LostInTurn Posted August 15, 2010 Posted August 15, 2010 I want to call so much. It's the most difficult thing to fight back the tears associated with is all. I know I cannot call, and I know I should not cry. I don't know if I can do this. It keep replaying in my mind.
Confused100 Posted August 15, 2010 Posted August 15, 2010 I think it's fine for you to cry. Don't bottle up your emotions. I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better. It's really hard, but you'll make it.
GrayClouds Posted August 15, 2010 Posted August 15, 2010 I want to call so much. It's the most difficult thing to fight back the tears associated with is all. I know I cannot call, and I know I should not cry. I don't know if I can do this. It keep replaying in my mind. First you can and will get through this. Second go through the emotions, do not fight them. Allow yourself to cry, scream and feel bad for a bit. Then try to let it go. Get a pen and paper and write hard and fast all that your feeling and thinking, post often on LS. Beat up a pillow or two. Third after you do those things follow it up with a long run or walk, a good meal. You will not feel like doing either but it will help. Finally keep NC. All that your feeling is natural and what everyone here has felt. It will get better, you will be ok, give yourself some time and kindness.
Author LostInTurn Posted August 15, 2010 Author Posted August 15, 2010 I have, cried and cried, and cried some more. There are days when I'm ok and then there are what i call 'bad days'. I will just text my friends 'bad day' and they instantly know and are there. I cry because I feel so lost. I feel like, as ridiculous that it sounds, it's all my fault... and it's not. I don't want to cry anymore because I am tired of crying over this. There is nothing I can do about it. I don't want to think about it anymore. I have so much I want to say, that I know even if I did call, he wouldn't answer. Not dialing his number is not easy.
ishmaiel Posted August 16, 2010 Posted August 16, 2010 There are days when I'm ok and then there are what i call 'bad days'. I will just text my friends 'bad day' and they instantly know and are there. Take comfort in your friendships - ask and use the help your friends extend. Don't isolate yourself, talk about how you feel, to people or here, and the days will pass with you getting stronger (small bit by small bit) each day. I feel for you - I know what it's like.
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