I Emailed Him! :(

[LostInTurn]

I couldn't help it. I wrote him the following email and then blocked him. I cannot do this. It's too much stress...

 

Hi,

 

I'd ask how you are, but I'm sure you're fine... wherever you are in this world... (or if you'll even read this...)

 

I guess I don't get over something like we had as easily as you did.

 

I don't think 'love' is real anymore. I don't see how it can be.

 

I wonder, sometimes, if you miss the little things. Like when I would kiss you and say 'More!' and laugh and kiss you over and over with the biggest smile. I don't know though... I never will.

 

Sometimes I wish you did miss 'us'. It's ok that you don't though.

 

Maybe your new gf / love interest is making you a nice dinner right now. Or maybe you two are about two watch a movie and snuggle. Or maybe you took her to the Life Guard chair at a nearby beach...

 

I can't imagine being with someone. I have no interest, at all.

 

Either way... I don't know. I guess I don't know much about anything anymore.

 

I'm not looking for a response. I just wanted to write it down.

 

JG

[TaraMaiden]

I couldn't help it.

 

Of course you could. You wanted to do it, and you did it. You could have 'helped it' but you chose not to. That's fine. But don't lie to yourself, or us. That shows a lack of dignity... and you deserve better.

 

 

 

I wrote him the following email and then blocked him. I cannot do this. It's too much stress...

That's controlling.... don't block him. If you dish it out, you should be "man" enough to take it....

 

Hi,

 

I'd ask how you are, but I'm sure you're fine... wherever you are in this world... (or if you'll even read this...)

 

I guess I don't get over something like we had as easily as you did.

 

I don't think 'love' is real anymore. I don't see how it can be.

 

I wonder, sometimes, if you miss the little things. Like when I would kiss you and say 'More!' and laugh and kiss you over and over with the biggest smile. I don't know though... I never will.

 

Sometimes I wish you did miss 'us'. It's ok that you don't though.

 

Maybe your new gf / love interest is making you a nice dinner right now. Or maybe you two are about two watch a movie and snuggle. Or maybe you took her to the Life Guard chair at a nearby beach...

 

I can't imagine being with someone. I have no interest, at all.

 

Either way... I don't know. I guess I don't know much about anything anymore.

 

I'm not looking for a response. I just wanted to write it down.

 

JG

 

What precisely then, was your motivation?

What have you achieved?

What do you hope to achieve?

 

Why?

 

What has this actually done for you, that you are really glad is done?

[skydiveaddict]

Aw lost, I feel terrible for you. Sounds like you are really hurting. But do you really want to know what he's doing with his new gf? NO you don't. It will only cause you more pain. I'm not blaming you, I've been tempted to do the same thing myself a thousand times. I just REFUSE to play second string to some other guy. That's what is important here. Don't settle for second best ever. You are worth so much more than that

[LostInTurn]

I sat here all day, just thinking. Repeating the last words he wrote to me in my mind. How he said he misses me amd what we had.

 

He was so angry with me last week. Angry because I didn't know he was transferred to another location for work, so as we were emailing he got upset. We stopped emailing. Then later he wrote me and said how he would have called me, but was frustrated and it was all my fault. I had emailed him earlier that morning after NC for 1/5 weeks saying I had missed him and hoped we could talk. I didn't expect to hear back from him.

 

My reason for blocking him today. Not hearing back will crush me. I said what I have been thinking all day. Like I said, I needed to write it down.

 

I'm so angry (I once read on here how someone 'ran through hell in a gasoline suit' for someone) well... it's a good representation of the things I did for him. He has the shortest temper and is so self centered. I guess I'm at a point where I feel those emotions and I wanted to tell him.

 

I'm at a point where, I think I just want to be alone. I'm 27 years old and I wonder what I have done so wrong in life to be where I am. So many of my friends are engaged, married or having kids. I'm the last one (it feels like)

 

I cannot explain any of it. All I know is I want it all to be over. Done.

 

I want to be fixed and happy again. I'm a happy person and I'm miserable.

[Thorgs]

That letter didn't really say much. It seems like you were trying to get him to respond, but you blocked him. So I'm confused at your reasoning for emailing him.

[LostInTurn]

He doesn't have a new gf. He actually wrote me last week and said how I have probably rerplaced him. He has not moved on. I said it because I am trying to convince myself he has so I can try and stop thinking about this. I am trying everything in the book. I don't know what to do.

[Thorgs]

He doesn't have a new gf. He actually wrote me last week and said how I have probably rerplaced him. He has not moved on. I said it because I am trying to convince myself he has so I can try and stop thinking about this. I am trying everything in the book. I don't know what to do.

Exercise works wonders. So does eating right. Take one day at a time right now and make small goals for yourself.

[Fouts]

It's better to write and archive, get it off your chest, but what's done is done. I do agree with Tara that it's kind of silly to block him, since it's obvious you want to communicate.

[LostInTurn]

I think it's more or less things I want to say, than get a response.

 

Things I want him to hear.

 

Another piece of it, not hearing would hurt.

[Thorgs]

I guess what I'm saying is, there wasn't any girth to that letter.

[LostInTurn]

I guess what I'm saying is, there wasn't any girth to that letter.

 

I know. It's just what I've been thinking about these past few days. I guess I just wanted to write it and send it.

 

I just needed it to be out there.

[Thorgs]

I hear ya on that. I mailed a long letter to my ex as a farewell thing. I'm happy I sent it even though it went against what everyone said on LS. To each their own. Stay strong!