Hope - things do get better...

[Hbattjr44]

I try to get through each day with a happy face. We have now been apart for 140 days. I have not spoken with her since June 17. She is always on my mind and it hurts to think that she is with someone else. What hurts the most is the fact that it seems like the 2 1/2 years meant nothing to her. She wait a whole two weeks before she proclaimed that she was in a relationship with someone else. Did all of the good time the love and tenderness that we shared mean anything to her. She always said that I loved her like she has never been loved before and I showed her what love could be like. She never once had to guess how much she was loved by me and alway told me how much satisfaction that she had knowing that i loved her so much. She always told me how much she loved me also. Then can the dreaded Gastric-bypass this changed her mental state it seems to me. She is no longer the person that she was. I still love her with all of my heart. I would take he back in a second and that is what i am terrified of. I don't know if i could ever trust her again. I want to believe in her and i trusted her with my life before we broke up. Before the Gastric bypass she was such a different person. Now she is like a person who care about nothing including herself. She appears to be gaining weight again. We were best friends and shared everything over the years. It almost like she is trying to find herself as a skinny person. She had only been with her ex-husband for 21 years and my self sexually. I think that she thinks that she missed out on something. She was a large women for most of her marriage to the ex-husband and was a large person for 2 years with me before she got bypass. Now she is sleeping with the new boyfriend who was the first man that showed her attention after she broke up with me. This relationship is the worst thing that she could have done. It has cause her problem from the first week that they started to see each other. But she blames me for all of her problems. I supported her in everything that she wanted to do when we were together to help her get healthy. i just destroys me to to think that it was all for nothing. As i said before i am lost without her just miss her so much it hurt.