love. Becoming your best often means it is better acting like you believe rather then waiting to believe before you act. . Edited August 17, 2010 by GrayClouds
smk Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 All throughout this breakup and recovery, I've grown so sick and tired of people telling me "You'll find someone someday!" or "There's a great guy out there for you!" or some other variation on the same theme. My mom is especially guilty of this but my friends are the runners-up. What the hell? There are so many people out there who die as a single. My mom counters by saying that those people want to be single and she cites my aunts as examples. Yes, there are some people out there that want to be single such as a couple of my aunts, but there are a lot of people out there who are miserably single for life. How do I know that I'm not going to be one of them?!?! I certainly don't know if I'll be one of them or not but I'm annoyed with everyone trying to feed me lies. Being broken up does suck - and its painful and you may feel like its the end of the world and you cant see a future, but you know what so long as you keep on harbouring those thoughts and convictions you will just make healing from this break up that much harder... I am not experienced at relationships, I had my first serious relationship at 26, fell in love and had my heartbroken, but you know what its not the end of the world... It didnt kill me so it can only make me stronger... Sorry to be harsh here but whate everyone says is true, if you truly believe that you need another person to validate you or to make you happy then you my friend need to do some soul searching... We create our own happiness and validation, and like cookie and a few other have said on this thread, our SO's are only there for the journey of YOUR own life, some people may play a greater role other may play a small role, but the truth of the matter is that the ultimate journey and goal is yours and yours alone. If you choose to believe that you will spend the rest of your days alone then you wont open up enough to let that next great person into your life... let go of the past and live for today... again sorry for being a little harsh there... be strong, things do get better
Jabez Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 Hey all, new guy here. Lurker for a while but finally decided to join up. Anyway, I think that for someone to say "you'll find someone" is completely insulting. Half my friends are married and they only say that because THEY ARE MARRIED. they don't know what it's like to be chronically single. Sorry, venting. Hell of a first post haha
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