Tell her I have a crush on her?

[Green]

If the word "date" scares a girl who wants to date you away, she is either very young or very emotionally unhealthy. The truth is she doesn't want to date you. Now, granted, sometimes, the gal would've said yes, if you'd only asked, and sometimes she would've said no. But, by NOT ASKING or making your intentions clear, you've caused yourself most of the pain. Always been my point.

 

Haha believe me you'd be suprised what scares and creeps girls out... pretty much anything when its comming from a man. This is what puts these guys into this "friend" state of mind. Its also FEAR of rejection. It was pure hornyness that finaly taught me to be FOWARD and CLEAR and TRY. After my first sucess with a woman even though we broke up... I found that I had new found confidence and after my second gf I had no problem getting dates.

 

At the same time, you don't literally need to use the word to make it clear it's a date. "Go out" for instance would also tell me the fellow meant a date. There are other ways of phrasing. It's when men actively bury their intentions and think that some mild flirting and spending time with a girl = a date in her mind that it becomes a problem.

 

He just needs to be HIMSELF and SHOW his true INTENTIONS by being ROMANTIC. 1) flirt 2) touch 3) and most important go in for a kiss.

 

If you say, "Let's see a concert Friday night," (actually, if I don't yet KNOW you, and it's not a group thing, I'm guessing this right here is a date -- unless you give me some nonchalant nonsense that convinces me otherwise; if you are direct and assertive about it, this would be enough for me to consider it a date; though the same behavior from long-term platonic friends wouldn't be. . . because they're long-term platonic friends, not that I've ever gone to a concert with just 1 friend anyway) and you get dressed up, and you call to confirm, and you pick her up, and you pay for things, and you try to flirt heavily, hold her hand, etc. . . yes, a girl is an idiot if she thinks it's not a date.

 

Basicaly any guy who makes the effort to hang out with a girl alone on a regular basis (Other then work lunchs, or short breaks before class) is romanticaly interested in that girl on some level. Doesn't mean he goes home and thinks about her all the time... but at a minimum if the right circumstances came up they would act.

 

If you say, "Let's go grab a sandwich after class/at lunch/Sunday/etc" and you meet her there, have some normal conversation, etc, then you're an idiot for thinking it's a date.

 

And there is everything in between. The issue is when you're HIDING your intentions. Not the specific verbiage you use.

 

What does it matter if he thinks its a date... Its an oportunity to be romantic and you're and idiot if you don't see that.

 

 

And I realize some men are so stubborn they think that dating is fully one-sided and the girl is basically not present and has NO IDEA what happened to her on dates. I've been on many dates with many men. It is patently clear that I'm providing the female perspective I offer and that my personal experiences differ from yours, but I am drawing from them. . . just from the other side of the table.

 

Bottom line in the VERY BEGINING its up to the guy to do ALL the TRYING for the most part, and up to the girl to ACCEPT or REJECT... that just the way it is set up. So thats the way it is one sided and yes girls are often clueless to what is actualy going on, other men often have easier reads on the true motives of other men when compared to women.

 

You have no personal experiences being my friend or even meeting them to know this. All men don't think like you, just as all women don't think like me.

 

I have personal experiences being in "locker room" situations where guys talk real for a moment and joke around about whats really going on. Something you as a woman will never experience.

 

And your boundaries are not conducive to mine. What of it? It doesn't mean any of my SO's have been ill-treated.

 

I think making your SO worry about something they shouldn't have to worry about is ill treatment. In the end if your SO's didn't speak up they deserve what ever treatment they got. Then again you've never been engaged (I'm guessing) and some one willing to comit to you on that level would be more likely to be a person to speak up and not just sit back and let things fly.

 

My mother is married, yes. My mother has very few friends outside of my step-father and her family, but she has a male co-worker I know she goes to lunch with alone sometimes. He's the only person in her whole department she can stand, as the rest are Fundies. My step-father has an old female friend from HS, but they're both married now and most of their time is spent as doubling (couples). It's different when you've been married for 10 years or more. . . and have had kids. . . mostly, you don't have loads of time for spending time 1 on 1 with anyone. They rarely do that with their same-gender friends.

