IlikeBunnies Posted August 16, 2010 Posted August 16, 2010 My boyfirends sister HATES me. She instigates fights with me over nothing. She'll swear at me, call me fat, tell me I should go commit suicide, tells me I'll never be accepted or I'm not good enough for their family. She even insults my mother and says I wasn't raised properly, I'm useless, dumb, lazy, no respect for their culture, a psycho (she thinks I am going to beat her with a tea cup?), ugly, gross, and a slut. She even threw a cup of cold water in my face when I was sleeping. She said she'll stop at nothing to break us up and she finds it amusing to bully me. The problem is is that her brother (my boyfriend) cares about her so much that he is starting to change his opinion of me, all of a sudden I'm too dependent on him, and I don't know how to do anything right. He starts believeing the insults and never defends me against her and gets mad if I get upset or cry. They both claim she's trying to "help me" because I have flaws and need to change, that she's doing an act of charity. Is it wrong for me to want him to defend me, or at least not encourage it?
Clep Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 If the boyfriend sees this type of abuse as normal, I would be getting rid of them both. I don't see any loss here.
mohdhm Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 If the boyfriend sees this type of abuse as normal, I would be getting rid of them both. I don't see any loss here. sounds like a bunch of psycos
skydiveaddict Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 My boyfirends sister HATES me. She instigates fights with me over nothing. She'll swear at me, call me fat, tell me I should go commit suicide, tells me I'll never be accepted or I'm not good enough for their family. She even insults my mother and says I wasn't raised properly, I'm useless, dumb, lazy, no respect for their culture, a psycho (she thinks I am going to beat her with a tea cup?), ugly, gross, and a slut. She even threw a cup of cold water in my face when I was sleeping. She said she'll stop at nothing to break us up and she finds it amusing to bully me. The problem is is that her brother (my boyfriend) cares about her so much that he is starting to change his opinion of me, all of a sudden I'm too dependent on him, and I don't know how to do anything right. He starts believeing the insults and never defends me against her and gets mad if I get upset or cry. They both claim she's trying to "help me" because I have flaws and need to change, that she's doing an act of charity. Is it wrong for me to want him to defend me, or at least not encourage it? No, he should be defending you. Don't put up with it. He should know better
whichwayisup Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 My boyfirends sister HATES me. She instigates fights with me over nothing. She'll swear at me, call me fat, tell me I should go commit suicide, tells me I'll never be accepted or I'm not good enough for their family. She even insults my mother and says I wasn't raised properly, I'm useless, dumb, lazy, no respect for their culture, a psycho (she thinks I am going to beat her with a tea cup?), ugly, gross, and a slut. She even threw a cup of cold water in my face when I was sleeping. She said she'll stop at nothing to break us up and she finds it amusing to bully me. The problem is is that her brother (my boyfriend) cares about her so much that he is starting to change his opinion of me, all of a sudden I'm too dependent on him, and I don't know how to do anything right. He starts believeing the insults and never defends me against her and gets mad if I get upset or cry. They both claim she's trying to "help me" because I have flaws and need to change, that she's doing an act of charity. Is it wrong for me to want him to defend me, or at least not encourage it? His sister is a b.itch and also is a very cruel person. She isn't trying to help you and fact that he cannot see that his sister is slightly unbalanced, and he's letting her influence the relationship, honestly - Walk away. End it. EVEN MORE SO that he thinks you have flaws that need to be changed. Everybody has flaws, noone is perfect. Your relationship is none of her buisness, and he is letting her have say in how things go. You have every right to be upset and pissed off that he hasn't stood up for you, defended you or told her to back off and butt out. He's an idiot, one that gets mad at you because you're upset? DUMP HIM. You can do better. Yes, you may love him but do you want a boyfriend who is such an ass?
DaisyLeigh Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 Good lord. Dump him and find a real man. Not one who is obviously going to always love his sister more than you. Sounds damn near incestuous to me.
D-Lish Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 She even threw a cup of cold water in my face when I was sleeping. That's when I would have lept out of the bed, gripped her by the back of her head, and slammed her forehead into the floor. I believe they call it the "reverse pile driver". Actually, truthfully, I would have been out the door prior to it coming to this. If your bf allows this threatment of you from his family members- he's a POS.
finder Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 You shouldn't put up with that bull sh*t. I've had some pretty awful boyfriends, but every single one who had a family member that was rude to me has, at the very least, said something to that family member in private. And at the most told them to shut the f*ck up right in front of me. She sounds like a psycho. But she's not your boyfriend. Your boyfriend is allowing her to treat you like that? Not just that, even. He's letting her obviously crazy and ridiculous insults influence his opinion of you. That's not OK. I'd get rid of him if I were you. The fact that he sees his sister as "doing you a favor" because you're "flawed" shows something about him. And it ain't a good thing. No one's perfect. No one should be expected to be perfect. Any man who says thing like that should be kicked to the curb. Doesn't sound like he cares for you very much if he could be lured into believing these things about you. Tell him to f*ck off and go find a man who would puch someone in the face for talking to you like that.
AVR1962 Posted August 22, 2010 Posted August 22, 2010 In reply to the original post. My second husband's sister was very attached to her brother (my husband), they had been very close at one point and he did not want to hurt his sister but she was doing as you described to me. I finally got to the point that I stopped sitting in the hosue and visiting when we'd go to visit, they lived hours away (thank goodness), I would go shopping instead. One day though he was finally able to open his eyes to what was going on. She had way over-stepped her boundaries because she thought she could and he had never let her know otherwsie that it wasn't okay. Now they don't talk and he can see how poorly she treated me but that took 15 years. We actually don't visit the family at all now.
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