Fruitpunch Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 I messed a girl around for a long while and eventually she got tired of it and left me alone. We were on /off for about 5 years, the first half being great. The last two years me wanting more space, not getting it, her becoming too clingy and then it ended. We saw each other again after about 5 months and she confessed she hadnt stopped thinking about me, and i got back with her 4 months down the line and she just started acted distant When we broke up before we met up , i said i understood she was hurt about the past and wanted the best for her, so would bow out. This time, she just acted completely out of character all of a sudden and out contact became less and less until i said we should meet up. She sent me a facebook message saying she cant meet up and its because she is hurt about the past. ( I know that she wasn't seeing anyone else and hadnt seen anyone in the 4 months apart ) And that was it. I mailed her back and tried calling but she ignored it, and that was about 10 days ago now, i have heard nothing This girl was head over heels. I kept breaking up with her before but she just wouldnt let me. She would hound me til we got back together, and at the time it wasnt what i wanted as i was travelling so much. It hurts because its so out of character and we haven't been able to discuss things like adults, and even try to sort it out, she has just locked up. And im sticking to the NC rule but i havent had a peep. Do you think she will contact me at some point? Should i hold on to the NC even though she is the one who ignored me and shes the one who imposed it. She moaned at me before that i would never chase her and i wont, ill walk out of this with my head held high, but it beats me up we never talked about it, i have no idea what happened and i don't know if she will contact me again.
Don Ho Posted August 14, 2010 Posted August 14, 2010 Well Punch. I think you wore out your welcome. She probably just got burned out on all the stuff you did and doesn't feel it anymore for you. You have quite the ego though; 'gee I treated this girl like sh$$t the last few years, played with her emotions and jerked her around and I just can't understand how she could dump ME and not even discuss it with me'. I doubt she will contact you again. Sounds like she finally got smart and dropped you like a hot rock. Move on.
abee Posted August 14, 2010 Posted August 14, 2010 Maybe she has just had enough and NC is the best way for her to get over you..... Or maybe she has gone NC as she wants to see if you really do care, you mentioned she moaned that you didn't chase her, she may want you to finally be able to show that you care. If you have messed her around so much, I guess she may feel she deserves more from you, its up to you to decided if you care enough to tell her what she means to you. If you cant, then she mustn't mean that much to you. Let her go...and she can find someone that wont mess her around.
Author Fruitpunch Posted August 14, 2010 Author Posted August 14, 2010 look, im saying i ****ed her around as that's how she see's it, but it takes two to tango. I broke up with her and she relentlessly pursued me, turnd up at work, home, places i was, contacted other girls i knew and warned them to stay away. She was crazy and through all this i knew it wasnt right. 6 months after we broke up we slept together and i said i couldn get in a relationship as i had so many work issues. She kept calling me, turning up, we kept seeing each other but without anything being official. When we had been doing this for a while and i did want to be a couple, she went nuts. And we already broke up and got back together. We did all of this, she's hurt me aswell. I take responsibility for anything i have done, but its not as clear but as me ****ing her around
GrayClouds Posted August 14, 2010 Posted August 14, 2010 Sounds as if you both like both of you enjoy the drama of the relationship more then the relationship itself. Finally it seem she sees that this is not a healthy way of living, or she found some new drama. Either way, this is now about you. Spend some time trying to understand why you behaved like you did, and figure out ways that next time you choose a relationship it is one build on mutual respect and affection.
