bboy Posted August 16, 2010 Posted August 16, 2010 Do it! I didn't delete my ex from this site first. Before Mainly I thought: - I should be able to cope this fine. - I didn't want to look pathetic about it. - It was a sort of final emergency contact, even if we where NC from start. Here's what happened. FB got a glitch one day with her profile and suddenly all history until about when we broke up was gone. I flipped, thought: "WTF!! she just erased every comment, post and compliment I've given her? I just got wiped from her history. Is she really that senseless?!!". Then you can imagine how I got upset. She moves around a lot, so a lot of new people added and so on. I wasn't really 100% right after.... (Ok, I was a wreck...) Here is what happened next. The day after, her profile reset and everything was back again. I first thought maybe she blocked it just for me, but noticed that the history was blocking other stuff too that had nothing to do with me Lesson I learned. The emotions that got back was really bad, so I deleted her from my account. I realized the hard way but still soft way that I sneaked into her page with a poor excuse that this wasn't NC, just looking. (I'm a idiot). After I deleted the account it felt like sh*t for two days and then I figured it out that I'm actually protected against more heart crashing stuff. It might look childish, stupid or whatever. But I don't care. This isn't about her, it's about me. I put my EGO first and shouldn't care about her or her friends reaction. Now in hindsight two weeks after, I feel great relief that No more information = No more new pain. Those internet sites have a narcistic undertone where people put out a picture of how they want the world to see them. Strong, beautiful, social, interesting, sexy and fun. It doesn't really reflect the inside of a person. I looked at my own profile and chuckled as I realize that my own profile is rather limited but it also falls into that category. Then after all. If I'm going to have any future contact with my ex. it is not going to be because of some internet site either. So if you're holding on to this little option. I suggest to remove it. It can cause more damage than you'd imagine and create false hopes.
bonpaw2008 Posted August 16, 2010 Posted August 16, 2010 Now in hindsight two weeks after, I feel great relief that No more information = No more new pain. Those internet sites have a narcistic undertone where people put out a picture of how they want the world to see them. Strong, beautiful, social, interesting, sexy and fun. It doesn't really reflect the inside of a person. I looked at my own profile and chuckled as I realize that my own profile is rather limited but it also falls into that category. BBoy - I agree completely. We are (were) both FB junkies, played a certain game on there and had a board dedicated to it. I knew that I had to delete him as a friend in the beginning, so I did. But his profile was wide open and I could cheat and go look at it at any time. I left it like that for a while, but finally got to the point that I had to get off the threads with his comments and name on it, and get away from the board. I sent a goodbye message to everyone on the board and blocked him....it actually made me feel great, and gave me great insight on who actually gave a **** that I was gone and who didn't. And really, this cured my FB addiction! I look maybe once a day, and it feels really good. I don't want to know what he is doing, who he is friending, what is going on with him....this is about me, not him
newguyhere Posted August 16, 2010 Posted August 16, 2010 I hear ya bboy. I did the same thing with my ex on my facebook friend list. I even deleted her closest friends because I didnt want to see her posts to their wall showing up on my news feed. Out of sight, out of mind... eventually lol. Smart move.
YellowShark Posted August 16, 2010 Posted August 16, 2010 Facebook profiles are like fake boobs, they look great but they ain't REALITY! STAY OFF Facebook if you have just broken up. OK? It's like picking at the scab on your wound trolling through your EX's pics, their friends comments, etc.
TheUnthoughtKnown Posted August 16, 2010 Posted August 16, 2010 Yup, totally agree 100% with the above posts! First thing I did was take her from Facebook. I knew what I'd end up doing; stalking her online and making myself feel horrible for it! I took all her friends off too, and her sister. Then I asked my friends to take her off Facebook. You've no idea how much of an elephant in the room she was when I was with my friends. Knowing that they knew exactly what she'd been up to and I was desperate to ask them but I was trying to resist. I eventually asked them a few times, and they told me, what she'd been up to and it tore me apart. So I had them delete her. Its definitely for the best. NC all the way. Even if its really hard.
sweetyboo33 Posted August 16, 2010 Posted August 16, 2010 Thank you ALL so much for posting your advice about this. I've been struggling with whether or not to delete him as a friend even though we're on good terms right now and talk occasionally (that will end if I defriend him). It's SO hard to actually do it though...I know it's best, but I don't feel strong.
