Author stillafool Posted August 16, 2010 Author Posted August 16, 2010 Perhaps Jennifer is speaking from a place where she picks jerks as b/f's. These guys cheat on her publically...treat her horribly and yet she still hangs around them like a puppy dog waiting for a treat. Me thinks we will see a People cover in the next 6 months where she talks about her new love and how she wants to bear his children....Of course, that's assuming she fixes whatever compells her to date the John Mayer's and Vince Vaughn's of the world. I don't think she purposely picks "jerks" as you call them. Most of us have dated people who in the beginning were fine and then it started to turn ugly somewhere along the way. Jennifer's problem is her life is played out in public. I imagine she dates celebrities because they are in the circle she socializes in and those are the men she meets.
Enchanted Girl Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 There's this argument in this thread that's extremely faulty. That a child needs a male role model in their lives as well as a female's and just one or the other makes the child not have as happy of a life. This extends far beyond single parents. It also includes homosexual couples. Do lesbians and gays not deserve to have children (through sperm donation or a surrogate mother) because they aren't a man and a woman? What makes it so special for their to need to be two people in the relationship and them having to be both a man and woman for it to work out? Are gays and lesbians really selfish for wanting kids because of their sexual orientation? You guys also seem to assume that just because a woman has a baby by herself that it will have no male role models in its life. This is not true. For instance, if I did this, I have some male relatives that I live close to that could easily be male role models for my child. I'm 24 though, so I'm not worried about it right now, but I definitely would not judge a woman for doing this as long as she was financially and emotionally stable.
Woggle Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 You only need to look at young men and boys today to see what a lack of male figures results in.
Enchanted Girl Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 You only need to look at young men and boys today to see what a lack of male figures results in. So you believe that all lesbians raise children who are messed up then? Even if they are nice loving people. I also like the idea of this because it allows women not to overly worry about their biological clock. We're actually less likely to treat men (and marry them) because we view them as sperm banks. Instead, we can take our time and date men who will treat us and our children well and not obsess over whether or not we can get pregnant. We're more likely to use men just to have a baby if we're not allowed to do it on our own out of desperation, instead of viewing them as people.
Author stillafool Posted August 17, 2010 Author Posted August 17, 2010 I also like the idea of this because it allows women not to overly worry about their biological clock. We're actually less likely to treat men (and marry them) because we view them as sperm banks. Instead, we can take our time and date men who will treat us and our children well and not obsess over whether or not we can get pregnant. We're more likely to use men just to have a baby if we're not allowed to do it on our own out of desperation, instead of viewing them as people. This is a good point!
Lipsy10 Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 When I was younger myself and all my friends agreed that if we didn't have children by a certain age we would happily go it alone. Now that I'm older and wiser (with 2 children) I realise how hard it is. Everyone told me "you never know how hard raising a child is until you have your own"... I always dismissed this comment as patronizing. But I was wrong it is hard and I really value the fact that I have someone there to help me out. Yeah I have family but its not the same. They can't be there for me and my children like their father can. I also come from a very dissadvantaged area and I have seen the damage no positive male role model has on both girls and boys. You can walk around my area and literally pick out the ones without dads at home. Jennifer Anniston can sit there and say how easy it is to have kids on your own but (A) She's never had any.. (B) She's mega rich so can pay people to do all the hard work for her.. I think that dude was angry about how flippent Jen was being about an issue which frankly causes alot of struggle to many peoples lives. Ask any single mother in my area and they'll tell ya its not a path they would have chosen given the choice.
Woggle Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 When I was younger myself and all my friends agreed that if we didn't have children by a certain age we would happily go it alone. Now that I'm older and wiser (with 2 children) I realise how hard it is. Everyone told me "you never know how hard raising a child is until you have your own"... I always dismissed this comment as patronizing. But I was wrong it is hard and I really value the fact that I have someone there to help me out. Yeah I have family but its not the same. They can't be there for me and my children like their father can. I also come from a very dissadvantaged area and I have seen the damage no positive male role model has on both girls and boys. You can walk around my area and literally pick out the ones without dads at home. Jennifer Anniston can sit there and say how easy it is to have kids on your own but (A) She's never had any.. (B) She's mega rich so can pay people to do all the hard work for her.. I think that dude was angry about how flippent Jen was being about an issue which frankly causes alot of struggle to many peoples lives. Ask any single mother in my area and they'll tell ya its not a path they would have chosen given the choice. This I agree with. I have nothing against single mothers doing their best to raise a child but this whole fathers are useless mentality where single motherhood is glorified as some form of girl power is what he and many others take issue with.
