_AJsBaBii4ever_21403 Posted February 15, 2004 Share Posted February 15, 2004 this was the absolute worst valentines day i have ever had! last sunday my boyfriend and two of my bestfriends died! they were all in three seperate cars and only my boyfriend could have pervented his accident. but i am feeling partly guilty for his death. he died sunday morning at about 1:30 a.m he had stolen a car and then gone out and gotten drunk. him and his 3 friends were out "joy riding" and a cop started following them and trying to get them to pull over. it turned into a high speed chase and ended in him runnung into a tree and dying instantly. the reason i feel guilty is because before all of this happened he was at my house telling me about his plans for the night. i BEGGED him not to do it because i had a feeling something bad would happen..one because hes only 15 and two because i knew he would be drunk and it was a stolen car. but he refused to listen to me and made me swear that i wouldnt tell anyone. i promised i wouldnt and he told me he loved me then left. i wish soo bad that i would have called the police or told him mom what he was doing. i feel that if i had he would still be here with me today. today would have been our 1 year anniversary and i guess that makes it hurt worse. i mean how many people bury their boyfriend on their one year?! its killing me to know that i could have pervented his death. should i feel guilty or not...please help me.... Link to post Share on other sites
Darkangelism Posted February 15, 2004 Share Posted February 15, 2004 Wow, that must be really hard, and you are young. It is not your fault. You didn't tell him to do it, you tried to stop him, no, you are a victim of his actions. Im sorry for your lose. Link to post Share on other sites
Amazon22 Posted February 15, 2004 Share Posted February 15, 2004 Yes, the right thing to do would have been to call the police right away. However, the high speed chase could have started then...and maybe at that time there were more drivers on the road, which could have caused other deaths as well. It is not your fault what happened, and no, you couldn't have prevented it. He knew that he was going to steal that car, and nothing was going to stop him from doing so. He also knew the consequences of such a crime, and when he chose to drink he knew the consequences of drinking and driving. Unfortunately for all involved, he and his friends made a lot of bad choices that resulted in tradgedy for them and everyone who loved them. You could NOT have prevented this from happening. Do NOT blame yourself for another person's decision making. You need to take the time to mourn their deaths, and it's alright to be sad and miss them. Link to post Share on other sites
befuddled11 Posted February 15, 2004 Share Posted February 15, 2004 I am so very sorry for your loss. People often look to blame themself when someone they love passes away, particularly when it's unexpectedly. All I can suggest is that you find someone to talk to......a counsellor, someone from your church if you belong to one (priest, pastor, minister, etc), or if nothing else, an adult that you trust. Can you talk to your parents? This is a lot for you to have to deal with,it would be for anyone. Do you have a Crisis Line in the city or town that you live in? I just did a quick search on Google, for "teen crisis hotline" and came up with several websites that list toll-free (free for you to call them, within the U.S., I'm assuming you're in the U.S.?) numbers for Teens in Crisis.....and the grief and guilt that you're going through, that would certainly be a crisis for you. click on this page: http://smhp.psych.ucla.edu/hotline.htm Here are some 1-800 numbers to make it easier for you: Crisis Helpline (for any kind of crisis) 1-800-233-4357 Youth Crisis Hotline 1-800-448-4663 Sanctuary Crisis Line 1-800-548-5222 If you happen to live in Canada, here is the page that gives the # to the Kids Help Phone in Canada: http://www.teenadviceonline.org/gethelp/numbers.html#canada Here is the number to it: Kid's Help Phone: 1.800.668.6868 (Canada) If nothing else, whoever you speak with can surely refer you to the best place for you to talk to someone. I hope that you have some support in your Mom and/or Dad. Do you? It's good for you to talk about how you are feeling, as opposed to keeping it inside and blaming yourself. Chances are good that if your boyfriend was intent on stealing the car, drinking and driving, nothing would have stopped him.....and if it wasn't this time, it would have been another time. Again, I'm so sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
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