HopeLove Posted August 16, 2010 Posted August 16, 2010 It took me so much courage and strengh to delete him from fb but I knew I had to do it before he would then I knew this would have been much more worse. Right after I've done it I felt like crap but now I'm so glad I did.
bonpaw2008 Posted August 16, 2010 Posted August 16, 2010 Thank you ALL so much for posting your advice about this. I've been struggling with whether or not to delete him as a friend even though we're on good terms right now and talk occasionally (that will end if I defriend him). It's SO hard to actually do it though...I know it's best, but I don't feel strong. You can do it sweety! Do it now before you find something out that you don't want to know about....2 days of wondering "what-if" is better than being blind-sided later.... Why do you need to be on good terms with him? What are you gaining? Just hard questions, I had to ask them of myself. If I was still his best friend I would always be hoping it would turn back into something more, so I had to sever all ties, it really sucked but I will be better off in the long run.....
sweetyboo33 Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 You guys were right. I knew it in my mind and heart as well, but clicking that "x" button to de-friend took so much strength. I did it though. We're no longer FB friends. I let him know why...I just felt I wanted to give him a reason so he didn't misinterpret my action there since we're "cool" with e/o Anyway, still very hard to do. But now I don't have to worry about what I see on his page. That is definitely a relief to know that I won't have to see his status change, wonder if the girls he friends are interests, pictures of him, etc. etc. I'm no longer in bondage to this relationship. I've also gone NC as of today. I hope it lasts! I need to be strong.
WolfRouge Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 Same problem here, though she deleted me. But I was still able to see comments she posted to the friends we have in common. Her name popped up on my notifications lastnight and I swear it felt like my heart just jumped out of my chest. I didn't want to delete the mutual friends, so blocked her instead. Now I can't see her comments or anything. But the reason I did it is because she's moving in with the tart already and that was the final straw for me.
Iselia Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 Same problem here, though she deleted me. But I was still able to see comments she posted to the friends we have in common. Her name popped up on my notifications lastnight and I swear it felt like my heart just jumped out of my chest. I didn't want to delete the mutual friends, so blocked her instead. Now I can't see her comments or anything. But the reason I did it is because she's moving in with the tart already and that was the final straw for me. +1000000000 for blocking her. YOU DESERVE BETTER! Keep that in mind whenever you think about her!
WolfRouge Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 Maybe you're right. But she was truly unique. I felt lucky to be with her and proud.
Author bboy Posted October 10, 2010 Author Posted October 10, 2010 A little follow up. Of course I sneaked into FB and looked at my ex limited profile. Includes a few replaced profile pictures and 40-50 new friends that I have no idea of who they are. I actually didn't even know how to process this information in my head. People add new friends and change profile pictures all the time. Doesn't mean anything and it for sure doesn't have anything to do with me. In a way I'm a bit sad that I removed her. But I am also aware of that by not removing, it would have caused a lot of damage and I wouldn't be where I am today if I didn't. So I don't regret doing it.
SoConfussed Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 A week after my ex left me, I took a peek at his FB and crumbled. There were new pics of him and his ex girlfriend. His status had changed to in a relationship with her... Then the next day his status changed to engaged! I blocked all my FB information from him and learned the hard way not to peek at his. I put NC in place when he left me, and I'm much better off emotionally to stick with my own rule.
thatsonlyme Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 My ex made it very easy for me on this one. She hasn't updated her facebook account since our break up! nothing for almost two months and she was pretty active on FB before.
Buccaneer55 Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 I didn't block my ex from my facebook, but i did hide her profile. So basically were still facebook "friends" but I don't see any updated statuses or pictures she might put up. She however can still see mine, and likes to either "like" my status updates or comment on them. I find it strange that she does it, but it is what it is.
Username37 Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 I barely log on FB now. She's still on my friends list but I'm restricted profiled. I haven't spoken to her in months and she suddenly restricted me. I can't escape her on FB, most of our friends are mutual friends and they love posting pictures, so I can still see pictures of her. It's best to totally avoid that site. Haven't been on in like.....a month I think?
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