 

A 1 on 1 lunch with a co-worker wasn't exactly what I was talking about. I was more refering to the types of friendships you describe in yourself while being married.

 

Of course, she doesn't go on trips with other men. . . neither do I, frankly. Actually, except for my SO or maybe my Mom, I can't think of a time I went on a trip with only 1 person. I will, of course, go on a trip with a Co Ed group and certainly have. My parents do this too. Generally, together, as they do everything together, but that's the kind of folks they are. I've no issues with this, and generally speaking, when I've had a serious SO, he's very involved in my life and almost always welcome to come along when I socialize. But there's only so much time in the day, but he may choose not to.

 

So you yourself admit that men and women have certain boundaries... or do you think its just a coincidence? Its just interesting how your mind works.

 

 

Yeah, Most people with control issues feel they cannot fully control themselves.

 

I don't feel I have control issues. Most people describe me as laid back although I can become intense.

 

I think I may have comunicated the wrong msg to you. What I meant to say was I've been throug unbearable pain on every level a person can experience that pain and it effected me greatly. I wish I could have controled the path my life had taken but I realize that I can't even do that. I realize how easily life can be destroyed even if you want so desperatly to live.

 

I let life take its course and control is not something I find absolute. I don't think it is controling to disasociate from people you don't care for otherwise I'd be living a lie controled by some one elses terms.

 

I searched for unique, powerful, energy in a woman and found it.

 

I

've lived with my SO before. Sure, it has it's ups and downs (what doesn't?), but that's not what you said that I was referring to. You said, you weren't sure if it was better than being single, except single felt lonely. You said it in response to me saying I felt most men in good relationships generally feel lucky to have found them.

 

I do feel lucky and I have no reason to be with her other then the happyness and energy she brings to my life.

 

It just makes my life more complicated some times and I was frustrated. And what I wrote was in context to something some one else wrote.

[meerkat stew]

If the word "date" scares a girl who wants to date you away, she is either very young or very emotionally unhealthy. The truth is she doesn't want to date you.

 

How many women have you dated again? Most if not all men learn relatively early that asking a woman who has mild interest (and why on earth would she have any more than a fence-riding kind of mild interest in a man at that stage?) "Hey, want to go on a date Friday night?" is more likely than not to get a rejection in return. I don't really know why this is, it just is, and wouldn't bother typing it out if I did know the reason because I'm pretty certain you wouldn't accept my 30 years of dating women as valid experience in comparison to yours. It doesn't mean you shouldn't ask a woman out for specific plans, but nix the word "date" if you don't want to have some rejections that would have been acceptances.

 

But, by NOT ASKING or making your intentions clear, you've caused yourself most of the pain. Always been my point.

 

I can agree with this, there are ways to ask a woman out to do something that don't use the word "date" yet leave no uncertainty as to your intentions. OP, learn those ways.

 

At the same time, you don't literally need to use the word to make it clear it's a date. "Go out" for instance would also tell me the fellow meant a date. There are other ways of phrasing. It's when men actively bury their intentions and think that some mild flirting and spending time with a girl = a date in her mind that it becomes a problem.

 

It's just not that complicated, and Green and others have a point that I will try to flesh out. When a woman (not you, not your friends, but many women that many men here have experienced over many years) is asked to do something by a man, two levels of analysis take place in her mind:

 

1)Do I want to go on a date with this guy (could I see the possibility of myself sleeping with him/building a relationship with him)?

 

2) If I don't want to date this guy, but what he is offering me is really cool, expensive, interesting, gives me something to do, I'm single and lonely etc., will I be able to successfully rationalize my accepting his invitation, attention and largesse while still keeping him at arm's length as someone I don't want to date?

