SadandConfusedWA Posted August 15, 2010 Posted August 15, 2010 Do you do it? Say it didn't work out, you weren't terribly hurt, you just have no interest in speaking to them again. It's especially bad when you are online, and you can't block people from FB IM and they message you. Is it mean to just delete them completly?
a_woman Posted August 15, 2010 Posted August 15, 2010 sure I delete them. you can always add them maybe months down the line if the two of you actually liked eachother. if it was only a few dates they are not your friend anyway, why would you bother keeping in touch?
Eeyore79 Posted August 15, 2010 Posted August 15, 2010 (edited) I always delete people I have dated from FB. Firstly, I don't want to see them getting on with their lives and being happier than I am. Secondly, it's disrespectful to any future bf if I'm still maintaining contact with an ex. Thirdly, if it was a bad breakup then I can't bear to see their lives going on without me. I would contact them beforehand though, and say I think it's best if we cease contact now we're no longer dating, and this means deleting from FB and IM etc, and I hope that's ok. Then I go ahead and block them from every form of communication. It's best for them too, for exactly the same reasons as above - the last thing they need if they're hurt or lonely is to watch my life continue on FB, and it wouldn't be nice for their next gf if I'm maintaining contact with them. Edited August 15, 2010 by Eeyore79
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted August 15, 2010 Author Posted August 15, 2010 For me, it also kind of stings when they post pictures of being happy with some new girl. It's not that I pine after them, it just makes me feel a bit low. Who needs that? Also, I can't stand pointless, superficial chatter...
USMCHokie Posted August 15, 2010 Posted August 15, 2010 To avoid this whole issue altogther, I don't add people I'm dating to Facebook. If we're dating for a while (as in a relationship involving at least months), then I'll friend them. If it ends, I have no qualms with un-friending them. If they insist that I add them to Facebook when we first start dating, then I'll just politely decline and say that I don't do that...it just complicates things...
a_woman Posted August 15, 2010 Posted August 15, 2010 To avoid this whole issue altogther, I don't add people I'm dating to Facebook. If we're dating for a while (as in a relationship involving at least months), then I'll friend them. If it ends, I have no qualms with un-friending them. If they insist that I add them to Facebook when we first start dating, then I'll just politely decline and say that I don't do that...it just complicates things... yes I agree with this. it's easy with men, they are not into fb as much as women (on average) so it's usually a non-issue
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted August 15, 2010 Author Posted August 15, 2010 To avoid this whole issue altogther, I don't add people I'm dating to Facebook. If we're dating for a while (as in a relationship involving at least months), then I'll friend them. If it ends, I have no qualms with un-friending them. If they insist that I add them to Facebook when we first start dating, then I'll just politely decline and say that I don't do that...it just complicates things... This may be a good idea... I sort of thought that adding people that I met online will help me weed out married/attached ones - but it's more trouble than it's worth. It's hard to make a clean break when you log on and they IM you "How was your day?" and you feel bad if you ignore them. Ugh. It just drags things out. I also feel some low level sadness when things don't work out with someone, even if I am the one to break it off. I think I am going to be brave and go ahead and delete.
USMCHokie Posted August 15, 2010 Posted August 15, 2010 It just drags things out. I also feel some low level sadness when things don't work out with someone, even if I am the one to break it off. Absolutely! Even though things don't work out dating wise, it's a terrible feeling to have lost someone from your life. Part of you wants to hold onto that person, even just as a friend or acquaintance, because they brought something to your life and you don't want to lose it. But it's usually best to let go...
zengirl Posted August 15, 2010 Posted August 15, 2010 To avoid this whole issue altogther, I don't add people I'm dating to Facebook. If we're dating for a while (as in a relationship involving at least months), then I'll friend them. If it ends, I have no qualms with un-friending them. If they insist that I add them to Facebook when we first start dating, then I'll just politely decline and say that I don't do that...it just complicates things... This is my way too. Anyone I've dated and added is still on my FB. But they were all significant exes. (I have some that were already exes/friends by the time I started being on FB. But most of my exes are on there, and it's the main way we stay in contact.) I wouldn't delete them unless we had some sort of an issue. But I delete people all the time if there's no longer a reason for me to talk to them at all (like old co-workers I haven't talked to in a year or something). So, this sounds fine to me.