TheLoneSock Posted August 17, 2010 Posted August 17, 2010 I think at close to 40, most women who are not yet married should get some sort of award- or maybe a hug from the CEO of Durex. They've obviously dodged a few bullets by then, maybe with screwed up men, maybe with accidental pregnancy scares, maybe both. Bottom line, they didn't find the right one and didn't settle for less - that should be positively acknowledged by us all, in my opinion. All of this made me laugh out loud.
Enchanted Girl Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 This I agree with. I have nothing against single mothers doing their best to raise a child but this whole fathers are useless mentality where single motherhood is glorified as some form of girl power is what he and many others take issue with. No one is glorifying single motherhood. No person in this thread said that it was the preferred method of doing things. Did Jennifer Aniston even say that herself? I didn't hear her comments. Anyway, let's continue to ignore the fact that you guys are all saying lesbians shouldn't be allowed to have children because there is no father in their relationship.
Enchanted Girl Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 When I was younger myself and all my friends agreed that if we didn't have children by a certain age we would happily go it alone. Now that I'm older and wiser (with 2 children) I realise how hard it is. Everyone told me "you never know how hard raising a child is until you have your own"... I always dismissed this comment as patronizing. But I was wrong it is hard and I really value the fact that I have someone there to help me out. Yeah I have family but its not the same. They can't be there for me and my children like their father can. I also come from a very dissadvantaged area and I have seen the damage no positive male role model has on both girls and boys. You can walk around my area and literally pick out the ones without dads at home. Jennifer Anniston can sit there and say how easy it is to have kids on your own but (A) She's never had any.. (B) She's mega rich so can pay people to do all the hard work for her.. I think that dude was angry about how flippent Jen was being about an issue which frankly causes alot of struggle to many peoples lives. Ask any single mother in my area and they'll tell ya its not a path they would have chosen given the choice. Yea, but it's always easier the more people you have to help you. One parent will have a harder time raising a child than two. Two parents will have a harder time raising a child then two parents with a nanny. Two parents with a nanny will have a harder time raising a child than two parents with two nannies. So on and so forth. The more people you add to the equation, the easier it is on each individual and the less responsibility each individual has. My Mom didn't have nannies or even relatives or hardly any babysitters that would help watch me and my brother as children. It would be easier on her if she had. This is not an argument for women being not allowed to have children through artificial insemination just because they are single. Because then you could argue that people who don't have nannies and things shouldn't have children because it will be harder on them. It's the same argument. Having children is hard, but it's also rewarding, otherwise no one would do it.
Author stillafool Posted August 18, 2010 Author Posted August 18, 2010 I think at close to 40, most women who are not yet married should get some sort of award- or maybe a hug from the CEO of Durex. They've obviously dodged a few bullets by then, maybe with screwed up men, maybe with accidental pregnancy scares, maybe both. Bottom line, they didn't find the right one and didn't settle for less - that should be positively acknowledged by us all, in my opinion. Same goes for men. If only more people didn't settle, we'd be seeing less divorce. Being married is not a biological trait, it's a human created construct. If a woman wants to have a child alone, I see her as someone proactive and realistic, with a plan. Women in a situation like this don't generally go through things like IVF and hormone therapy, etc. on a whim. (Octo-mom excluded) I'd probably personally feel more confident that her child would be raised properly than I do with the vast majority of people I know with children in marriages, (the perfect set-up, allegedly). There are some problem children out there, and it ain't too hard to see why! Many, many people in this world should worry more about what they are doing to be a bad person, parent, friend, etc. than pass judgement on someone else and their personal decisions about their body, family, relationships, and future. O'Reilly be damned! I love your post!