 

That's really about the size of it. And that kind of duplicitous rationalizing is what drives men to distraction on this issue. We see it taking place and hope to turn it around, at least until we learn not to be suckers. In many cases, women can be quite enthusiastic about a man and doing things that are -obviously- dates, and then once the man's expectations come to light as far as attempting to build a complete relationship, then it's "O well, I certainly didn't mean to lead you on, but I think of you as a great friend, and don't have feelings for you in other respects ("because I am banging an out of work musician while you are taking me out to do all these cool things").

 

Sometimes... some... times... it's possible that a woman could genuinely believe she is being asked to do something completely platonic on a friendly level. But in a vast majority of cases, it's either 1) or 2) above, not a case of misunderstood intent.

[homersheineken]

Dude you should know better than to tell her. Haven't you been reading my threads

 

As Green would say, next time you are with her, try to Kiss her.

Yep. Don't tell her you like her, show her.

[Green]

 

It's just not that complicated, and Green and others have a point that I will try to flesh out. When a woman (not you, not your friends, but many women that many men here have experienced over many years) is asked to do something by a man, two levels of analysis take place in her mind:

 

Oh man I must remember the way you introduced your analysis because it was great. emphesis on the "When a woman (not you, not your friends, but many women..." haha

 

1)Do I want to go on a date with this guy (could I see the possibility of myself sleeping with him/building a relationship with him)?

 

2) If I don't want to date this guy, but what he is offering me is really cool, expensive, interesting, gives me something to do, I'm single and lonely etc., will I be able to successfully rationalize my accepting his invitation, attention and largesse while still keeping him at arm's length as someone I don't want to date?

 

That's really about the size of it. And that kind of duplicitous rationalizing is what drives men to distraction on this issue. We see it taking place and hope to turn it around, at least until we learn not to be suckers. In many cases, women can be quite enthusiastic about a man and doing things that are -obviously- dates, and then once the man's expectations come to light as far as attempting to build a complete relationship, then it's "O well, I certainly didn't mean to lead you on, but I think of you as a great friend, and don't have feelings for you in other respects ("because I am banging an out of work musician while you are taking me out to do all these cool things").

 

Sometimes... some... times... it's possible that a woman could genuinely believe she is being asked to do something completely platonic on a friendly level. But in a vast majority of cases, it's either 1) or 2) above, not a case of misunderstood intent.

 

I think you actually said it better then I did. Yes its all about learning not to be suckers and learning to read women. Which comes from the experience of asking out and going on dates more then one women.

 

The best way to flush out a girl who is in it just for a friendly type situation or an actual relationship is being romantic 1) flirting 2) touching 3) kissing.... plus you may be able to create attraction with that first kiss.

[dispatch3d]

Oh man I must remember the way you introduced your analysis because it was great. emphesis on the "When a woman (not you, not your friends, but many women..." haha

 

 

 

I think you actually said it better then I did. Yes its all about learning not to be suckers and learning to read women. Which comes from the experience of asking out and going on dates more then one women.

 

The best way to flush out a girl who is in it just for a friendly type situation or an actual relationship is being romantic 1) flirting 2) touching 3) kissing.... plus you may be able to create attraction with that first kiss.

 

4) Don't be a sucker and offer to pay for literally everything. Make sure everything/most **** is 50/50. For example if you are taking the bus to some spot and she hits you up for the ****ing bus fair YOUR SCREWED. Get out now. It sounds minor and stupid, but if she's hitting you up for the $1.25 to get on the bus then she's going to be hitting you up for a lot more ****+only thinking of herself.

 

The physical thing should take care of this though. You'll only get hit up for like 1-3 dates MAX, and if you are going physical early probably only one.

[Green]

4) Don't be a sucker and offer to pay for literally everything. Make sure everything/most **** is 50/50. For example if you are taking the bus to some spot and she hits you up for the ****ing bus fair YOUR SCREWED. Get out now. It sounds minor and stupid, but if she's hitting you up for the $1.25 to get on the bus then she's going to be hitting you up for a lot more ****+only thinking of herself.

 

The physical thing should take care of this though. You'll only get hit up for like 1-3 dates MAX, and if you are going physical early probably only one.

