me

[diormidnightpoison]

Hi all, I was involved with a man for over four years. He was married once, left his wife and three kids for his first OW. Before the divorce was even final, even though he had been seeing the OW for 8 of his 12 years of marriage, he started coming on to me and I fell hopelessly in love with him. He told me how miserable he was with his OW, what a mistake it was, etc. He seemed very miserable. He told me that because they had the same circle of friends, and they have worked together for so long, he couldn't just break up with her. He wanted it to be her idea. He said that once she broke up with him, there would be a period of going back and forth, then she would probably get frustrated and they would break up for good. She is a pill. I have seen her behavior also. She is not very well liked. So much of what he told me seemed true. This past week she broke up with him. He figured that they would end up married and then divorced. She confided in a friend of mine that knows about us. I was shocked when I heard that after she broke up with him, he promised her everything to get her to stay with him. She said she wanted: 1. him to stop holding grudges toward her friends, 2. more PDA, and 3. for him to buy a Harley like hers so they could ride together. I was shocked when he conceded on all three. He told me that this is just protocol so that they can be broken up for good. He's "removing all of her excuses" to stay. I took it hard. In my mind, he is doing everything he can to get her to stay. She won't leave him now that he is everything she wants in a man. I feel so stupid and have been crying non-stop. I see him occasionally at work and have no idea what to do when I bump into him. I go back and forth: one minute I want to beg him to keep me as his OW, one minute I feel solid about not contacting him. What was all of the stuff we did together over the last 4 years? Was any of it real? Please, someone help. I haven't slept or eaten in a few days. I just keep crying. I can't believe he conceded instead of just staying who he is and waiting for her to leave him like he said he would. These are huge changes for his personality. Things ended between him and I because I told him that I couldn't hold on while he is trying to keep her. He was cold after that and has been since. Please help.

[temporaryvisa]

Hi all, I was involved with a man for over four years. He was married once, left his wife and three kids for his first OW. Before the divorce was even final, even though he had been seeing the OW for 8 of his 12 years of marriage, he started coming on to me and I fell hopelessly in love with him. He told me how miserable he was with his OW, what a mistake it was, etc. He seemed very miserable. He told me that because they had the same circle of friends, and they have worked together for so long, he couldn't just break up with her. He wanted it to be her idea. He said that once she broke up with him, there would be a period of going back and forth, then she would probably get frustrated and they would break up for good. She is a pill. I have seen her behavior also. She is not very well liked. So much of what he told me seemed true. This past week she broke up with him. He figured that they would end up married and then divorced. She confided in a friend of mine that knows about us. I was shocked when I heard that after she broke up with him, he promised her everything to get her to stay with him. She said she wanted: 1. him to stop holding grudges toward her friends, 2. more PDA, and 3. for him to buy a Harley like hers so they could ride together. I was shocked when he conceded on all three. He told me that this is just protocol so that they can be broken up for good. He's "removing all of her excuses" to stay. I took it hard. In my mind, he is doing everything he can to get her to stay. She won't leave him now that he is everything she wants in a man. I feel so stupid and have been crying non-stop. I see him occasionally at work and have no idea what to do when I bump into him. I go back and forth: one minute I want to beg him to keep me as his OW, one minute I feel solid about not contacting him. What was all of the stuff we did together over the last 4 years? Was any of it real? Please, someone help. I haven't slept or eaten in a few days. I just keep crying. I can't believe he conceded instead of just staying who he is and waiting for her to leave him like he said he would. These are huge changes for his personality. Things ended between him and I because I told him that I couldn't hold on while he is trying to keep her. He was cold after that and has been since. Please help.

 

awww man! I'm so darn sorry for all of this! Please don't be sad. Please get over him, go to therapy or something. What an *******!

 

I'm really sorry babe! Don't worry... Please help yourself first! Please start eating!

[diormidnightpoison]

Thanks. I'm trying. I do well for a few minutes at a time then I think about the Harley and crash. I can't believe he is willing to buy one. I asked him when he is going to get it, he said he would save for two years then get one. She broke up with him just a few weeks ago. I hope he can keep her happy enough to make her stay until he gets the bike.