Are women capable of staying in love?

[ufo8mycat]

I can't deny that for women love has an expiration date.

 

Only women?

 

All women?

 

I wonder what sample size this assertion is based on. Are all the married men in affairs loving their wives?

[Woggle]

Have you heard of self-fulfilling prophecy? Because your attitude toward "all women", and, by extension, your wife, is very unattractive

 

Don't you think I wish I was wrong. I really would love to be proven wrong and at times I have tried to convince myself but I can't deny the reality of modern day relationships that is staring me right in the face.

[xxoo]

Don't you think I wish I was wrong. I really would love to be proven wrong and at times I have tried to convince myself but I can't deny the reality of modern day relationships that is staring me right in the face.

 

Once you close the door behind you at night, the only thing that matters is the reality of your relationship.

 

What reality is staring you in the face at home?

[Woggle]

Once you close the door behind you at night, the only thing that matters is the reality of your relationship.

 

What reality is staring you in the face at home?

 

The world around us still affects us. Can you deny that that these is at least some truth to what I am saying?

[TaraMaiden]

Your words ring truth.

your motivation behind them, is wrong.

 

And you know it is, because otherwise you would have no qualms sharing your input here with your wife.

but I suspect you're ashamed of what you say, and would hate her to see the things you post, because it would shatter her illusions....

[Woggle]

There are men in our society who beat the hell out of their wives, it is detrimental to society, and it is the truth. I am proud to say most men aren't like that.

 

If I posted an AOL article about woman beating most men would be appalled by it but I posted a few articles about father bashing and most women commenting were all for it.

 

I know not all women are like this but when I read stuff like this it makes me very mistrusting of the opposite sex.

[skydiveaddict]

If I posted an AOL article about woman beating most men would be appalled by it but I posted a few articles about father bashing and most women commenting were all for it.

 

I know not all women are like this but when I read stuff like this it makes me very mistrusting of the opposite sex.

 

 

I agree woggle. I dont trust them either

[BellaBellaBella]

I have been busy and haven't been able to respond. I am not afraid to divicorce and have the money to support myself.

 

I love my husband, when I met him it was a magical moment. That zing thing where there is light meeting. So what do I do with a man who has zippo sex drive. We have discussed it for years. He loves me and is attracted to me. Bottom line is he just has a low low sexual drive. He isn't into online crap or porn. Trust me he would show me.

 

We had a huge blow up over a series of 3 things Feb 2009. It blew like a volcano all my anger and frustration over the situation and all I have given and what I feel he doesn't give in return. It wasn't a great year, lots of fighting, etc. However, we never gave up. We kept working at our marriage. Because we both love each other.

 

When I am in huge destress I read a lot of books. This is a habit of a lifetime, it has always calmed me down and my mother used to shove books at me to do this. Trust me after Feb I was reading lots, and read a very interesting book about a committed menage M/F/M. It was very intriguing to me. I told my husband about it.

 

In May, we had another one of our huge fights over something that was done I felt was passive aggressive on this part. He was away on a business trip and I hung up on his rear. I had a realization that he is actually a very submissive personality and he is also not very social.

The funny part is while I appear outgoing I am truly shy. Okay, some people who know me might not believe me. The point however is I am also more submissive in personality.

 

My husband and I discussed this and we just don't really match sexually.

He just truly doesn't have it in him to be in charge. In retrospect I did and do when we have sex or make love, whatever. This realization of his personality released all the anger I was holding against him.

 

I do want him to enjoy sex. I was honest and said that I would participate whenever he wanted or if I wanted to. However, that at this point I couldn't get out of my head after meeting his needs for so long.

He shouldn't worry about it but I would take care of myself. Harsh, maybe but truthful.

 

He came back to me and suggested opening our relationship for me to have sex outside of marriage. I was appalled, I was raised very traditionally and couldn't conceive of this. However, my husband is a pretty open guy and he is not the jealous type. After some thought and research, I came back and told him I can't have sex without a relationship with feelings. That I had discovered polyamory and read about it. I would need to have feelings for a partner and probably more of a long term thing.

 

He read about it and he said it wasn't what he had in mind, but said he felt we could work it through. I ended up meeting a few men online and talking to them and chatting with them. None of them really seemed like a good match. Recently, I met someone with whom I now have deep feelings for. My BF has feelings for me as well. For a variety of reasons we will not be able to have a long term relationship. My husband has been fully aware of the situation. He has put in a boundary or two. However, he says I am happier then I have been in a long time. He sees the benefits of the situation.

 

When I made the comment to my husband about wishing I could have two husbands. He understood what I meant, he wasn't hurt. I was laughing when I said it and it was a joke. However, my husband has also brought up bringing in another woman for a threesome. My low sex drive husband

wants to bring another woman in, that is very hurtful as well. I am not bi.