 

I think as a man its a good investment to front end some money. Like take a girl out to eat and pay... and then let her pay for desert... obviously once things get more serious say 3rd or 4th date you need to alternate between who pays for what and keep it close to 50/50. If its a situation where the girl makes way more or way less and the events being done are hard on the poorer person then things might not be able to be 50/50

 

But I agree with everything you wrote.

[meerkat stew]

Oh man I must remember the way you introduced your analysis because it was great. emphesis on the "When a woman (not you, not your friends, but many women..." haha

 

It was actually a backhanded compliment towards zengirl, as it seems she has been fortunate enough to grow up and socialize with an elite set of high quality people, and may not realize the difference between her and her social set, and the games that lots of people deal with dating average folks, especially as they age some.

 

The best way to flush out a girl who is in it just for a friendly type situation or an actual relationship is being romantic 1) flirting 2) touching 3) kissing.... plus you may be able to create attraction with that first kiss.

 

Couldn't agree more.

[dispatch3d]

I think as a man its a good investment to front end some money. Like take a girl out to eat and pay... and then let her pay for desert... obviously once things get more serious say 3rd or 4th date you need to alternate between who pays for what and keep it close to 50/50. If its a situation where the girl makes way more or way less and the events being done are hard on the poorer person then things might not be able to be 50/50

 

But I agree with everything you wrote.

 

I only pay so-much that I conform to social norms (assuring she doesn't pass on me for being "cheap" just because society says guys should pay for something). This kind of goes for favours as well. There's no need to go do a ****load of favours for her for no good reason. She isn't going to sleep with you because you bought her an 11.95 steak, gave her a ride to work everyday, and did her taxes.

[Philetus]

In any event, I'm wondering if I should be more forward with my flirting; damn near to the point of letting her know I've got a crush on her. Have I lost my marbles?? It freaking feels like it. Why the eff can't I make a move?? I don't usually flake like this.

 

In any event, I need some advice. I'm thinking of just going no contact with her until I figure out wtf to do; because I can't do another friendly fu*king outing with her when I want more.

 

Thanks in advance for the advice guys.

 

For God's sake, YES!

 

Here's what you do. She's standing somewhere, you walk up to her, look her into the eye and say, "I like you".

 

That's it. Be BOLD!

[zengirl]

He just needs to be HIMSELF and SHOW his true INTENTIONS by being ROMANTIC. 1) flirt 2) touch 3) and most important go in for a kiss.

 

It's the way you phrase it that makes it sound icky. I definitely agree with showing your true intentions. Fellows who are intensely physical early on --- particularly if they are doing it consciously to "test" things --- creep me out. (That's not to say I find a kiss on a first date creepy, but I think physical actions need to be backed up by other clear signs of intention. And not done as test balloons. I hate test balloons.)

 

What is equally lame is men framing something as friendship -- and some men do this (I'm not talking about something so simple as not mentioning the word "date" but actively hiding their real goals) -- and then blaming the girl for "Not knowing" how they felt and respecting it. I find this equally lame if women do it, and they do too. They cloud their own intentions and then build up anger and resentment over it. It's silly.

 

Basicaly any guy who makes the effort to hang out with a girl alone on a regular basis (Other then work lunchs, or short breaks before class) is romanticaly interested in that girl on some level. Doesn't mean he goes home and thinks about her all the time... but at a minimum if the right circumstances came up they would act.

 

I disagree with that, because of my personal experience. I do agree if it happens early on in a platonic dynamic, that's rare. My good male friends don't want to date me. They just don't. We spend time together because we've been friends for a long time. That said, I've never had a SO that objected to them or got any weird vibes about it, and I've never had an issue with ANY of their SOs and some have even become good friends of mine. I think the girls/guys who find there's friction in these areas (unless they're just dating the odd jealous person here and there, but as a pattern) likely have some other motives hidden below the surface.

 

I have personal experiences being in "locker room" situations where guys talk real for a moment and joke around about whats really going on. Something you as a woman will never experience.

 

I have a feeling that the guys you hang with and the guys I know aren't exactly the same fellows was my point.

