livelife Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 (edited) So to summarize: My ex and I were eachothers first everything, we were so close. boyfriend and girlfriend and best friend. eachothers first love. Anyways, broke up in late March, didnt stop things till June. He really didnt know what he wanted. He wanted me but wanted to be single. He couldnt decide so I decided for him, neither. We wouldn't even be friends. That happens, then he gets a girlfriend a week later. 5 days later, saying " i love you" During this time, he tried being friends with me ( twice by asking over text, once asking to be my friend on facebook) his girlfriend harrassed me, was sending me texts from other peoples phones and commenting on old pics of my ex and I. They just recently broke up because she is going to college 5 hours away. ( Good on my part!) Anyways, that night they break up he texts me ( his gf freaked out if he even talked to another girl i think) I didnt reply till the next day, and during that conversation, there were multiple times I took a little time to answer, he would send another text, sometimes two and just be like alright sorry I tried.In this conversation, he asked to be friends, again, he apologized after I said how rude he was and his gf harrassing me ( some of the times he didnt know) After he asked to be friends I go, " so is that all you needed?" and he goes, " i mean yeah i just miss you, thats all" It took me a while again to reply and he started saying how i didnt care and stuff. He then asks me how i feel about him, ( meaning if I hated his guts, i think) I told him i didnt feel anything. He then continues to see if i wanted to see him sometime. i told him i wasnt sure. so he told me to text him when I did. * He also adds, "the time we had together was amazing. byee." at one point in the conversation that I didnt reply. what?! Now after this conversation I saw him at a resturaunt. Him and a friend were looking over at me and laughing, and proceed to get up past our table to go to the bathroom. Walking back, me and my ex make eyecontact and I look away because the waitress came up. I texted him later that night and told him that it wasnt nice for him to stare and laugh, he said I gave him a really mean look and that he was coming to say hi but he didnt. He then apologized for not saying hi and said that he should have, haha! Then yet again, asks me to hang out sometime, yet i said i was busy this weekend, and he said ok maybe sometime after school. * im in college but staying home and he is a senior, we are close age haha* During all this he is still telling his gf he loves her, yet asking this one girl to find girls for him to hook up with ( he has always been like that.) But I honestly only think he wants to be friends. My point is, Yes i miss him. Should I meet up with him? How can i be mysterious so he cant just hear what ive been up to all the time this past summer? I won't lie, I do in a tinnny way want him back. Of course im not totally over him. Advice? And my apologies for the long story. Edited August 13, 2010 by livelife forgot a detail. might help a little, not too sure:)
GrayClouds Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 (edited) My point is, Yes i miss him. Should I meet up with him? How can i be mysterious so he cant just hear what ive been up to all the time this past summer? I won't lie, I do in a tinnny way want him back. Of course im not totally over him. Advice? And my apologies for the long story. NO do not play this game. All he is doing is keeping you on the hook to stroke his ego and give him a back-up plan if the new one does not work out. Read this two links and do what they say: The No Contact Guide So you want a second chance? This guy is a little immature child thinking he is a stud and this is kids stuff, It is time to for you to start seeing yourself as a women not a girl and demanding those who are interested behave like a man not a boy. Understand unless you see your affection is worth more then some guy jerking you around, someone who want to be without with no doubt in their minds no one else will see it either. This is not love, this is drama, you deserve love. Edited August 13, 2010 by GrayClouds
Sambo Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 (edited) Livelife, I'm sorry but your not going to like what I'm going to say to you. This man is just not emotionally mature enough for YOU yet. In TIME he may become your equal but for now he is lost and needs to figure things out on his own. YOU have to move on in your mind or you will continue to get hurt. The absolute best thing for you to do for him and you is to Live your Life and when he grows up then and only then you can be back together. He will eventually, he is still young, just give him time and stay as far away from him as you can and stay NC. Edited August 13, 2010 by Sambo
Author livelife Posted August 13, 2010 Author Posted August 13, 2010 Oh, I definitely know how immature he is!! It didnt hurt to hear that because im aware that i need to just move on, but part of me just does not want to face it, its hard to explain. haha. If he asks me if i want to meet up again, what do I say?
GrayClouds Posted August 13, 2010 Posted August 13, 2010 Oh, I definitely know how immature he is!! It didnt hurt to hear that because im aware that i need to just move on, but part of me just does not want to face it, its hard to explain. haha. If he asks me if i want to meet up again, what do I say? Did you even read my post? '
Author livelife Posted August 14, 2010 Author Posted August 14, 2010 haha, I'm confused. yes I read it, you told me not to meet up with him. i'm asking, because I really don't like to me mean, What do I say when he asks if I want to see him agian? Just simply no and that i don't see the point in it?
GrayClouds Posted August 14, 2010 Posted August 14, 2010 haha, I'm confused. yes I read it, you told me not to meet up with him. i'm asking, because I really don't like to me mean, What do I say when he asks if I want to see him agian? Just simply no and that i don't see the point in it? It not being mean to take care of yourself. His actions has communicated he is not serious about being in a realtionship with you(or anyone else) to the point of being mean. This is not some episode of the Hills, this is your life. Next time you see and he asked just he made his feeling known and so you have decide to focus on yourself and move on.
Sambo Posted August 14, 2010 Posted August 14, 2010 (edited) Oh, I definitely know how immature he is!! It didnt hurt to hear that because im aware that i need to just move on, but part of me just does not want to face it, its hard to explain. haha. If he asks me if i want to meet up again, what do I say? You tell him that your moving on and that you will always be there for him as a friend and IF he ever wants to get back with you it will be under these terms. Write out what you want from a relationship in great detail. I highly recommend that it be based on MUTUAL RESPECT and Communication. Remember the onus is on him to meet your requirements. Make sure he understands that you love him but you have too much self respect to accept anything but a committed mature relationship. Then you absolutely MUST walk away 110% make him come to you and convince you why you should take him back or it wont work and you will be back to square one or worse. Edited August 14, 2010 by Sambo
Author livelife Posted August 14, 2010 Author Posted August 14, 2010 It not being mean to take care of yourself. His actions has communicated he is not serious about being in a realtionship with you(or anyone else) to the point of being mean. I meant being mean by straight up saying NO to hanging out. But nevermind, he deserves everything that comes his way!! Last night I realized that I can do so much better, why waste time on a kid who simply doesn't care? He is too immature for me to handle, I need a man, not a boy. His loss!!
GrayClouds Posted August 14, 2010 Posted August 14, 2010 I meant being mean by straight up saying NO to hanging out. I did understand what you meant but what I am telling you is it is not mean to anyone to put yourself first by not wanting to spend any time with someone who does not respect you.
Author livelife Posted August 15, 2010 Author Posted August 15, 2010 I understand. It makes sense. thank you so much!
TaraMaiden Posted August 15, 2010 Posted August 15, 2010 livelife, do you know what it's like, talking to someone in a room, and you look up, and realise you've been talking to yourself for ages? Yes? Feels a bit silly, doesn't it....? That's how he's got to feel. Let him say what he likes, how he likes, when he likes and why he likes. But let him also discover he's been talking to "nobody, in an empty room". And the reason that it's an empty room, is because you've left the building, and are out living life, and enjoying it.
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