welikeincrowds Posted August 16, 2010 Posted August 16, 2010 (edited) Things have been going alright for me. I've had some rough days here and there (last night was hard for no reason in particular) but NC has pretty much kept me together and moving forward. The greatest thing has been that even when in doubt, I've had a plan and guidelines to follow. I've regained some confidence, and I'm starting to feel like all my chips are mine again. But I'm running into a new problem. As a young man, my hormones are a raging bull. I live in a city where you can't walk a block without seeing a gorgeous woman wearing some beautiful sundress or trashy skirt. I try to be aloof, but even girls whose style choices I don't enjoy on an intellectual level will still make me have to bite my finger if they are revealing their figures. It's like I have to lock myself indoors. (Not really, but come on now. There's got to be some sort of Puritan colony out there I can join.) This is a problem because I'm going through a transitional period in my life, and I don't really know what to do. Any fling/relationship I've had has been through school or mutual friends, but now that I've recently graduated and spend 9-5 working at a very small, anti-social design studio, I find myself with no idea how to meet people. Many of my best friends have moved out of the state, so my social circle here is pretty small, and I've always kept a small circle anyway/spent a lot of time by myself. So I've never really "dated" before. I see a lot of posts on LS about people meeting "great girls" or "cute guys" here and there, and I think "How is this so typical, is everyone just cold calling people in the supermarket?" I feel like there's a system or routine that people fall into but I've never done that. For the past two years I've focused heavily on my studies and my own personal issues, and didn't prioritize meeting women, or even really new people. I rarely "went out," and now that's even rarer. It's only a bummer for me when my birthday is in a few weeks and I don't really have anyone to invite anywhere. Luckily I have a few classes that I'm taking this upcoming semester just to finish up some straggling credits, and some of them will be at a different school, so maybe I can try to meet some new people there. But I know that's kind of a temporary longshot, and not really a solution. And following that, there's this other issue, which is that I don't even really know what I want. I know this is a big one. I've never had sex with a person I didn't "connect" with, but I'm not really interested in starting a relationship -- it stills feels like a lot of "work" right now. And sometimes thinking about sex leads me to painful memories about her, but that could just be because she was the last person to claim that spot. I wouldn't be considering any of this if it weren't for the fact that my body is telling me it needs sex. I was pretty capable of ignoring it through school when I knew I didn't have the resources available to handle having another person in my life, but I think she broke my defenses and now, compounded with summer clothes, my floodgates are open. I mean I could just "take care of this myself" but I don't think I'm fooling myself too well. I really should be getting out there and getting some experience on this, anyway. I'm trying to just stop worrying and accept that "it will come in time," but for some reason I haven't found peace with that answer. I'm sure I'm not the first person to deal with something like this here on LS. Any advice for me out there? Edited August 16, 2010 by welikeincrowds ****ty grammar
earthfireuk Posted August 16, 2010 Posted August 16, 2010 Hi mate, try some free dating websites. There are loads around and some have like thousands of girls on them! They use to be a bit of a taboo but now they are really popular! Loads of people are hooking up using them. I met a girl on one a while ago. She was pretty hot too! It's a really easy way to do it. You can get a date every night of the week if you want
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