scandi_high Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 Hi Guys - hope all is well with all of you. My SO has gone on a family holiday for about 10 days. She is now 6 days into her holiday and it seems like she doesn't want to contact me either by text or phone. During her time there she has only sent me three texts and called me once. Meanwhile I have sent you numerous texts and called her several times which went unanswered of course. In fact, I have come to the conclusion that i am beginning to bug her. Maybe this is her way of saying "I am not interested in you again". Just don't know what to do - should I let things lie till she gets back home? Should I continue to text her / call her? I am now beginning to wonder if this is a "family" holiday after all. Basically, all this is making me unhappy. Thanks for reading
electricity Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 Chill out. She's on vacation and is probably very busy with sightseeing and family meals and stuff. I don't think there's anything wrong with a text a day or so (even fewer if she's in a remote place with poor cell phone reception or additional charges). Are you even long-distance regularly, or are you posting here just because she's away for 10 days?
Author scandi_high Posted August 13, 2010 Author Posted August 13, 2010 Oh yeah defintely long distance - UK and Greece. You're probably right electricity - I just need to chill and relax - but a "good morning" or "night night" text would be nice to get.
CycleOfLove Posted August 15, 2010 Posted August 15, 2010 Hey, my friend is going trough the exact same issue right now, long story short they met online,been dating for 2 years met in person 4 times. She went to visit family in another country for about a month or so. While she was there she would barely txt\call him or email. When she got home she didnt even bother to let him know she got back home. he sent many txt`s and called her many times,She avoids him and asks him to leave her alone. he decided to leave her alone and give her some space,he thought she is sick and she needs to rest, But its been about 3 weeks now since she got back home,and she avoids his emails,calls and txt. He thinks she fall out of love,or Just met another guy while being away. Now I am not saying your gf is doing the same to you, I Just wanted to share this with you. I think you should just relax a little I mean she is having fun with her familly she sounds busy, dont freak out because it will only push her away. Goodluck wish you the best.
lordWilhelm Posted August 15, 2010 Posted August 15, 2010 Look at it this way. You can't really do much if something's going on, and bugging her all the time won't endear yourself to her. Just keep cool and let her miss you, and she'll get in touch with you. The most realistic scenario is that since it's so far away and she's with family, there's a lot going on with her back home. I know when I went home, because of family dynamics at play, I wasn't particularly talkative to my GF and I really appreciated that she gave me space -- I felt a bit guilty and talked to her about it when I got back, and she was understanding about it. Find something to do while she's away!
Author scandi_high Posted August 19, 2010 Author Posted August 19, 2010 Update: She's sent a few texts and she did call me saying that calling/texting is pretty expensive so hence why the low level of contact. She should be back home on Saturday when she can skype again. Maybe I over-reacted but when the person you love doesnt contact you for 2/3 days, it does make one feel unwanted.
CycleOfLove Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 Good to hear! Yes, i agree I would feel unwanted as well. But to freak out and panic will only push the person away. I'm glad she called you shows that she cares.
lordWilhelm Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 I understand how you feel. If what you need is more contact/communication that's certainly something that should be addressed; IMO the best way to go about it would be to give her the space she wants/needs while she's away now but have a good talk about this when she comes back. In the mean time, don't let it get to you and don't be clingy and needy... unless you guys had decided upfront that you're going to talk every day that she's away and she's suddenly gone AWOL, don't expect her to mind-read you.
lordWilhelm Posted August 20, 2010 Posted August 20, 2010 Another thing that I found very helpful has been setting a particular time to talk. So let's say we talk one day, then we decide we're going to talk again two days from now at certain time in the morning. This has worked out great in my experience, because it has helped eliminate a lot of the uncertainty and guesswork involved in should I call her, should she call me, is this too soon, am I waiting too much, etc, etc. Also, you get an idea of what each of you expect is a good amount of communication -- if she suggests calling again a week later, then you have a good idea of what she's thinking is an appropriate amount of time between calls, and this gives you an opportunity to talk about it (you could say that you'd prefer if you talked every other day or something). Anyways, hope it works out!
Author scandi_high Posted August 20, 2010 Author Posted August 20, 2010 (edited) Thanks LordWilhelm and CycleofLove - very sane advice. Another thing we chatted about before she went on her holidays is me coming to visit her. Initially she wanted me to come after her exams were over in November, but I told her that's way too long for me to wait (last time I saw her was in May) so she kind of suggested (reluctanly i felt) the first week in september where there is a gap in her exam schedule. I've now booked my flight for the first week in september but haven't got around to telling her yet becasue of the lack of communication over the last week or so. Would be interesting to know how she would react....will keep you updated. Edited August 20, 2010 by scandi_high
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