puzzled44 Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 My only brother died Sunday. I'm 65 and he was 80. He lived about 4 hours away. My wife told me that if the funeral was on Wednesday she couldn't go because she had to babysit for her two grandchildren. He daughter is going for counseling for a drug and alcohol problem and my wife thought it was very important that she not miss this counseling session. I said surely there's someone else who could babysit. She said there was nobody else. I just couldn't believe that and I was very hurt that she wouldn't even make an effort to find someone else to babysit. She loved my brother very much, so it's not like she didn't want to go because of some family problem. Well of course my sister-in-law scheduled the funeral for Wednesday. I wasn't about to ask her to reschedule it just for my wife. When I told my wife she said she'd contact one of her other daughters and if she was in town maybe she could baby sit. Sure enough, she was, so W was able to go with me to the funeral. Am I too sensitive? Should I just let this bounce off of me? After all, she did wind up going. I'm not sure why it bothers me so much.
PortuguesePrincess80 Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 First off my condolences to you for your loss. In respect to your wife and the grandchildren...I can see why you may have been upset with her initial I may not be able to go situation. But the result was she did end up going..and I think you should really give her credit for that. I'm sure your emotions are at its highest peak..and now may not be the best time to voice those reactions when your emotions are this raw. To some degree I would be a little upset...but at the same time I think I'd be more upset at the fact of losing a loved one.
BiAxident Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 I'm sorry to hear about your loss. With something like that to deal with, it is hard to label you as being too sensitive. However, given that everything worked out in the end, I dont see it as being a big issue. Had she stated emphatically that she refused to go to the funeral because of some hatred for your brother, that would be one thing. But, as you stated, she loved the man. I suspect you have enough to deal with right now without bringing up this issue with your wife.
2sunny Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 are you searching for other reasons to be angry at her? this background helps... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t238125/
redmelon Posted August 12, 2010 Posted August 12, 2010 I'm so sorry for your loss. I think you are overreacting, as do a few other posters. Maybe you are also projecting your sadness and anger on her as a knee jerk reaction to the loss of your brother. Now, perhaps she could have worded a few things better at the time, but she probably felt panicked about how to juggle all these things at once. I am sure she never intended to not go. It was a loss for her too, and she has the added burden of an addicted daughter and grandchildren to care for and protect. I say, go give her a hug and tell her you love and appreciate her right now!
Recommended Posts