just want to rant, rave, vent whatever you call it!

[spriggig]

...he told me a lot of times when I express my unhappiness in our marriage.

 

Maybe he thinks you'd be better off without him?

 

Was he deployed to Iraq? If so it could very well be PTSD.

[elaina]

okey, I can't rant and rave on my fb or to my friends cause my hubs says I'm putting him down and treating him like crap, bur I am the one treated like crap.he buys 12 cans of beer evryday and smoke two packs of cigarette! We are so broke that I'm glad there's wic or my baby won't have formula. I hate his sister who treats me like crap too, calls my hubs ex her sister-in-law, so what am I?i think I'm the one married now to his azzhole bro. I just need my drivers license but he's not teaching me to drive, afraid I will run away with our baby when I get behind the wheels or just plain lazy. Now says we don't have money to send me to school but got money to spend on beers and cig.

 

 

Hello Finding Serenity,

 

I'm so sorry!

 

Is there a number you can call for a woman's shelter or woman's help? My sister works at a woman's shelter, and they go and pick up women and their children who need help. You can tell a woman's shelter in your area that you want to leave and can't, and explain how your husband is not treating you well and how you need driving lessons and help with separating from your husband and getting custody of the baby. Please find a place that can help you. Women's shelters are there to help women, and in your case it is very helpless to not be able to drive away, but you also need a place to stay, and help with legal matters concerning your child, and a women's shelter can help you start a new life.

 

It is a horrible thing to live in such a situation, and I hope you find a good place that will help you and that you can start a new life with your child!

[tnttim]

okey, I can't rant and rave on my fb or to my friends cause my hubs says I'm putting him down and treating him like crap, bur I am the one treated like crap.he buys 12 cans of beer evryday and smoke two packs of cigarette! We are so broke that I'm glad there's wic or my baby won't have formula. I hate his sister who treats me like crap too, calls my hubs ex her sister-in-law, so what am I?i think I'm the one married now to his azzhole bro. I just need my drivers license but he's not teaching me to drive, afraid I will run away with our baby when I get behind the wheels or just plain lazy. Now says we don't have money to send me to school but got money to spend on beers and cig.

 

You don't need a man to do any of those things. Any man or woman can get their license, or find a way to pay for school. At some point in your life you will figure out that you and only you are the cause and solution to your problems!

[BlackLovely]

I agree with Distant. When people decide to get married, some things are inappropriate, such as having dinner with the opposite sex. When I was single, I had a lot of male friends. I thought nothing of going to their places to hang out. My fiance has gently expressed his discomfort with this and I have stopped going to men's places out of respect. I asked myself how I would feel if my man was having dinner with other women....

[finding_serenity]

gudness I don't have any male friends of my own that I hang out with since I got married.please read again,he knocked on our door, with cake flower and food for dinner.i was taking care of my baby back then.if you wer in my place,what will you do?he is a common friend of me and my hubs.and it's not easy to learn how to drive when you have no relatives around to help you.i asked some friends but got turned down,i can't hire,i have no money.i work to pay daycare and some bills.you have to be in my shoes.anyway,hes not so bad,he doesn't hurt me physically.i know I've to be independent that's why I save small portion of my salary.

[finding_serenity]

and no,i didn't go out with our neighbor,we shared the food he brought with my baby sitting on my lap.

[finding_serenity]

and no,i didn't go out with our neighbor,we shared the food he brought with my baby sitting on my lap.

[finding_serenity]

my hubs just got back from illinois and gonna pick her daughter,problem is he is keeping her til monday and he can't bring her to work, I am scheduled to work that day too. My baby is going to daycare but her 10 yo can't come with him or me to work.oh well

[Distant78]

gudness I don't have any male friends of my own that I hang out with since I got married.please read again,he knocked on our door, with cake flower and food for dinner.i was taking care of my baby back then.if you wer in my place,what will you do?he is a common friend of me and my hubs.and it's not easy to learn how to drive when you have no relatives around to help you.i asked some friends but got turned down,i can't hire,i have no money.i work to pay daycare and some bills.you have to be in my shoes.anyway,hes not so bad,he doesn't hurt me physically.i know I've to be independent that's why I save small portion of my salary.

 

I have a question. How is he a common friend of both you and your husband, when you said your husband got mad when you told him you had dinner with OM? Is your husband still friends with him after he found out that he had dinner alone with his wife? Does your husband knows he has the hots for you? Just wondering.

[finding_serenity]

he's a neighbor and really nice to us.he knows he's got a thing for me but he laughs over it.he knows I won't cheat but is worried when he's sent and me and my baby are alone at home.i don't mean to sound conceited but I have coworkers who show interest in me but I just smile or laugh and go my way.we exchange good will kinda,he dine with us and watch dvd on friday nights and weekends, he share his cable and internet with us. My husband just got mad cause our neighbor is the one who got me cake and flowers for my bday instead of him.pride I guess...

[finding_serenity]

lets just say he trusts me but not our neighbor.

[finding_serenity]

today were in good terms,dont know how long it will last though.i need to do my cna thing.to get a better job.