torranceshipman Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 When I was younger myself and all my friends agreed that if we didn't have children by a certain age we would happily go it alone. Now that I'm older and wiser (with 2 children) I realise how hard it is. Everyone told me "you never know how hard raising a child is until you have your own"... I always dismissed this comment as patronizing. But I was wrong it is hard and I really value the fact that I have someone there to help me out. Yeah I have family but its not the same. They can't be there for me and my children like their father can. I also come from a very dissadvantaged area and I have seen the damage no positive male role model has on both girls and boys. You can walk around my area and literally pick out the ones without dads at home. Jennifer Anniston can sit there and say how easy it is to have kids on your own but (A) She's never had any.. (B) She's mega rich so can pay people to do all the hard work for her.. I think that dude was angry about how flippent Jen was being about an issue which frankly causes alot of struggle to many peoples lives. Ask any single mother in my area and they'll tell ya its not a path they would have chosen given the choice. Yea but Jennifer Aniston KNOWS she is financially stable enough to had a child on her own, and she is a sensible woman so she'd do fine. We also know that she has WANTED to have a family within a marriage, but then, lack of available men to date, plus a husband that left to bang Angelina messed up that plan. It is hardly as if she is saying 'wahey lets dump men forever, its artifical insemination and single parenthood all theway'!!! She CLEARLY wanted a family but is pushing 40 with the worlds' press calling her desparate for a man, so I say kudos to her for shutting them up.
Lipsy10 Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 Nobody is saying single women shouldn't have children or lesbians shouldn't have children. Of course we should all live our lives how we want. BUT be realistic about the choices you make. Being a single parent (mother or father) is hard on both the parent and the child. I know alot of women reach a certain age and feel like they're running out of options and choose this road. Thats their choice but don't bury your head in the sand and expect me and everyone around you to tell you its gonna be easy. I also think in this day and age theres alot of male bashing going on. We always hear about deadbeat dads but no one ever talks about the good daddys out there. As Chris Rock once said ..."No one gives a **** about Daddy..;)"
torranceshipman Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 Nobody is saying single women shouldn't have children or lesbians shouldn't have children. Of course we should all live our lives how we want. BUT be realistic about the choices you make. Being a single parent (mother or father) is hard on both the parent and the child. I know alot of women reach a certain age and feel like they're running out of options and choose this road. Thats their choice but don't bury your head in the sand and expect me and everyone around you to tell you its gonna be easy. I also think in this day and age theres alot of male bashing going on. We always hear about deadbeat dads but no one ever talks about the good daddys out there. As Chris Rock once said ..."No one gives a **** about Daddy..;)" I think that most women who choose to be a single parent because they haven't met the right man have thought VERY hard about that choice. The 2 people I know who speak highest about their parents are two guys who were both raised by a single mom. That is just an anecdote, but a good parent is a good parent, simple as that. You are lucky - really lucky - that you met the right guy. Not everyone gets that luxury. You'll find that by the time a lot of women have reached their late 30's they are mature, self sufficient, and have great maternal instincts and a lot of friends/family that can offer strong male role models to be in the life of that child in a very positive way. Also, I don't know why you were saying I was burying my head in the sand and expecting everyone to tell me it would be easy. I am engaged so will never have to think about raising a child on my own.I was just making these comments on behalf of single women who are probably sick and tired of people constantly commenting about 'oh you should settle down', 'oh what do you think you are doing raising a child alone, you don't know how hard it will be'...that's not cool. 16 and alone and wanting to be a mom then yes you have a point, but don't paint everyone with the same brush.
skydiveaddict Posted August 18, 2010 Posted August 18, 2010 I think it's the best situation when a child has both a mother and a farther
Enchanted Girl Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 (edited) Nobody is saying single women shouldn't have children or lesbians shouldn't have children. Of course we should all live our lives how we want. BUT be realistic about the choices you make. Being a single parent (mother or father) is hard on both the parent and the child. I know alot of women reach a certain age and feel like they're running out of options and choose this road. Thats their choice but don't bury your head in the sand and expect me and everyone around you to tell you its gonna be easy. I also think in this day and age theres alot of male bashing going on. We always hear about deadbeat dads but no one ever talks about the good daddys out there. As Chris Rock once said ..."No one gives a **** about Daddy..;)" If that's really the truth and that there's no one in this thread who doesn't want single parents and lesbians to have children then there's no argument here because for the most part everyone who supports the idea has been saying,"I know it's hard, but it's not a bad thing anyway" basically and that Jennifer Aniston wasn't saying anything hateful towards men through her comments. You could say the same thing really for parents in general. I mean, do people really talk about the parents who don't beat and abuse their kids? Not usually. It's just you don't need to fix something that isn't broken and unfortunately there's a lot of broken and unhappy families nowadays, so it's something we're going to talk about a lot. I'm bothered by posts like the one above mine though, where the simplicity of it implies that it's better for kids to have both a mother and a father because it immediately implies that homosexuals are inferior parents right off the bat. Edited August 19, 2010 by Enchanted Girl
skydiveaddict Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 (edited) Dont put words in my mouth. I never said that. All I said was the BEST environment for raising a child was a husband and wife situation. That's called "natural law", some thing that has existed since the beginning of time. And study after study will support me. Children do better when raised in a husband /wife family. I never said that same sex couples couldn't raise children. But narrow minded people like you will never admit that. Yes I imply that kids do better raised in traditional families, but that's only because I have facts to support that assertion Edited August 19, 2010 by skydiveaddict
Pyro Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 Dont put words in my mouth. I never said that. All I said was the BEST environment for raising a child was a husband and wife situation. That's called "natural law", some thing that has existed since the beginning of time. And study after study will support me. Children do better when raised in a husband /wife family. I never said that same sex couples couldn't raise children. But narrow minded people like you will never admit that. Yes I imply that kids do better raised in traditional families, but that's only because I have facts to support that assertion Not in every case. That comment suggests that a same sex couples child will not turn out as great as a husband/wife couples kid. Its all about the parenting. My Dad taught me hardly anything. Most stuff I learned was from outside sources.