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted August 15, 2010 Author Posted August 15, 2010 Absolutely! Even though things don't work out dating wise, it's a terrible feeling to have lost someone from your life. Part of you wants to hold onto that person, even just as a friend or acquaintance, because they brought something to your life and you don't want to lose it. But it's usually best to let go... Exactly. My finger is on the "remove" button, yet I am hesitating. Removing them from FB is the same as removing them from my life forever
Dblock10 Posted August 15, 2010 Posted August 15, 2010 Exactly. My finger is on the "remove" button, yet I am hesitating. Removing them from FB is the same as removing them from my life forever i nearly deleted a girl i was dating then we stopped talking, i was going to remove as a friend but didnt which was just aswell because the other night she was out with mutual friends so that could have been odd
bittersweet memories Posted August 15, 2010 Posted August 15, 2010 Absolutely! Even though things don't work out dating wise, it's a terrible feeling to have lost someone from your life. Part of you wants to hold onto that person, even just as a friend or acquaintance, because they brought something to your life and you don't want to lose it. But it's usually best to let go... Oh I can totally relate to this... I hate ending anything on a negative note. Deleting them/or they deleting me makes me sad.
bittersweet memories Posted August 15, 2010 Posted August 15, 2010 Exactly. My finger is on the "remove" button, yet I am hesitating. Removing them from FB is the same as removing them from my life forever Don't delete...Just hide there status so you wont see any of there post. when you feel better you can unhide them. But don't delete them..
meerkat stew Posted August 15, 2010 Posted August 15, 2010 I add people to FB freely, even relative strangers, and have never removed anyone. There is one obsessive ex I keep friended and check on from time to time in hopes that she stays involved with others and won't focus on me again. I handle contact with her differently when she is in a relationship than when she is not for obvious reasons.
a_woman Posted August 15, 2010 Posted August 15, 2010 it's only facebook! Most people won't even notice if you take them off. Get some perspective people, chill
USMCHokie Posted August 16, 2010 Posted August 16, 2010 Don't delete...Just hide there status so you wont see any of there post. when you feel better you can unhide them. But don't delete them.. What would be the benefit in doing this...?
Star Gazer Posted August 16, 2010 Posted August 16, 2010 What would be the benefit in doing this...? So you don't see them. You can also great "lists" of people, and modify your privacy settings for just those people. I have several lists.
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted August 16, 2010 Author Posted August 16, 2010 Is there any way to block a particular person from Facebook IM?
USMCHokie Posted August 16, 2010 Posted August 16, 2010 So you don't see them. But wouldn't simpy unfriending them do the same thing...?
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted August 16, 2010 Author Posted August 16, 2010 The only problem I see with "unfriending" is that people that have dumped you would interpret it that you are so hurt by what they did, you emotionally reacted by defrending them from FB. If you didn't care, you would just leave them on.
phineas Posted August 16, 2010 Posted August 16, 2010 I hadn't thought of this. I'm FB friends with a woman that was in my arms friday then acted like we were strangers sat, blew me off sunday & is ignoring me today. I plan on never speaking to her again. If I unfriend her right after the reunion people who went will notice. I really don't want to feild questions why I did this considering this woman acted like we didn't even know each other that night when we knew each other quite well. 20yrs after highschool & i'll have to deal with highschool drama still. LOL!
Art_Critic Posted August 16, 2010 Posted August 16, 2010 If you didn't care, you would just leave them on. Actually.. if you don't care about your FB account, you would leave them on.. Why would you want someone who you have no connection to being on your friends list? Delete.. Delete.. Delete... Make your FB account and friends list all about you and your closest friends and not about some friends list number race.
confused192 Posted August 16, 2010 Posted August 16, 2010 I would just delete the person. I don't think they will think anything of it unless you have like 1500 friends on Facebook. If you have a very small and concise friends list and they ever questioned you on why you deleted them, you could just say that you only maintain FB friendships with people that you actually speak to. More than likely though, they will never ask you about it. It's probably the best thing for all parties, to be honest.
CaliGuy Posted August 16, 2010 Posted August 16, 2010 Do you do it? Say it didn't work out, you weren't terribly hurt, you just have no interest in speaking to them again. It's especially bad when you are online, and you can't block people from FB IM and they message you. Is it mean to just delete them completly? Absolutely, (I even go so far as to BLOCK them on FB -- what goes on in my life is none of their business) I've done it in the past and I'll probably do it again. In fact, I just did it recently. Not someone I was dating but someone I really DO love and would like nothing better than to have a relationship with her, however she doesn't feel the same way (never has, really). So what am I left with? I am educated every time she updates her FB page with whatever "NEW" guy she is dating this time. I really, really, really don't want to hear that. And granted, I am so thankful to have had her in my life, she really doesn't maintain a friendship with me (months go by before I hear a peep out of her, even less so if she has a new boyfriend). Really, why would anyone torture themselves by maintaining contact with an ex?! If you enjoy kicking sand in your own face by all means, knock yourself out. Me? No thank you. I really don't want to be the "option" in anyone's life when I see them far more important.
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