Faytheoreo Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 First off let me say I apologize for this being so long but I feel if a person will help me then they need to know the whole situation. I am 18 and my ex girlfriend is 18 also. We are both young as you can see but our love for each other is mature. We meet 4 months ago at a festival in her town. Later on in the day we held hands and a few days later we started dating. She lives 30 miles away from me so I only got to see her 2 times a week. We spend from 10am until 8pm hanging out, spending time together, going to the movies, going out to eat dinner, all of that. We seemed like the perfect couple right?. It started to go down hill about 5 weeks ago. We started to get into fights about her smoking weed everyday, we fought about simple things that would seem so stupid to most people. I asked her not to smoke around me and she did it anyways but then apologized for it and I forgave her because everyone makes mistakes. She said she forgot about the conversation. I let her do what she wanted because she is her own person. Earlier in the relationship I tried to control her but in my mind I was not. I tried to hold her back from seeing her friends sometimes because she spent so much time with them that I never got that many days to spend with her on webcam over Skype. I was afraid of losing her because she hung out with guys. That happened. A few days ago we were on the phone, she was at her best friends moms house. I was frustrated because we did not talk that whole day until then. Then her friends mom was yelling at her, I told her that she needs to go home. She told me"no I don't, I don't need to hear this right now" then I yelled a little and she said "I don't deserve this" and hung up. Later after that she texted me saying she thinks we should take a break. I asked her why and never got a reply. For 3 days I did not speak to her, I did not hear anything from her until today. She called me out of the blue, I picked up and we talked for 2 hours about all of this. It first started out as we were both frustrated due to this all. I came out and told her I know there is another guy because her best friend told me because she does not want that guy to be with her, she feels I am the right guy for her. She went behind her friends back to help me out and I told my ex that and she said "Well fay I don't know if it's going to work out with him and I don't know if you and I will work out. I asked her why and she told me we were falling apart weeks before this happened. So about an hour ago we talked again. We started to bring out our real feelings. She told me she will never forget the moments we shared and she will always love me. I told her the same and we both apologized for treating each other this way. I cried my eyes out after an hour of holding it in and she cried also. I reminded her of the moments we shared and she said that meant the world to her and so did it to me. I told her that we were meant to be but god put these obstacles in our relationship because he wants to test us, he wants to see if we can face any troubles. I know she is scared but I have the will power to fight for this and I just need her hand. I told her that and she said she understands that. I told her that in the future we may have feelings for each other again. It will take time but I have a strong feeling she will come back. I told her that I will be here and I won't go any where. She told me thank you. I explained to her that I have a strong feeling we will be together once again, and when we are we won't have these problems anymore because we worked them out. I told her I will always be by her side because I promised her that and when I make a promise, I keep it. I need your help now, what should I do?. She wants to be my friend still. I told her I can't have a friendship so soon but I asked her if we can check up on each other every few days. She said she will love that. I want to wait because I know we can make this work. Should I?. I can't walk away from her forever but I won't chase behind her. I will let her come to me, is that the right thing to do?. If her and this new guy don't work, I am positive she will come back to me and we can be friends and hopefully we can rekindle that spark. I know that if you don't stay in your ex's life she will begin to miss you. I just don't know what to do. Please help me. I care about this girl so much, I have so much love for her. I just need to know what I should to. Thank you.
Fruitpunch Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 **** me dude. Why dont you rip your heart out and offer it to her on a silver platter. You are in love with her so to help her feelings while she is with someone else you are going to stay in contact? Dude, that is pathetic. And i know you arent a pathetic guy. But you are BEING pathetic, and she is never going to be attracted to that. Give her an ultimatum if you must, but if she wont go out with you then NC. Put yourself first or you will get royally ****ed on this believe me.
Fruitpunch Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 And by the way. Relationship over , you and her being friends = you never EVER getting laid again. Girls dont **** their friends dude. U are better off treating her like total crap , you will have way more of a chance than being a pussy
Author Faytheoreo Posted August 17, 2010 Author Posted August 17, 2010 **** me dude. Why dont you rip your heart out and offer it to her on a silver platter. You are in love with her so to help her feelings while she is with someone else you are going to stay in contact? Dude, that is pathetic. And i know you arent a pathetic guy. But you are BEING pathetic, and she is never going to be attracted to that. Give her an ultimatum if you must, but if she wont go out with you then NC. Put yourself first or you will get royally ****ed on this believe me. I understand what you are saying. No contact but is just asking her how she is going and her asking me the same, is that okay? I don't mean as in we have conversations the whole day.
Author Faytheoreo Posted August 17, 2010 Author Posted August 17, 2010 And by the way. Relationship over , you and her being friends = you never EVER getting laid again. Girls dont **** their friends dude. U are better off treating her like total crap , you will have way more of a chance than being a pussy You're not really helping, I know you are being honest but I will have sex in the future. I never said I wanted a friendship with her just for sex. I would not have sex with a friend.
Fruitpunch Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 look dude, what you want , aint gonna happen. If by some grand freak of nature she did get back with you because she was bored of her other boyfriend , she would not respect you and would drop you in under a week. The only thing you can do here is walk, and if she runs she does, NC means nothing, NO CONTACT. Every time u ask how she is you feed her validation and go back to the start
goodgrief Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 Faytheoreo, harsh as his words may seem, he's right on the button. (I'm guessing Fruitpunch is male, his terminology is very masculine....) You have to stop any interaction with her whatsoever. Even asking her how she is, is basically feeding something, and you really need to starve this one to death.
Fruitpunch Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 Very much male lol, and i didnt mean you wont get laid again dude, but you wont ever be going near her goodies believe me, unless you act like a man. The guy who treats her like crap is usually the one ****ing her, the guy who pansys around waiting for a chance , he gets nothing. Walk, work on yourself, give her a few months to miss you, and in that time go the gym, sort your life out and go hit on some other chicks
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