[finding_serenity]

my husband kissed me but I didn't feel any connection,i basically felt nothing,does this mean our marriage is in trouble?we hardly have sex and when we do,im not even enjoying it,its like a duty that I've to do.its disturbing.im not even excited or happy to see him.im thinking bye bye peace quite silence...he can't stand quiet,tv has to be on all the time if he's here even whwn he's not watching it so I'm having difficulty putting our baby to sleep.i told him baby was much better sleeping without tv but he said there are other peiople who lives in the house,yeah,tv alcohol and cig addict like him,hes an adhd.i didn't know that.is it why he can't stand silence?

[finding_serenity]

he taught me how to drive with all sniding sarcastic remarks.i was so stressed out not because of driving but because of him.its aggravating and saying why can't you do it this way it's so easy when he doesn't regularly teach me anyway.then home I was cooking,making sure the baby and his daughter is fed but got mad when I told him that he and his daughter go eat without me cause I've to give the baby a bath.that really got into my nerve.i talked to him bout what happen a while ago and instead of apologizing brought up another issue.that really suck.i was tring to be calm explaining my side and he's just...aaaaarrrggghhhh!!!!! I told him his sarcastic remarks and snappings are aggravating so there are times I just keep quiet and not answer but thos is getting tiresome.im so f#(k up!!!!!!

[finding_serenity]

it's much better without him here.i was so relaxed all week hes not here.

[finding_serenity]

my H and I are at peace right now,im still bothered that he put me down in front of his kids though.i don't understand why he does that.im not even competing with his kids for attention,as long as I have my baby,hes my everything.

[Minnie09]

Your H is an addicted, insecure and irresponsible man, not willing to grow up and spending family money on his alcohol and cigarettes. There's no doubt you and your baby are rather low on his priority list. The reason why he talks down to you is not you, but his own insecurity about himself. Putting you down lifts him up. So does his passive-aggressive behavior (ignoring your birthday etc).

 

Plan your exit, as nothing's going to change, unless he starts to learn what being introspective means. And working on oneself instead of criticizing the SO. Don't feel guilty about the neighbor. It's not your fault. Your H is jealous for a reason. He feels inferior and wants to blame it all on you. He's controlling and mean. Being this way lifts him up, because that's what he needs in order to feel better abt himself.

 

Do you want to raise your boy in the States? If you get a D, your H might cause you some problems with custody and stuff, if you decide to move back home. Keep that in mind and plan well ahead.

 

How was your honeymoon period? Those guys usually promise you bliss forever and heaven on earth and then treat you like dirt, as soon as they're married to you. The big promises should have signaled a "red flag" right there.

[finding_serenity]

minnie I do have back up plan incase our marriage fails and no,i don't want my son to grow up in a surrounding where his mother is being treated like a crap by his dad.i don't want him to grow up like his dad.

[finding_serenity]

i want to rant again cause I'm am so pissed off! I've been planning to take up cna for the long time and my hubby knows that.saying he supports me all the way,this week is the last week for registration so I took off for tomorrow,his daughter is here cause it's vacation.he texted me this afternoon while I'm working if his daughter is ok to stay for another day,i said that's fine.when he come pick me up,he said he will go to work so I've to watch over his daughter, I was surprised,i thought he going to extend his leave to spend 1 more day with his daughter.turns out I've said yes to babysitting without me knowing it.but it conflicts with my registration and enrolment.i told him this and he said he's going to worj and I choose if I want him to lose a job if he absent from work.unfair huh,he knew beforehand what I am planning to do tomorrow and he just decided today to keep his daughter for a day.i think he doesn't want me to make developments with my life.what do you think?

[Minnie09]

You're probably right. Development in your life means more independence, which threatens him even more. He doesn't want to support your efforts, because the more success you have in your life/career, the smaller he feels. He is sabotaging you for this very reason.

People who love somebody support their loved ones. They don't sabotage ambitious plans.

I'm not saying that his job is unimportant, and he may be required to be there, but since he KNEW it would be an important day for you, he should have a backup plan at hand, just in case he can't take a day off work.

Ask the neighbor to drive you. LOL.

 

No, seriously, this sounds like he never actually planned on supporting/driving you. He just doesn't care.

[spriggig]

.turns out I've said yes to babysitting without me knowing it.but it conflicts with my registration and enrollment.i told him this and he said he's going to work and I choose if I want him to lose a job if he absent from work.

 

This is nothing more than cowardly, passive-aggressive BS. He has a lot of growing up to do.

 

You need to have a reliable method to get to school on your own, don't you? For tomorrow, ask the neighbor for help, he'd probably take the day off to do so. Take the child with you, they're portable.

[finding_serenity]

he has no choice,we went outside the house and I confronted him bout change of plan.then he said I'm talking from my a$$.i said he's the one who made the conflict, then he said there will be entrance test, trying to scare me but I told him firmly I will get my cna.told me to go findmy own ride but afterwards told me to review.he didn't sleep in our bedroom but stayed on the couch giving me cold treatment.i don't care anymore.sick of emotional and verbal abuse.

[finding_serenity]

he's not interested nor happy that I am making or doing something bout my life.but I've a baby to care of and I have dreams.i know if I go pursue them,ill be able to get them.

[finding_serenity]

I'm happy,i felt good..felt empowered..kinda like seeing a faint light which means I'm near the end of the tunnel....im taking time and trying to keep patience..

[finding_serenity]

we had a fight last night, it's a neverending issue from past that never ends. I decided to spend a night at my close female coworker.i badly miss my baby but I've to do this.give myself sometime on my own.