bboy Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 (edited) No Sleep tonight? Here are a few things that could help you. This must be a break-up classic. Happily for me, I’ve had this issue without break-ups for many many years… and went to CBT, read numerous books, articles and other things. So I’m going to pitch in with a few advices. Many folks that I know with this problem start thinking about why and how they should handle this. As a result, going to bed becomes an even more stressful task than it was from the beginning. So to start with: 1. Accept that you have sleeping issues. Sounds weird, right? Accept means not being aware of the problem, it is about not getting stressed anymore about this. People with sleeping issues, insomnia and other variants can panic when it’s time to go to bed. Not only is it a certain thought that will haunt them during night. We also know that sleep is part of the human body to work functionally. Something that you must do to work, live and function properly the day after. So first step in this is to accept. Yes, I’ve got sleeping issues. I know this night will not be perfect and I know things will haunt me. This little step might sound irrelevant, but it changes the perspective from “the outcome of tonight might ruin my day” into “the outcome of tonight might save my day”. There is actually a chance that you will sleep 5-10 minutes longer, perhaps 30 minutes longer than last night. That’s not bad. That is progress. You’re sleeping more. The great importance to truly accept sleeping issues is that the issue itself can be removed. If you accept it. It’s not a flaw in your system, is a state that you’re in. It happens to almost everyone and it can actually be a bit flattering. Some say intelligent and analytical people has this as a flip side of their talent coin. 2. How much can we take? Be aware of that the human body can actually take a night without sleep and work normally the day after. We might not be able to do a 72 hour stint in a row. But we can do 24 hours awake without turning into a vegetable. Sure, you’re not going to spit out Nobel prizes tomorrow. So what? You’ve got so many more days, weeks, months, and years ahead of you. If you have a realistic goal for tomorrow, you should be able to do it. Even without sleep 3. Haunting thoughts Being half-sleep is a state where you’re subconsciously mixing thoughts, memories and patterns. The outcome is junk and results mess with your head. Don’t accept this state in your head. If this continues for more than 45 minutes (that’s my limit, I set the limit myself and decide when enough is enough). Get up! Take them thoughts and evaluate – what am I thinking about?!! Have I not thought this before already? Don’t I know what conclusions I came up with? The trick is to instead slip into the messy thoughts – to think “about” the thoughts. When you’ve done this, you can actually start doing something else. (Not head for bed right away). Force yourself a bit to stay up. Open an easy read book. Reset the alarm clock 5 minutes. Go do the dishes. Sort some papers. Take a set of cards and arrange them in order. Just a little action so you feel that your body is actually tired. 4. Substance abuse (My god, I’ve tried every drug and nothing helps!) No, you’re not immune to drugs. No, your problems are not beyond the scale. Drugs are chemically substances that work in certain ways. There is no way that a normal sleeping pill can help a completely upset mind. What does help is you to calm down the mind combine the effect with the pill. 5. I wake up in the middle of the night! Another classic. Problem is of course to fall asleep again. What happened is that you’re probably not falling into deep sleep. A trick here is to rearrange something. Get up take your pillow and blanket and go sleep on the couch! Another one is to go up, shave, brush your teeth, perhaps even make your breakfast sandwiches ready for tomorrow and then go back to bed. Third one that I’ve heard is actually quite interesting. Change the temperature you’re sleeping in. I have a friend who goes up and puts on his morning robe and goes back to bed. Others go completely naked instead. Just make that change! 6. Nothing of this works, my ex haunts me. It’s my ex haunting my dreams. I keep rethinking dialogs, comments and actions. Who said what and why. Then open a journal, start writing down this in the journal. “She said I was too clingy – I thought I was normal. Is it that she’s insecure about handling love? Or is it that I was in love with love itself? Answer: Probably in love with it myself” You’ll notice that most things are the same, spinning around all the time. You’ve got the answers and start getting sick of filling that journal. It feels more like a burden after some time to write in it. Unnecessary and rather boring. You’re getting somewhere then… 7. I’m afraid to wake up We used to wake up right next to a partner. Warm, cozy and loving right next to us. Now it’s an empty spot. Every morning reminds us of this. Yupp, harsh. But it’s not true. Not EVERY morning. You will have better mornings too. You just ignore them. Don’t. This is part of the accept part. Not accepting the “break up” but accepting that the thought will occur. I flip this around again. I once in a while wake up and think: “Wow, I didn’t wake up and think about the absence of my EX”. Cool, this might happen again next week. Then I go out to the kitchen and make a mark on my fridge. Suddenly there are 3,4,6,8,11 marks and I need to wipe them out. Cool cool – this is wooooooooorking! 8. No contact – essential for sleep Don’t have contact – don’t put more input of info into your head. Don’t get more “data” to process. As some might think NC is a rule just to be strong and not really completely understand what goes on in your head. This is one example of how to stay clear! Edited August 13, 2010 by bboy
whatadeer26 Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 I like it. But would also like to add, hide your clocks. If you see the time it also adds stress.
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