electricity Posted August 15, 2010 Posted August 15, 2010 I wonder if I'm just being unreasonable. I recently moved across an ocean for work. My SO's been supportive of my decision to take this assignment and we chat online pretty much everyday. He's been really busy with work lately though, and doesn't tell me much other than how much work annoys him. I send him emails throughout the day of new things I'm experiencing, but he rarely responds to them. I feel like I'm trying to bridge the distance and share things with him, but he's not responding. I feel like he's slipping away and not really keeping me in his life. At the same time, it doesn't feel like he cares about what I'm going through. Moving countries is a pretty big change, and I'm trying to keep him updated on my new experiences, acquaintances, fears, what have you, and it just doesn't feel like he cares. He either makes jokes about my fears or flat out doesn't respond. What more can I do? I've tried asking him to keep me more in the loop. The time difference makes things hard; we can only webcam on weekends (weekdays he's asleep during my evenings and I'm at work during his). I feel like he won't compromise (shifting his sleep schedule an hour earlier could give us an hour of webcam time in my evenings/his mornings).
carhill Posted August 15, 2010 Posted August 15, 2010 1. Schedule communication. I learned this years ago when in regular contact with a couple ladies from Ukraine. This was long before 'webcams' and 'skype'. It was international calling card phone back then. 2. Make plans for visits. If you want a LDR to work, each of you must look forward with a clear timeline to pressing the flesh. No excuses. It's a choice. Prioritize it. This presumes you wish to maintain your relationship. If work is more of a priority for both of you, end it and date people locally. 3. Quality. Even if it's just a few minutes stuffed into a busy day, make that communication count. You have no control over how he acts or feels, only yourself. If he's losing interest, accept that. Don't 'chase' him. 'I feel like I'm not a priority anymore. This saddens me. How do you feel about that?' Listen. Accept.
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