wendigo Posted August 14, 2010 Posted August 14, 2010 Hi I have just woken up and my day is empty. The very few friends I have are busy or miles away, plus I don't want to bother them feeling depressed and shamefully telling them that I still want my ex even though our relationship has been very painful for a long time. (Although, obviously good in parts!That's what I am missing). I hate being on my own. I have no one to see today. I have spent the last few days online soul searching and all sorts trying to find somewhere to live, deciding what to do with my life from here, I've moved to a new area, need a job. Honestly, I could spend another whole day looking on line but I need a break. And it doesn't look like i am going to get human contact today. I've looked at the local what's on and there are no interactive things I can find (a walk would have been nice), only exhibitions and family orientated things (ugh no, depressing). Any Ideas how to fill the very lonley painful hole???????? thanks.xxx
smk Posted August 14, 2010 Posted August 14, 2010 Hey, Sorry for the way you're feeling, I know most of us here have been there, hell even with having people around me I still sometimes feel lonely. Maybe go to a museum, or go running or something? Exercise has done wonders for me and hey it makes you feel better too... Go to a library, even go wandering around where you live, meet some new people...
Thierro Posted August 14, 2010 Posted August 14, 2010 Go watch the movie Swingers (1996) and 500 days of summer. Tonight's pizza night!
Username37 Posted August 14, 2010 Posted August 14, 2010 Go watch the movie Swingers (1996) and 500 days of summer. Tonight's pizza night! Maybe skip on 500 Days...Swingers yes though. Another good movie is High Fidelity with John Cusack. It's really good and quite funny haha Don't forget the wings! And the cheesy breadsticks!
smk Posted August 14, 2010 Posted August 14, 2010 Hmmmm pizza - I have the obligatory summer weekend BBQ tonite...
Thierro Posted August 14, 2010 Posted August 14, 2010 Great! New gameplan; invade smk’s bbq and steal all of the meat so we can enjoy each other’s fine company back at smk’s place. Wendigo- You seem like a strong girl, you get the bbq. Username and smk- You guys are in charge of the meat. I will just look cool and watch the whole thing enfold. Well, maybe I will get you those wings for you, Username. I will also take care of the beverages. Late at night we’re going to watch the movies and order pizza. After that I am going to beat your a$$es with poker.
smk Posted August 14, 2010 Posted August 14, 2010 Thierro sounds like a plan to me - just to let you know I am a whiskey drinker a nice single malt will do just fine for me...Ooh and jagerbombs and tequilla we must have some shots oh what the heck we may as well go all out and get some absinth... I all bring along a few cigars for the poker session while we are at it... I still need to watch 500 days of summer and swingers...
Author wendigo Posted August 14, 2010 Author Posted August 14, 2010 You see that would have been great if it was real! Instead I almost completely fixed my bike (need to buy some kit for it). Instead went on 6mile walk. Felt sad and crap the whole way. Just ruminating. And now.. I just feel suicidal. Not for the first time. I just feel a burden on people. I miss my ex, can't understand why he threw what we had away. Thought I was so good to him, loved him so much. Forget counseling, ER, etc. there is no help for me out there it all comes from myself. and today/tonight... it fn hurts to even breathe. I can't make this transition to being on my own, with no job, no friends, no family, no money. Literally time passing by is painful. I want out. I'm so sick of being hurt when I feel like I give so much. My strength is really running out. If I died this way honestly no one would be surprised. I haven't got the strength within me and my last long term break up lead to months and months of depression, I can't do it again. I know people are worse off than me but I can't cope. That doesn't make me feel better thinking of other people's misery. I'm so annoyed at the relationship counselor we went to see. He gave so much fuel to my ex. My ex thinks everything is my fault. Oh god I've tried. I don't want a new life, I want the old one to work but I can't be with him without being able to communicate, to feel deep love and commitment from him. I am so sorry for the things I did do wrong. I just can't do everything right but I tried to understand. I tried to fix it. I tried everything... I can't try any more. I am not interested in anyone else. I can't go through this again with anyone. I will always end up hurt.
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