 

I think making your SO worry about something they shouldn't have to worry about is ill treatment. In the end if your SO's didn't speak up they deserve what ever treatment they got. Then again you've never been engaged (I'm guessing) and some one willing to comit to you on that level would be more likely to be a person to speak up and not just sit back and let things fly.

 

I've been engaged. My HS sweetheart died 3 weeks before we were supposed to be married. Some of my best guy friends (though not all) are friends I've had since then, and one in particular is his brother. I've lived with someone else, and we were briefly engaged but it's a long story, and basically, I didn't feel I could marry him. I've been proposed to two other times -- one was mainly to get me to the UK to be with him, because there was no other way short of marriage, and one was a Korean fellow and Koreans marry way too quickly.

 

I find most people get upset about secrecy or attention-seeking behavior. Not male friends. I don't have some random wound that needs to be healed by seeking male attention. My SOs haven't really been ill-treated. I'm not saying I'm perfect. But I don't cheat or ignore them or belittle them or anything else like that. I am human, and I've had to break up with or hurt people. But I've never lied, cheated, or done anything one would consider a major relationship sin. All my exes are on friendly terms with me. We're not "friends" in the "hang out all the time" sense, though some are in groups with mutual friends.

 

FWIW, I've had male roommates too. Never slept with them and never would. This is fairly common in my social circle---having roommates of either gender. (Though most of my roommates have been female.) I lived with two male friends and a female friend for a bit in a big house, and one of those fellows is now my ex-SO's best friend. I'm a very sociable person and thus know loads of cool people of both genders.

 

So you yourself admit that men and women have certain boundaries... or do you think its just a coincidence? Its just interesting how your mind works.

 

I think the boundaries are much more about clear communication, physical situations, and such. I mean, even with traveling, I might travel with a male friend. But I'd never share a room with him. I'd never share a bedroom with any fellow who wasn't my SO. I wouldn't let them see me naked or in anything I wouldn't consider entirely decent. That doesn't mean I can't be alone with them and share a meal or something without it being romantic. Your boundaries are super-rigid and weird to me. Of course, I don't really walk around naked around my female friends. I suppose I'd more readily share rooms with them, but that's the only major difference I can think of offhand. I don't think that an SO should object to my dancing with someone else on occasion (in a chaste way; I'm talking like at a friend's wedding) or seeing a movie with them or sharing a meal or going over to their house to play video games or watch LOST or whatnot, and, really, they never have. Because there's nothing to object about.

 

It was actually a backhanded compliment towards zengirl, as it seems she has been fortunate enough to grow up and socialize with an elite set of high quality people, and may not realize the difference between her and her social set, and the games that lots of people deal with dating average folks, especially as they age some.

 

It's not that I don't understand they exist. I just don't understand why anyone wants to put up with bull**** and indulge or associate with people on those levels. My life is happy and my social set is high quality because of my choices. I've met these people you speak of, and my points are: The ways to "catch" them generally don't work on/sometimes actively keep away high quality people. We don't know that you're just bull****ting because you think everybody else does and you'd really rather not be; we just see another bull****ter. That's my take.

 

It's not that I'm sheltered from this. It's that I actively avoid it. Too many people want to "win" at it, but there is no winning. It's like emotional Vietnam or something.

[dispatch3d]

Basicaly any guy who makes the effort to hang out with a girl alone on a regular basis (Other then work lunchs, or short breaks before class) is romanticaly interested in that girl on some level. Doesn't mean he goes home and thinks about her all the time... but at a minimum if the right circumstances came up they would act.

 

zengirl, the above paragraph is also true in my experience as well. If a guy regularly hangs out with a girl on an individual basis then he HAS a romantic interest. It is that frigin simple. Cut and dry. There are few guys I hang out with EVERYDAY or on an individual basis all the time. It is not something the male population does. We go out and do **** with our friends. We don't get together and chat for a couple hours then leave. Doesn't happen. We get together and play starcraft II or soccer yadayada.

