onthebrinkofitall Posted August 14, 2010 Posted August 14, 2010 Well, after a year of marriage and an almost 8 year relationship, it's over. My husband and I aren't divorced yet but it's coming. He left at the end of April but we stayed in contact throughout the summer, still going out together and him staying the night. Then he just stopped. He's been over maybe a couple times in the past month/month and a half. He hardly ever calls me.. it takes him hours to respond to text messages. He's told me that his life is better without me in it and he has to cut me out. He's been going out with friends, to bars or just out drinking. It makes me so angry to think that he has all the time in the world to go hang out and drink with his friends but can't even respond to a text message from me. I picked up a couple self-help books and I've been reading them for a few days but no great epiphany yet. I feel like all I do is cry. I broke down at the grocery store the other day when I saw a can of Arizona Green Tea because he always used to drink it. Every song I listen to is depressing, even if it's supposed to be a happy song. If I watch a movie, I wish he was there to watch it with me. I haven't cleaned my house or done laundry. I barely eat. I'll go days without sleeping then I'll sleep for days. I broke down today and begged him to come back, to give us another chance. His reply was, I'm sorry but the answer is no. I feel pathetic for acting like that but my only thought was, what if it works? If it gets him back, then it's worth it. I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm losing it and the constant crying is very draining. I don't know that I'm looking for advice.. it feels impossible that I'll ever get over this. I guess I just want to know that I'm not alone.
nokturn Posted August 14, 2010 Posted August 14, 2010 You're definitely not alone.. I'm not saying I'm going through the exact situation as you but I've gone through those feelings of it being impossible to do anything, getting depressed, you name it. For me, it's a breakup, but I felt it was a great loss,at least in the beginning. I really think what you're doing -- reading self help books is a good start because that's what I did in the beginning too. Adding LS to that is even better. I'm sure all the other wonderful LS folks will jump in on this soon.. We're looking out for you
GrayClouds Posted August 14, 2010 Posted August 14, 2010 Maybe think about working with a professional to help you through some of you feelings. And pick up the book "Journey from Abandonment to Healing, it will give you tools to get through the hurt. Sorry about your loss, it does get better.
Author onthebrinkofitall Posted August 15, 2010 Author Posted August 15, 2010 Maybe think about working with a professional to help you through some of you feelings. And pick up the book "Journey from Abandonment to Healing, it will give you tools to get through the hurt. Sorry about your loss, it does get better. Thanks for the book recommendation. I'll definitely check it out.
skydiveaddict Posted August 15, 2010 Posted August 15, 2010 I agree w/greyclouds, although I've never been throught it myself, I know that divorce is horrible and may require medical treatment
Author onthebrinkofitall Posted August 16, 2010 Author Posted August 16, 2010 I made an appointment to go see a counselor this week. I'm hoping this helps.. I'm starting to feel like I'm crazy.
GrayClouds Posted August 16, 2010 Posted August 16, 2010 I made an appointment to go see a counselor this week. I'm hoping this helps.. I'm starting to feel like I'm crazy. It will give you a place to get the thoughts out, and after your done that, they can help you on what you need to help yourself heal. I wish you luck, and keep posting.
Nappeal Posted August 16, 2010 Posted August 16, 2010 I needed antidepressents, Xanax, counseling, self-help books, exercise...you name it, when my Xh of 8 years left. I was a wreck, and I hurt for a long time. I felt lost w out him, so I fought for every bone he'd throw my way, no matter how little or pathetic. That ruined me and made it harder for me ot let go. Slowly I did, and I felt much better, but like I said, it took much longer then I deemed necessary or humane. Now we are civil; he will always be an important person in my life, but that chapter is over, and I am in peace as I have been for a while time now. Understand depression and then get help; sometimes its impossible to DIY. I'm here to listen BTW
ShannonMI Posted August 16, 2010 Posted August 16, 2010 I'm going through the same thing right now. I was just dumped a few months ago by my boyfriend of 8 years. I have ok days and then somedays are so hard. I cry, I think about contacting him, I feel like all I want to do is sleep, etc etc etc. I have had a few weak moments and contacted him to tell him I love and miss him and it's always the same answer "I'm sorry things are the way they are, hopefully we can be friends someday." Blah blah blah. I don't want to hear that. I want him to say "I miss you and love you and I want you back in my life." He just doesn't feel that way anymore and I have to accept it. It's still a struggle everyday. I'm seeing a therapist, I'm on medication, I've ordered selfhelp books, the whole 9 yards. Seeing a therapist is helping because I can totally vent and she gives me good feedback. It's good you are going to see one. It will help. A couple books that I ordered are "Surviving the loss of a love" and "It's a breakup, not a breakdown" I already read the 1st one I mentioned and it was very comforting. Best of luck to you
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