Need an outside perspective.

[atwitsend11]

I recently have found out that my wife has been in contact with an ex from her past. It all started about 3 weeks ago when she mentioned to me that she had found a friend she had been looking for, for the past 10 years. Later that day her friend was over and I overheard my wife telling her thatn she has found "x" and that she was sorry that she had let it end the way it did and that he did'nt deserve that.

 

When my wife had originally told me about him she had mentioned that he actually lives in a state very close to us. A few days after that she brought up us taking a trip to said state for vacation because she wanted to go to a certain festival there. She knows for a fact that I would not want to spend my vacation time at that festival so when I said no she was very quick to just offer to go alone. At this point the flags started going up in my head. When I mentioned to her that maybe we should go somewhere that we both enjoy she got pissed and said that she was going to the festival.

 

So a few days later I pick up her laptop to check my email (mine is broken so we both share hers) and she has some pictures open. They are love letters she has kept for 10 years and she had photographed them all to email to him, I am assuming. At this point I'm feeling sorta hurt, not because she was had these things but because when we got serious she made she to let me know that all artifacts of my past relationships had to go...even things that were given to me by ex when we were friends, before we were together.

 

I've been cheated on quite a bit in the past and I'm very intuitive to changes in personality in my wife. She started to act a little weird at this point. She would always be on her computer, basically ignoring everything else. Late one night I got on her laptop to again and she had left her facebook tab open. I proceeded to check her messages (yes, I'm aware that this is a violation of trust without her knowing) and noticed she had been having lengthy conversations with this guy, saying thing's like she wishes she could go back in time and they could be together and that she should have given herself to him.

 

He is also married. He responds with things like he has tried to push back the feelings he has in his heart for her but they deserve toi be there and she shines a light in his heart.

 

I'm sure my wife has figured out by the web history that Ive read those things because she now makes sure to log out of facebook anytime she uses it. She used to leave it permanently logged-in.

 

I'm not really quite sure what to do. Should I bring it up to her? Honestly, I'm getting that feeling I've felt in the past right before things fall apart. Thanks to any who take the time to read this.

[guccichick]

I recently have found out that my wife has been in contact with an ex from her past. It all started about 3 weeks ago when she mentioned to me that she had found a friend she had been looking for, for the past 10 years. Later that day her friend was over and I overheard my wife telling her thatn she has found "x" and that she was sorry that she had let it end the way it did and that he did'nt deserve that.

 

When my wife had originally told me about him she had mentioned that he actually lives in a state very close to us. A few days after that she brought up us taking a trip to said state for vacation because she wanted to go to a certain festival there. She knows for a fact that I would not want to spend my vacation time at that festival so when I said no she was very quick to just offer to go alone. At this point the flags started going up in my head. When I mentioned to her that maybe we should go somewhere that we both enjoy she got pissed and said that she was going to the festival.

 

So a few days later I pick up her laptop to check my email (mine is broken so we both share hers) and she has some pictures open. They are love letters she has kept for 10 years and she had photographed them all to email to him, I am assuming. At this point I'm feeling sorta hurt, not because she was had these things but because when we got serious she made she to let me know that all artifacts of my past relationships had to go...even things that were given to me by ex when we were friends, before we were together.

 

I've been cheated on quite a bit in the past and I'm very intuitive to changes in personality in my wife. She started to act a little weird at this point. She would always be on her computer, basically ignoring everything else. Late one night I got on her laptop to again and she had left her facebook tab open. I proceeded to check her messages (yes, I'm aware that this is a violation of trust without her knowing) and noticed she had been having lengthy conversations with this guy, saying thing's like she wishes she could go back in time and they could be together and that she should have given herself to him.

 

He is also married. He responds with things like he has tried to push back the feelings he has in his heart for her but they deserve toi be there and she shines a light in his heart.

 

I'm sure my wife has figured out by the web history that Ive read those things because she now makes sure to log out of facebook anytime she uses it. She used to leave it permanently logged-in.

 

I'm not really quite sure what to do. Should I bring it up to her? Honestly, I'm getting that feeling I've felt in the past right before things fall apart. Thanks to any who take the time to read this.

 

She is definitely having an emotional affair- for now. I would confront her. You have the proof. Now if you allow her to get away with this it's only going to get worse.

 

I am sorry you're going through this. It is never easy to be cheated on.

[witabix]

With what you have said and what are I presume quotes from her communication with her ex my advice is to get out now. This is not looking good, surely you can see that.

 

I don't see any redeeming words in your post. She is on her way out, or at least on her way to making your life quite miserable.

 

Save yourself and leave. I wouldn't even confront her, with what you have seen and heard, I would just leave immediately.

[seibert253]

Read what I wrote in your other thread.

Start now before it's too late.