 

I have several good female friends and I would not invite them to hang out with on an individual basis. I tried to hang out with a female friend on an individual basis who I REALLY didn't want to have a relationship with and I STILL ended up liking her. I now avoid her. She tried to refriend me again lately - not cool.

[somedude81]

I do agree if it happens early on in a platonic dynamic, that's rare. My good male friends don't want to date me.

This thread isn't about girls that are long time good friends. In the OP Conflicted said he's only hung out with her twice.

 

If a guy has known a girl for a relatively short period of time, him wanting to spend time alone with her his an indication of interest. Some guys are shyer than others and will suggest something like getting lunch after class. A guy will not even waste his time inviting her out unless he was interested. The exception being there was some work/school etc purpose.

 

It's as simple as that.

[ConflictedGuy27]

so she texts me last night.

 

she was asking for pictures from our outing earlier. I started playfully giving her a hard time - no more than 5 messages exchanged.

 

we basically get into playful negotiations about what it's gonna take for me to share the pics. I tell her dinner at my place sometime this week.

 

lol, she went silent.

 

I'm actually pleased with her response (silence) because I think she gets that I'm romantically interested no; especially if she wasn't sure before.

[meerkat stew]

It's not that I don't understand they exist. I just don't understand why anyone wants to put up with bull**** and indulge or associate with people on those levels.

 

Waaiiit just a minute. This thread is about relative strangers, would be nice if people wore neon signs as to their behavior but they don't. Many guys take a woman on several dates before the "just friends" comes out, and it would be fine if her feelings just changed, but all too often, he never had a chance from the gate. Of course they screen them out then, but it isn't exactly a matter of "putting up with BS," but more a matter of not seeing the BS in true form until time has already been commited, then making the decision as to whether something is salvageable or not. My point was that perhaps you have been fortunate in being raised not to use men for attention/money/cool stuff whom you aren't interested in, perhaps your friends are similar, but that doesn't change that it does go on with high frequency.

[dispatch3d]

lol dude ahhh next time diner at HER place (not yours!). **** why do you want to cook food she's the one who wants something from you (pictures).

[ConflictedGuy27]

lol dude ahhh next time diner at HER place (not yours!). **** why do you want to cook food she's the one who wants something from you (pictures).

 

haha. I think I was more concerned about being as blunt as possible with her regarding my intent - that's what the whole my place thing was about.

 

she actually turned me off this am when she replied to my text by saying "uh, still haven't seen pics..."

 

how bossy is that?? lol. I havent replied.

I've decided to back off for awhile - now that I think about it, I've seen some tendencies that remind me of my ex; which is bad, considering how little time we've spent getting to know each other.

 

there's this definite, push pull, I like you but you suck vibe that reminds me all too much of my previous relationship.

[Green]

haha. I think I was more concerned about being as blunt as possible with her regarding my intent - that's what the whole my place thing was about.

 

she actually turned me off this am when she replied to my text by saying "uh, still haven't seen pics..."

 

how bossy is that?? lol. I havent replied.

I've decided to back off for awhile - now that I think about it, I've seen some tendencies that remind me of my ex; which is bad, considering how little time we've spent getting to know each other.

 

there's this definite, push pull, I like you but you suck vibe that reminds me all too much of my previous relationship.

 

Just take her out on another date and kiss her... have some fun. take some more pics of you two.

 

Just txt her back you havn't had time for the pics yet lol.

 

now get her out again and kiss her... if nothing more... then for practice and FUN

[dispatch3d]

"stop gold digging you!!!" would have said something like that....

[zengirl]

This thread isn't about girls that are long time good friends. In the OP Conflicted said he's only hung out with her twice.

 

If a guy has known a girl for a relatively short period of time, him wanting to spend time alone with her his an indication of interest. Some guys are shyer than others and will suggest something like getting lunch after class. A guy will not even waste his time inviting her out unless he was interested. The exception being there was some work/school etc purpose.

 

It's as simple as that.

 

Sure. Which is why my original advice was to make his intentions known plain as day, without saying silly words like "Crush."

 

The other assertions derived in response to others All or Nothing generalized comments about male/female dynamics. Green is very fond about saying "Any time a man and woman are alone" and all that nonsense.

