Pianoguy Posted August 15, 2010 Posted August 15, 2010 I've been getting some great advice from the community here, so I'd like to give something back! Going through loss isn't fun, and if you're like me, you have things to do and can't spend every waking moment thinking about your loss. If you're going NC or not, this has been what's really helped me. Makes rules for yourself and post them somewhere visible -- like a whiteboard or on the door of your bedroom. For myself, when I write a plan out, it's easier for me to stick to it. The whiteboard in my room has some notes on it: "Live to the fullest every day" "Take control of your own life" "Don't lean on her for anything" "Stay busy, stay positive, stay fun" "Don't contact her for at least a week" -- and I wrote the last time of contact just to make sure I won't cheat "Meet new people, make new friends" If more helpful rules for myself come up, I'll put them up there and see them every morning. When I have an urge to contact her, I'll write what I want to say and any questions that I want to hear from here. Often times in just writing it out I'll see that I'm not in the right frame of mind and be thankful that I didn't try to make contact. If you REALLY feel like you have to talk to someone that broke your heart (which is dangerous thinking already), make sure you are at your absolute strongest when you do. Hang out with friends, do something that makes you feel confident, go in with a plan, and keep your cool. If you're trying to calm things down with an ex, they should be able to enjoy talking to you. That being said, the first step is still taking control of your own life -- in fact, you may not feel the need to call her after you do. Hope this helps!
Recommended Posts