Memories - Good or Bad?

[TheUnthoughtKnown]

I feel like my memories are a double edged sword. For instance, I'm incredibly happy I got to spend intimate time with someone I was absolutely crazy about for so long, and my memories make me proud of what I had with her, without a doubt.

 

However, the flip side is seeing things that trigger memories when I least expect it. A shop we went into together than led to an embarrassing, funny encounter, the place were we kissed in public for the first time, the street we walked down when she took my hand for the first time. The phone I bought when I started dating her, all these things seem to create a lingering effect if you know what I mean? Its nothing I can get rid of, obviously, unless I was to move city, or country even, but then how to, say, block those memories? Or at least control them.

 

Its confusing business

[BiAxident]

Its nothing I can get rid of, obviously, unless I was to move city, or country even, but then how to, say, block those memories? Or at least control them.

 

The quick answer is that you cannot block/control those memories, be they good or bad. However, if you really want to try, there is a fair deal of literature out there, both scientific and otherwise, that explain how to control your thoughts and emotions. Most any Buddhist text, as well as a book I'm slowly going through "How To Evolve Your Brain" address such topics.

 

I know exactly how you feel, though. I loved to cook for my xgf, and she loved it too, so she would often come up behind me when I would be at the stove and lovingly wrap her arms around me. After we broke up, sometimes I'd have to deliberately stop myself from conjuring up such memories when cooking.

 

While such memories may be dibilitating to you right now, bear in mind that they are still memories of something. Better that you should have a tangible memory, some of which you said you were proud of, than this general impression of spending time watching tv or hanging out at a bar.