skydiveaddict Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 (edited) I could agree with that. But I'm talking in general terms. Study after study shows that children do better in traditional families. Now I have no ax to grind here. I'm a single man, never married. I'm simply stating facts. I know I will get flamed for stating these facts, but I don't really give a **** It is fact that children raised in traditional families are more stable and successful adults. Edited August 19, 2010 by skydiveaddict
BlackLovely Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 I could agree with that. But I'm talking in general terms. Study after study shows that children do better in traditional families. Now I have no ax to grind here. I'm a single man, never married. I'm simply stating facts. I know I will get flamed for stating these facts, but I don't really give a **** It is fact that children raised in traditional families are more stable and successful adults. What about dysfunctional families?
Woggle Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 What about dysfunctional families? Of course they are not good but you only have to look at what men have turned into in order to see that having a male role model is very important for boys growing up. Somebody needs to teach them about being a man and show them the ropes. It works the other way as well. If you had a generation of girls being raisede by men with no poistive female figures would you say that was a good thing? Of course it would not be but somehow it is celebrated as a form of female empowerment when boys are raised like that.
Lipsy10 Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 Also, I don't know why you were saying I was burying my head in the sand and expecting everyone to tell me it would be easy. I am engaged so will never have to think about raising a child on my own. I wasn't talking to you or about you..just in general.
caramel c Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 I could agree with that. But I'm talking in general terms. Study after study shows that children do better in traditional families. Now I have no ax to grind here. I'm a single man, never married. I'm simply stating facts. I know I will get flamed for stating these facts, but I don't really give a **** It is fact that children raised in traditional families are more stable and successful adults. Skydiveaddict speaks the truth. Of course there are exceptions to everything. We are not speaking about exceptions here. Children are better off being raised by their own mother and father in the same house. I'm sorry to anyone who doesn't like it! You don't have to like it for it to be true.
Enchanted Girl Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 Of course they are not good but you only have to look at what men have turned into in order to see that having a male role model is very important for boys growing up. Somebody needs to teach them about being a man and show them the ropes. It works the other way as well. If you had a generation of girls being raisede by men with no poistive female figures would you say that was a good thing? Of course it would not be but somehow it is celebrated as a form of female empowerment when boys are raised like that. It's just that men pretty much have no age limit as to when they can have kids and I want women not to be limited by their age limit, that is all. Which is why they never panic about this and I want women not to panic about it either. And not to marry men in a panic that they don't love because they are afraid of not being able to have kids. But I don't think a single mother raises a child any better than a single father, so I'm not preaching anything about one being superior to the other. My best friend growing up was raised solely by her Dad and honestly, I am glad she wasn't raised by her Mom. I met her Mom and her Mom was a terrible person. @skydiveaddict: I'd like you to explain your logic behind that if it's really factual. What about having both a male and a female parent makes a child happier than any other combination? What can that family supposedly give to a child that other combinations can't?
Enchanted Girl Posted August 19, 2010 Posted August 19, 2010 Skydiveaddict speaks the truth. Of course there are exceptions to everything. We are not speaking about exceptions here. Children are better off being raised by their own mother and father in the same house. I'm sorry to anyone who doesn't like it! You don't have to like it for it to be true. So now someone is being critical of adoption? D= I'd hate the idea if I couldn't have kids of people around me believing that whatever kid I adopted would have been happier if they had just stayed with their biological parents, even if I raised the child as my own and gave it a happy home.
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