[zengirl]

Basicaly any guy who makes the effort to hang out with a girl alone on a regular basis (Other then work lunchs, or short breaks before class) is romanticaly interested in that girl on some level. Doesn't mean he goes home and thinks about her all the time... but at a minimum if the right circumstances came up they would act.

 

zengirl, the above paragraph is also true in my experience as well. If a guy regularly hangs out with a girl on an individual basis then he HAS a romantic interest. It is that frigin simple. Cut and dry. There are few guys I hang out with EVERYDAY or on an individual basis all the time. It is not something the male population does. We go out and do **** with our friends. We don't get together and chat for a couple hours then leave. Doesn't happen. We get together and play starcraft II or soccer yadayada.

 

I have several good female friends and I would not invite them to hang out with on an individual basis. I tried to hang out with a female friend on an individual basis who I REALLY didn't want to have a relationship with and I STILL ended up liking her. I now avoid her. She tried to refriend me again lately - not cool.

 

I don't see how anyone could be your good friend if you actively avoid hanging with them on an individual basis. Most of my time with any of my friends isn't 1-on-1, but I couldn't consider anyone a close friend if I needed to avoid it.

 

I'm also sure that men like you think this way. I mean, clearly you think differently than the people I choose to associate with in life; that should be clear from all the discussions we've had.

[Green]

I don't see how anyone could be your good friend if you actively avoid hanging with them on an individual basis. Most of my time with any of my friends isn't 1-on-1, but I couldn't consider anyone a close friend if I needed to avoid it.

 

I'm also sure that men like you think this way. I mean, clearly you think differently than the people I choose to associate with in life; that should be clear from all the discussions we've had.

 

Your in denial zengirl... We're not saying that your "friends" as you think of them are going to try anything with you... just saying that it wouldn't suprise me. Also saying that if the opportunity came up and you seemed willing they would be up for it if they put alone time in with you. They are probably hoping for an oportunity.

 

Believe what you want but you are not going to convince me just as I don't expect to convince you. It's enough for me to lay the reality out for you even if you deny it.

 

If you ever asked that male friend who goes out to dinners and makes alone time with you for a kiss... I gaurantee he would do it with out hesitation. (unless he has a gf or something) and in that case he is friends with you and has an alone relationship for the dubious necesity of having a saftey raft gf.

[somedude81]

Sure. Which is why my original advice was to make his intentions known plain as day, without saying silly words like "Crush."

 

The other assertions derived in response to others All or Nothing generalized comments about male/female dynamics. Green is very fond about saying "Any time a man and woman are alone" and all that nonsense.

Yeah that's fine. The dynamics do change on how long the people have known each other and how they know each other.

 

Though it's not uncommon for a guy to hold a candle for a girl for a year or more and hoping that each time they hang out will be the time they hook up. Of course the girl has long ago decided that the guy is just a friend.

[Green]

Yeah that's fine. The dynamics do change on how long the people have known each other and how they know each other.

 

Though it's not uncommon for a guy to hold a candle for a girl for a year or more and hoping that each time they hang out will be the time they hook up. Of course the girl has long ago decided that the guy is just a friend.

 

Please, not only is it not uncommon but if she is attractive like she says... heck even if she is not attractive... and the guy going to dinner and hanging out with her is single (not in a comitted relationship) then I would bet my life on some level of sexual interest in her.

 

She is clueless

[dispatch3d]

I don't see how anyone could be your good friend if you actively avoid hanging with them on an individual basis. Most of my time with any of my friends isn't 1-on-1, but I couldn't consider anyone a close friend if I needed to avoid it.

 

I'm also sure that men like you think this way. I mean, clearly you think differently than the people I choose to associate with in life; that should be clear from all the discussions we've had.

 

Thanks, I appreciate the unprovoked insult - even if it's in subtext.

[Green]

Thanks, I appreciate the unprovoked insult - even if it's in subtext.

 

She did the same thing to me so don't take it personaly. Irational personal attacks seem to be the norm around here.