mashpotato Posted August 16, 2010 Posted August 16, 2010 ok so il start, 6 maybe 7 years ago, my dad comes home. He asks to talk to our mum alone, we know by the feel of it that its something big, turns out he has had a affair for 5 year! So he and my mum try and fix things again for maybe a couple of months. Eventually he moves out and i begin to see less of him till its got to the point of once every 2 weeks for an hour. I dont know what to think of him really. So my mum cries and is depressed like you would expect and started using drink more and more. She and my dad always used to drink since me and my sister were young. I guess it wasnt till i was a teenager looking back i realised it. My dad still likes to drink now but not to same extent as my mum. She is constantly a mess, her chosen drink is whiskey and she will probably sink about 1 bottle of 700ml every 1-2 days. she sometimes starts before its even noon. has passed out many times downstairs. My sister has moved out house like 3 years ago, so its just me to deal her and her drunken ways and attitude. I am sick of it. Recently my sister got married. My mum saw my dads girlfriend for the first time ever and makes a huge scene about it. My Sister and Mother havnt talked since. When she is drunk she likes to repeat herself a lot, no conversation can be held, as she will be stuck in a loop such as constant sentences like:"its cold isnt it" "nice carrots arent they(at dinner table)" She sometimes stumbles, few times during the day! i have walked to the shops with her, i see on the way she has had a bit to drink as she is laughing at things i say that arent supposed to be a joke. Then arrive at the shop and she starts leaning on things and stumbling, another time she topples over on way back. a few christmas's ago, we went to one of her friends house for xmas dinner, later on when she gets back she is bladdered, we hear her go to bed up the stairs, crash crash crash, she is at bottom of stairs lying in cats food place. She would not get up, we told her we are ringing a paramedic, "no dont im fine", In the end we ignore and call one out. I can give many stories about what shes like. She refuses help, wont talk about her drinking. I have told her to ring my sister and she ignores it and moves onto a different subject. any suggestions would be appreciated.
KikiW Posted August 16, 2010 Posted August 16, 2010 It sounds like your mother is in the grips of depression and is using alcohol to self-medicate. This could have been going on long before your dad left, and just got worse when he did. Only she will be the one to make a change, when she is ready to do it. She doesn't understand that what she does affects people around her, she is so mired in her despair. You can try a couple of things. One is to sit down with her before she gets too drunk and tell her what you see - that the woman you respect and admire is fading fast and her life is simply going to pass her by. That one day you will have moved out and she will be all alone and her drinking will have pushed everyone away completely. Suggest that she get into AA and/or therapy to help her deal with her issues in a more healthy manner. If that won't work, you may need to look for an alternate living arrangement and move out. She is being self-destructive and if she refuses to make a change, you are not obligated to be her caretaker. You are your own person and should make your own way in the world. Offer her support and help as you can give it, but do not get wrapped up in her issues - they are hers to deal with.
Recommended Posts