Ex-Fiance moved in with new guy after 6 months and still contacts me. Why?

[culprit73]

Hey Everyone,

 

Just wondering what my Ex-Fiance's intent is here. We broke up in late jan 2010 because she was a liar and cheater. I found out she was cheating by going through her cell phone and reading her text messages. We ended up having a nasty breakup but during the months after our breakup we were still sleeping together. Well, in June we broke all contact and I found out that she moved in with a new guy.

 

Since she has moved in with the new guy she has been leaving me text messages, emails and the other day left me a voicemessage. In her voicemessage she sounded like she been crying and she said she was calling to check in on my kids (kids from another relationship), I don't have kids with her. I feel like she is using the kids as leverage to get at me. She also has kids from another relationship and is saying her kids miss us, etc.

 

I don't want to call her back because I dont see the point in contacting her and rehashing old memories. I just want to know why she is calling me, if she is in a relationship and living with this new guy? What do you think she wants from me? Whats the point of her contacting me, I am just trying to move on with my life and I feel like she keeps wanting to hold on to the past. I mean she is living with someone else, is this not disrespectful to her new partner?

 

Any thoughts?

[BeagleGal]

I believe she is contacting you to use you as her fallback guy when this new relationship falls apart. Wants to make sure you're still hooked so she can worm her way back, IMO.

 

I was in a similar situation. My lying, cheating ex, who just married the girl he cheated & got pregnant while with me, was still contacting me after he dumped me, pushed me out of the house with nowhere to go and while he was engaged. He texted me here and there, called me a few times and it took a little while to realize that he was doing that to keep me attached or around when his new marriage falls apart. A friend of his lives close by to me so I see this friend every so often while walking my dog and that's how my ex keeps tabs on me from what he's told me.

 

Anyways, it sounds like your ex is using your kids as an excuse to contact you. Ignore her. You're better off without her.

 

If I sound bitter/jaded, sorry, I am.

[culprit73]

Thanks for the reply BeagleGal.. I can understand the bitterness ....I don't get it, I mean see is living with the guy. Why even bother trying to contact me? I am hoping she does not want to come back, I am done and I have been ignoring her, but it seems the more you ignore. The flood of emails, text, etc....why is that?

[BeagleGal]

Well, it was the same with my ex. He was living with the new girl, engaged (now married) and they're expecting a baby! So when he continued to contact me after we broke up, at first I wasnt sure why. I had friends tell me that eventually he would contact me again b/c it seemed like the new girl had "trapped" him by getting pregnant/going thru with pregnancy so soon into their relationship and would still try to carry something with me. And it didnt take him long, trust me, in fact, when I think about it, he never actually stopped contacting me, it just decreased compared to when we were together.

 

I haven't heard from him now in over a month and its a good thing, I know it is. Kinda bothers me b.c I still have a bit of attachment to him but I know its good for me emotionally that I never hear from that snake again.

 

That's exactly it, the more you ignore, the more they keep trying. Who knows what's going on right now with her new R. Maybe things aren't going as she hoped, maybe she regrets leaving you... who knows. But just keep on ignoring her. Its for the best.