scaredinlove Posted August 16, 2010 Posted August 16, 2010 September is coming fast and that will be the 2 years aniversary of exMM leaving my house for good. I still remember how I come home for lunch to see him pack. How he smoke his last cigarrette outside and how I went back to work and collapsed crying like a fool. I also remember that I went to a store and bought a dresser because he always complained about the one I had. The evening become nasty with a lot of rain... I remember I suffered but I can't remember the intensity of the pain anymore. I usually see my self as a spectator , watching the whole scene from afar ...Must be a way of coping... I still think of exMM a lot but I know that him leaving was the best thing that ever happened to me. I am still healing from all, and I know I have many scars. Nothing will be ever the same...but life is a lot better now . I can honestly say that if I was giving the chance to go back and make him stay, I would say " Hell no, let him go!" He was my great love, but with great love comes great pain and great transformation...So for those that are hurting now, I just want you to know that eventhought the pain is very very strong, it will get better and you will find love again. You can't see it now, but you will.
cavedweller Posted August 16, 2010 Posted August 16, 2010 It is tough to lose a 'soul mate'. Hang in there.
pureinheart Posted August 16, 2010 Posted August 16, 2010 September is coming fast and that will be the 2 years aniversary of exMM leaving my house for good. I still remember how I come home for lunch to see him pack. How he smoke his last cigarrette outside and how I went back to work and collapsed crying like a fool. I also remember that I went to a store and bought a dresser because he always complained about the one I had. The evening become nasty with a lot of rain... I remember I suffered but I can't remember the intensity of the pain anymore. I usually see my self as a spectator , watching the whole scene from afar ...Must be a way of coping... I still think of exMM a lot but I know that him leaving was the best thing that ever happened to me. I am still healing from all, and I know I have many scars. Nothing will be ever the same...but life is a lot better now . I can honestly say that if I was giving the chance to go back and make him stay, I would say " Hell no, let him go!" He was my great love, but with great love comes great pain and great transformation...So for those that are hurting now, I just want you to know that eventhought the pain is very very strong, it will get better and you will find love again. You can't see it now, but you will. In bold, this is a way of coping, I was diagnosed with it...you disassociate yourself from the situation, detach .... Well, I hear ya, it does get better and ya just don't care anymore:)...no hate, no anger...you just simply "are"...
TaraMaiden Posted August 16, 2010 Posted August 16, 2010 Being able to count isn't a good thing. sometimes, it's a curse. if you keep counting, you can count on the fact that you subtract from your future, divide your priorities, which equals in a minus figure. Stop counting. It doesn't matter, any more.
Ellin Posted August 16, 2010 Posted August 16, 2010 I could feel the pain you went through as you described it and I'm glad you've moved on. And thank you for sharing this to give others hope that they can heal from the wounds of a break-up. Hugs!!
Author scaredinlove Posted August 18, 2010 Author Posted August 18, 2010 Thanks for the answers and Tara I see your point but counting is these case is not bad, is just a way to see myself further and further away from the past...imagine leaving behind the scene of a bad accident that you barely survived...counting is like blessing, like saying thanks for another day, thanks for sparing me...
Confused4Now Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 Thanks for the answers and Tara I see your point but counting is these case is not bad, is just a way to see myself further and further away from the past...imagine leaving behind the scene of a bad accident that you barely survived...counting is like blessing, like saying thanks for another day, thanks for sparing me...Your xMM probably found some other person to screw with....that is so sad. I'm glad you are healing and getting better. I know what mean...I'm trying to put that part of my life behind me. Its really about finding your happiness and he didn't want to be a part of it. I guess he's happy right where he is.
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