Author Fruitpunch Posted August 14, 2010 Author Posted August 14, 2010 Sounds as if you both like both of you enjoy the drama of the relationship more then the relationship itself. Finally it seem she sees that this is not a healthy way of living, or she found some new drama. Either way, this is now about you. Spend some time trying to understand why you behaved like you did, and figure out ways that next time you choose a relationship it is one build on mutual respect and affection. One more thing plz. And im fully on the NC tip now. I have to accept defeat in the breaking up war, i should have send a NC text when i had a chance, i left it too long now, going to have to carry on and accept losing My best female friend knows her as well. My BFF is coming back off holiday next week and im going to tell her what happened because she knows the deal n i want to talk to her about. I know those two are going to talk. Is it best she just tells her im doing great, or im pissed off that she ended it without an explination and im still doing great etc. Or just say nothing
GrayClouds Posted August 14, 2010 Posted August 14, 2010 (edited) One more thing plz. And im fully on the NC tip now. I have to accept defeat in the breaking up war, i should have send a NC text when i had a chance, i left it too long now, going to have to carry on and accept losing My best female friend knows her as well. My BFF is coming back off holiday next week and im going to tell her what happened because she knows the deal n i want to talk to her about. I know those two are going to talk. Is it best she just tells her im doing great, or im pissed off that she ended it without an explination and im still doing great etc. Or just say nothing There is no reason to tell them your going NC so do not sweat it. If anyone ask you just say it is always a shame when a realtionship end but now focusing yourself, get back into hobbies and moving on. Remember if there is any question know taking the high road, show dignity and class is all was the best revenge, even when it is really hard not to. Edited August 14, 2010 by GrayClouds
Don Ho Posted August 15, 2010 Posted August 15, 2010 Come on Punch, be honest. She was obsessed over you and you enjoyed the chase. You were a dick to her and jerked her around. You got hurt to: ha! If you did serves you right because you were the one that continued it even though you were not into her. Leave her alone. No, do not talk to her friend. If the BFF comes to and tries to tell you something, tell her "I appreciate you wanting me to know what she said, but I would appreciate it if you would not".
GrayClouds Posted August 15, 2010 Posted August 15, 2010 Come on Punch, be honest. She was obsessed over you and you enjoyed the chase. You were a dick to her and jerked her around. You got hurt to: ha! If you did serves you right because you were the one that continued it even though you were not into her. Leave her alone. No, do not talk to her friend. If the BFF comes to and tries to tell you something, tell her "I appreciate you wanting me to know what she said, but I would appreciate it if you would not". 100% accurate
Author Fruitpunch Posted August 15, 2010 Author Posted August 15, 2010 I take responsiblility for my part in things but we can just blame ourselves for all of it. I left a life to get back with her, a girl, everything and i the treatment i got was worse than anything i did to her. The bff is my friend, not hers, but they talk i know they do. Cool, ill keep stush about the situ
Don Ho Posted August 15, 2010 Posted August 15, 2010 Um yes, you can blame yourself for all of it. Oh! I get it, you were a dick to her and let her chase you around and it's HER fault for doing it! LOL. What a crock of BS. If the treatment you got from her was worse, it was YOUR doing. You reap what you sew my friend. Now get off your narcissistic horse and really admit to yourself that YOU ***ed it all up. And lose the attitude that SHE did this to YOU because truth is YOU did it to yourself. Doesn't matter who the BFF belongs to, tell them what I said: "I would appreciate it if you would NOT tell me anything". A true friend will respect that and keep their mouth shut. Now be a man, go NC and leave her alone.
Author Fruitpunch Posted August 15, 2010 Author Posted August 15, 2010 Um yes, you can blame yourself for all of it. Oh! I get it, you were a dick to her and let her chase you around and it's HER fault for doing it! LOL. What a crock of BS. If the treatment you got from her was worse, it was YOUR doing. You reap what you sew my friend. Now get off your narcissistic horse and really admit to yourself that YOU ***ed it all up. And lose the attitude that SHE did this to YOU because truth is YOU did it to yourself. Doesn't matter who the BFF belongs to, tell them what I said: "I would appreciate it if you would NOT tell me anything". A true friend will respect that and keep their mouth shut. Now be a man, go NC and leave her alone. Dude, you are being a dick. I am not saying im without blame. I broke up with her after a yr and had 6 months of abuse from her. If she had left it, as i am doing now, then i would have had the time to ponder and it may have worked. SHE used sex as a weapon, she turned up at my office in ****ing underwear, she sent me the 100's of texts, letters, emails, turned up at my house constantly, and then finally she cooled down and after a few months apart we started seeing each other. I dont mind taking blame for things but if you give people enough rope on here then you know what happens. Yes, we **** up , we lose people, but if you blame yourself for everything little thing you arent going to get over it. When you break up you tend to only see the good side of that person, and miss all the **** they brought to the table. So yes, i assess my faults but we broke up the second time for 5 months and i changed my whole life to be with her and made sure i put her first , not like before. Problem is, women a lot of the time don't actually want that. She obviously enjoyed the chase as much as i did, because when she wasnt chasing she wanted out
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