 

I am honest with my husband. I am not cheating on him. I love him. I also have deep feelings toward my BF. I am just as honest with my BF and I believe he is more honest with me currently then anyone else in his entire life. I could be wrong but I don't think so. I am sure if either posted on here they would agree with this.

 

I asked my husband if the remark that I made hurt him he said no. He said the only part that did hurt him is the guilt he holds over the extreme hurt he gave me last Feb 13, 2009. No infidelity on his part.

 

My husband has read this post and said it is accurate. He says the only thing that bothers him is the Feb, part and it is due to his exteme guilt.

[whichwayisup]

You have good intentions and there is nothing wrong with your advice but I can't deny that for women love has an expiration date.

 

SOME WOMEN yes! And SOME MEN, yes!

 

NOT ALL WOMEN and NOT ALL MEN.

 

Stop focussing on the negative Wog and appreciate what you have infront of you (YOUR WIFE) and work with her to make sure your marriage doesn't go stale, doesn't get boring, doesn't fall apart.

 

You DO have a wife who loves and adores you. I wish you'd see this and trust it (aka HER) and just be happy. Live for today, make the best of each day you have with her.

 

What if she got into an accident? Or got seriously ill? Or worse......... Sorry to be morbid here, but you're going look back on yourself and wonder WHY you spent SO much time focussing on stuff that is out of your control, and wish that you had just enjoyed the life you created with your wife.

[whichwayisup]

If I posted an AOL article about woman beating most men would be appalled by it but I posted a few articles about father bashing and most women commenting were all for it.

 

I know not all women are like this but when I read stuff like this it makes me very mistrusting of the opposite sex.

 

STOP reading stuff that sets you off. It serves no purpose to you and it only spins your mind into a frenzy, making you feel worse.

 

Stay off those sites that bash men. Don't read threads with titles that will set you off.

[whichwayisup]

The world around us still affects us. Can you deny that that these is at least some truth to what I am saying?

 

Yes, bad stuff in life is all around us. It sucks, it's sad..There's so much suffering, death, pain and loss.

 

Yet you have a choice in how you handle and react to it all. How you cope with hearing/seeing/watching the bad stuff. You can choose to let it eat you up and ruin your day/night/week, or you can choose NOT let it get to you and appreciate how good your life is and how lucky you are to be alive, how blessed you are to be healthy, to have a wife, to have good friends, to have a support system here on LS who mildly at times gets frustrated with you and your rants/venting - But still stick around to give you heartfelt and caring advice.

 

It's a choice Wog.

[Bellas_DH]

Wow. She even said that she's not AFRAID TO DIVORCE, and she has money to support herself. This is why I say their marriage is done. She's already knee-deep in the shiit, that's why she's not afraid to leave his azz. Her husband needs to grow some balls, stop getting off on his wife fuccking another dude, and see his wife for what she is so that he can divorce her. Some type of wife that is.

 

I'm not going to engage in a protracted argument, but I do have two things to say:

 

1) I am totally offended by your comments to my wife and feel that they are way overboard for a public forum.

 

2) I do have a pair of balls, thank you very much, and they are big enough for me to be able to trust the woman I love while giving her the freedom to be happy and fulfilled. I'm not doing this out of any guilt or out of any perverse sexual pleasure; rather I do it for the joy I get out of seeing my wife happy.

[BellaBellaBella]

Okay to clarify something here. I stay with my husband out of love for him, not out of fear of money or anything else. I chose to stay with him as I am in love with him.

 

BTW my husband has the right to tell me to stop my relationship with my BF or slow it down.

 

My BF has also read this thread and said that you guys are going to crash the board throwing stones at us.

 

All I can say is that I am incredibly blessed to have the husband I do.

[Bellas_DH]

:lmao:

 

Really?LOL!!!! Wow.

 

1. Even though you have a pair, your wife openly admitted on a public forum that you don't even use them.LOL. How offending is that?

 

2. Like I said earlier, you need to stop thinking with your dicck, and use your head. Your wife is playing you, and she said that she will divorce you without fear. You are doing it out of sexual pleasure. It doesn't matter how you phrase it. Open your eyes.

 

Common sense and a lot of years on the Internet tell me that it's time to put out the "Do Not Feed The Toll" sign.

 

One thing, though... your profile indicates that you read alot. I take it that Robert Heinlein is not among the authors whose works you have read.

[turnstone]

Get over it Wogs. Every now and then you post these types of threads, out of fear, your past hurts...I know alot of this is just venting,

 

Or out of attention seeking? Are you actually married Woggle?

 

Bella, you don't have to justify yourself, your husband or your situation to anyone, let alone someone who is only insulting you.

 

Bitterman and Woggle could be the same person.

[Tony]

OK, this has gone on long enough. Woggle, take a vacation. Thanks!