teanoranges Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 I used to feel like a failure because of the break-up with my ex. I used to feel like everyone was looking at me and having a pity party for me.. I'd think 'what did I do wrong' 'what could I have changed' One of the really 'inspirational' things I considered was my idols.. or just people I see as completely amazing people and they have broken up with people too. They went through heartbreak... and you know what, that never made me look at them with pity.. I never really even thought about their breakup.. I just thought that they had talent... hope that makes sense and doesn't sound completely stupid.
deux ex machina Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 (edited) I love that. That makes perfect sense, and you are so right. When we are shaken up by something like a bad break-up, it can alter our perception of ourselves. Having the evidence right in front of us to challenge those skewed perceptions is very valuable. Seeing someone that we feel is pretty amazing has come out of the other side of something similar is one way of coming at the issue of challenging perceptions from a different angle. Great post. Edited August 13, 2010 by deux ex machina
mickleb Posted August 14, 2010 Posted August 14, 2010 Stephen Fry said something great in his first interview after he went AWOL following the opening night of a play he starred in, in the West End. He said, often when we walk into a room, it seems like everyone else is holding a big baseball bat behind them but you know you've only got a cotton bud. He went on to explain that, this is simply a response to anxiety and that, once you've calmed down, you realise that everyone has only got a cotton bud. Stephen Fry is a chronic depression sufferer, genius and considered to be one of Britain's finest human beings. We all feel like that, from time to time but that's the point: we are all fallible to a lapse in confidence, occasionally. (You know the drill for building it up, again, though. Right?) x
Author teanoranges Posted August 14, 2010 Author Posted August 14, 2010 haha, what a strange analogy... I never really paid much attention to it being a lapse in actual confidence.. I had assumed it was worrying what others thought too much, even though they really aren't thinking that much.. maybe being too self-centered or self-critical... definitely begs to question the confidence... otherwise, if one were confident they wouldn't worry about it. I feel as if I know how to build it up again. This was thoughts from months ago that I just remembered.. I totally don't feel like sh*t right now. very happy. I've really come to realize that emotions seem more and more like things we make, maybe not 100% conscious but some deeper part of us is at fault. I've realized that nothing emotional can really hurt me physically if I understand that the intensity of what I feel will in fact fade. blah blah blah to me... I really hate talking when I know I don't really know where I'm going with it... ^_^ forgive me.
mickleb Posted August 14, 2010 Posted August 14, 2010 Then write it all down on paper, sleep on it and report back once it makes more sense. x
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